A Divine Marriage
Copyright 2002 Heaven Ministries

 

A divine marriage begins on a firm foundation based on the living life of Jesus Christ, namely the Holy Spirit. 

Who is Jesus? 

What did Jesus do for you? 

Have you accepted Jesus as your personal savior? 

Answering these three simple questions will give you the understanding to know if you are basing your marriage upon the Rock of Life. If you direct your marriage upon the rock, nothing can destroy it. 

The foundation of Christ has no flaws or holes in it. God designed this foundation for those couples who would like to stay happily married for ever-after. The life of Jesus is our Christian example to follow with steadfast dedication.

If you are unsure of what it is you want for your marriage or if you do not have any definite values and principles that you believe in for your marriage it will be difficult to stay firm upon any belief that would take you away from trusting in "self." 

Marriages fall apart or are unhappy because they are wishy-washy; full of excuses and unmet emotional needs that aren't and can't be met because the marriage is based upon the foundation of "self".  Therefore couples without ever realizing it, stumble into marriage not really knowing what their responsibilities, duties, and purpose are for the marriage. These couples try to get by relying on what they know and have been taught, but it is not enough to sustain the marriage with.
     

The foundation of "self" trusts in the feelings generated through the self, and absorbs the marriage commitment through self-made ideas and beliefs that do not have any godly values and principles attached to it.  Issues within the marriage do not get the attention they deserve when the "self cannot apply the proper foundation and get the matter resolved appropriately. Therefore, more problems arise, resentment fills the marriage, hearts become hardened and bitter, and divorce settles in. At this point, the grass seems greener on the other side of the fence. But is it?

A typical scenario goes something like this. Couples wonder around aimlessly to find contentment, and some sort of direction to stabilize their chaotic lifestyle. Something is missing from their life and the more they try and sponge the missing pieces off their spouse, the more that spouse feels confined, confused and empty. Neither spouse is getting the love they need from each other and the "self" doesn't particularly like who they are either, and so not knowing what direction to go, they seek outside influences to fill their emptiness. Because couples like this are so unsure of who they are or what their purpose in life is, one leg hangs over the fence to try and follow Jesus while the other leg seeks the so-called fulfillment from the world. The latter is only temporary and leads couples further into sin and away from the Truth.

On the wrong side of the fence, couples base marriage upon what is seen rather then what is not. What they see confirms their beliefs that what they are doing for their marriage is good and right. This is how many couples justify their behavior in the marriage. There are a vast array of things that seem good and right in the world that have been created by man for man. Yet none of these things are found in the Word of God or established by God. And that's because the world does not apply God's principles and standards for living - as a matter of fact, the world is trying hard to get God completely out of the picture, but that's not your problem, is it? 

We must not allow the worldly views and principles steer our marriage in the wrong direction. 

Ask yourself, "what do I value about myself?"  Is it my job?  My career? My looks? My house? Ask yourself, "what do I value for my marriage?"  More money? Status? A bigger house? These are some of the things that control and overpower the "self".  We put so much trust in these material possessions and use them for anchors when times are tough in our marriage. 

But these kinds of anchors won't save your marriage.

The foundation of "self" has ruled the heart in so many marriages of today and to such a degree that many couples feel there is no other way to cope with their problems. Many things we see in the world seem to be important and very real to us, and we use these things to fall back on when our marriage starts to shatter. But these things are the precursor to temptation and aren't really important at all - they don't mean anything to God, and they shouldn't mean anything to you either. Can a bigger house, or more money save your marriage?

Ask yourself. What do I believe in for my marriage? Divorce? Infidelity? Trust? Honor? commitment? Do I believe in what I see in the world to be righteous and Holy? What is my REAL purpose for my marriage? What responsibilities and duties does Christ want me to fulfill for my marriage? 

Some of you might have a lot of soul searching to do. Find out what it is that you really want for your marriage. Relationship books can't help your marriage or fill your emptiness. Why, you may ask? Because they do not get to the root of the problems? They only skim over the surface and tell you ways in which YOU have to change for your spouse. They are only temporary solutions. What about changing for yourself, that would be a start, wouldn't it?

It is a little bit deeper then trying to figure out "why your husband cheated"? Or why there is not communication in your marriage? Or why you're not sexually satisfied. Or why you look at your spouse and think you no longer love them. These things are created by our thoughts, which make up our attitude.

None of the above issues would be a problem in a Christ based marriage! You have a choice. Make the right one.

  • Who am I in my marriage?
  • What is my purpose for my marriage?

 

Questions for Couples

1. Would you say that you are trusting in your self or in Jesus Christ for your marriage? Why? Explain

 

 

2. What do you believe your responsibilities are for your marriage? Are you pursuing those responsibilities? Why or why not?

 

 

3. Do you have material anchors you are applying in your marriage when the going gets tough?

 

 

4. Who Am I in my marriage? Am I being the loving wife that God wants me to be? Why or why not?

 

 

5. What is really the main cause of my marital issues. Is it adultery, addiction, lack of intimacy, or is it because we are not basing our actions upon the Rock of love?

 

 

6. How can we begin to heal our past and work on the marriage?

 

 

7. How should I begin my soul searching to connect to my Creator and learn to love myself and others?

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