Step 1 - Declaration of
Marriage Status
Taking Care of
You. Did you know that by
taking care of YOU is what will restore your marriage? The
Declaration of Marriage Status is the FOUNDATION of which everything
else you do is supported by. By filling out the declaration of marital
status you will have the foundation to support your marriage on. Who
are you? Who are you accountable
to? No one? God? Who are you? If declaring yourself as a child of God
is not something you would like to do then you have come to the wrong
marriage help website.
Once you finish this exercise you can move on
to
step 2 and click the "marriage help resources" in the left
column. Please do not proceed to step 2 until you have printed out and
answered the Declaration of
Marriage Status form first. The declaration of marriage
status is the foundation from which everything else flows. Husbands
and wives should both fill out the declaration of marital status
form. Take your time when filling out this form and be honest with
yourself.
Step 2 - Under each heading on the left is four articles that I
have diligently selected especially for that subject of marriage.. At the end of each article I have prepared a series of questions
for you to ponder and answer and then put into practice. Like anything else, if we
do something on a consistent basis, it becomes a habit. We should have good
habits that we apply into our life and marriage.
Remember who you
are--you may have to refer back to your foundational footing on the Declaration of
Marital Status to keep you focused on what is good and right for your
self and your marriage.
These materials are of the utmost importance, for they give you
the
foundation to base your actions upon in the marriage. Without a firm
footing to base your actions upon, the marriage will inevitably fail or at
least, be miserable. Don't you want to be happy? That's what I thought.
Print out any of the materials and then answer the
questions, share with your wife if you wish and then compare notes. You will be
pleasantly surprised to see that you both want the same things for your
marriage. It is best when couples work together and do these exercises
together.
Common Marriage Issues That Are Detrimental To
Marriage and What you can do.
Disrespect
Disrespect between couples is more prevalent than you
would think. It is easy to allow the
culture of society to define the role of women in marriage but when a wife
believes that marriage is made for her happiness and that a man should cater
to that happiness no matter what, she gets disappointed and it causes disrespect
and contempt for the man she married. The main reason for this is because
couples are not applying the design that God built especially for
marriage, but rather the growing and
evolving design of society. What needs to be done here is to stop looking
out into the world for the answers your marriage needs and start looking
towards God - He will provide couples with everything they need to have an
abundant and fruitful marriage. Go back and read through the articles on Godly
Foundation again.
Submission
This is an issue that needs careful consideration
between husband and the wife together. It is not something that a wife can
do without first the husband adhering to his position in the marriage in
the proper manner. The husband first manages his headship position through
the principles of God and then his wife can submit to that headship. But if
there is no headship to begin with, she will have a difficult time
submitting. What can you do? The first thing is to
understand what
role and position each has in the marriage and then work off that
foundation. The wife can learn more about what her role and position is in
the marriage by reading through some of the articles I have prepared on submission,
answering the questions and using them as a guide for her own
marriage.
Forgiveness
Forgiving others who have hurt us is a difficult thing
to do, but if we want our marriage back on track, forgiveness is paramount
to its restoration. It's all about the resentment we hold inside and our
unwillingness to forgive. If we set back and take a hard long look at
"why" we are unable to forgive, we'll see that our unforgiveness
is hurting ourselves just as much as the person who hurt us. So it goes
without saying, that for our own inner healing to take place we have to
forgive! It's really that simple. We can either stay all bottled up in our
frustrations or we can forgive - its up to you! Read the forgiveness
ebooks - study the biblical references - it is God's will for our
lives that we forgive, even if we don't want to.
Control
Believe me, I used to be this way! But ironically I
didn't even realize it. As a matter of fact I used to think that my
husband was controlling and bossy but now when I look back at my behavior
I see that I was trying to control my husband out of my own fear and
resentment. Fear has a way of making us behave in ways that is not
conducive to marriage or any relationship for that matter. But did you know that fear is of the devil. It's
true! Now, whenever I feel the need to control my husband, change my
husband, or become bossy and treat him like one of the kids, I stop and
realize that I am not 'out of control' but merely acting on my own fears
and insecurities.
Emotions
Emotions and feelings are ok to have, don't get me wrong, but when we
use are feelings to abuse manipulate, or otherwise to get our way with, we
are allowing those emotions to control our life and marriage in a negative
way. This is why the great principle of love that Jesus taught us is the
way to go when it comes to handling our marital issues and disagreements.
I have found, that even when you don't want to, but you do the right thing
anyway, we feel better about it in the end. And I think that is how God
blesses us and our marriage. He blesses us with His comfort and gives us peace of mind. We
can love our husbands
with wisdom and feel good about our decisions because those decisions
actually come from the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ within us - it is our conscience
telling us to do what is right.
Praying
Why is it that we pray only when WE WANT OR NEED something? Maybe you
don't do that, but many times I find myself doing that. We should pray for
others because God already knows what we need. Yes, He knows what others
need too, but God wants us to care about other people's lives too,
especially the person we married. Why should we pray for our spouse?
Because they need prayer, they need God's love, and they need your love,
just as much as you need prayer and God's love. This is what's important
for your marriage.
Principled Love vs. Feelings of Love
Bring God’s principles into your marriage and learn how to love
according to principled acts of love rather than the need to “feel”
good with every situation. In other words, LOVE because you are committed
to the relationship no matter what, but don’t love because you are
needing to be loved back for a feeling. Don’t let marital difficulties
hinder how you will love. What
does love mean?
Faith
Without faith we could not heal ourselves or restore marriage and
that's because we need to have complete faith and trust in God to LET HIM
GUIDE US in the right direction for our marriage! For instance, my faith
in God tells me to stay away from temptation and to do what is right for
my marriage. But if I had faith in myself I would believe that I could
actually be around tempting situations and people and remain free from its
grip. But that's not true at all. My faith in God guides my life and what
I do with it - it has nothing to do with what I can or cannot do. Without
faith in God and believing that His way is the right way, I would start to
disrespect my husband and lead my life further away from God. We need God
guiding us! And that is the truth!
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