How To Stay Faithful In Your Marriage
Copyright 2008 Angie Lewis - Heaven Ministries
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Did you know that our thoughts and beliefs become
actions over time? The more
we think about being with other people outside of our marriage, the more
these thoughts will become our actions. Knowing this then, the first
step to conquer infidelity is not to have the desires within our mind in
the first place. Easier said than done? Not really.
We desire others sexually because we have been
conditioned into believing its ok to do so – it’s a mindset. We have
been trained to desire others sexually at a young age, and we have been
conditioned into believing it’s ok to look at scantily dressed women
and men. Our conscience may even tell us that it’s wrong to actually
commit the act of sex outside of marriage, but does our conscience tell
us that the desire is wrong?
The bible definitely lets us know that desiring
others sexually is wrong because it leads to sin, so then what is the
problem? The problem is we aren’t going to the root of the problem.
The root of sexual lust is in how we think towards human beings.
So then to stop the desire we only have to change the way we think about
others. Are we really respecting others in the way that Christ has
taught us to? If we truly respect another person then we should have the
attitude to not think about desiring them lustfully and disrespecting
them in any way.
“You were called to be free. But do not use your
freedom to indulge in the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in
love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: “Love you
neighbor as yourself”. (Galatians 5:13-14)
In fact, Christ has taught married people that to
even look at another person with lust in the heart is to have already
committed adultery. The moment we begin to desire another person outside
of our marriage we disrespect them as a fellow creation of God. Not only
that, but we are disrespecting and devaluing the marriage union that God
designed and established for His purpose.
“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman
lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Staying faithful begins with an attitude. For
instance, if a man perceives a woman as a sexual object then he has
instantly disrespected and devalued her as anything but a sexual target
to use for his own personal enjoyment. But not all women portray
themselves as such and so discernment is needed in this area of society.
Not all men and women should be disrespected in this way.
Women and men who exploit themselves as sexual objects are
confused into thinking that the men and women who want them are
respecting them, but it is actually the opposite – they are
disrespecting one another in every way.
“Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or
let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a
loaf of bread, and the adulteress prays upon your very life”.
When we respect the marriage foundation as being
reserved for a married man and woman to come together physically, and
when we respect the body, mind, and soul of other human beings that
is when we’ll become faithful in our marriages. Only married couples
belong to each other. Your body belongs to your spouse and your
spouse’s body belongs to you. But someone else’s body, outside of
your own marriage, does not belong to you, therefore to trespass against
that person through sexual thoughts or the act of sexual relations is
disrespecting that person.
“At one time we too were foolish, disobedient,
deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived
in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another”. (Titus 3:3-4)
Each and every time that we even look at another
person with sexual lust we are putting ourselves in danger. We look –
we desire – we want – we get. How about changing this mindset and
start regarding God’s creation with respect - brother and sisterly
love. Learn to appreciate others for their minds and not for what you
can get from them sexually, or otherwise. In fact, men should be
protecting women from the sexual advances and abuses of society not
“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified
the sinful nature with its passions and desires”. (Galatians 5:25)
As God’s creation we can choose rebirth and
renewal by the Holy Spirit. We do not have to allow our lustful thoughts
to take precedent over our lives. With God’s help we can become new
creatures in heart, mind, and soul. It is not a sin to be tempted but
understand that desiring what is not yours is what sets off sexual
immorality and adultery.
“Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal
body so that you obey its evil desires. For sin shall not be your
master, because you are not under law, but under grace”. (Romans