A Divine Marriage
A divine marriage begins on a firm foundation based on the living life of Jesus Christ, namely the Holy Spirit.
Who is Jesus?
What did Jesus do for you?
Have you accepted Jesus as your personal savior?
Answering these three simple questions will give
you the understanding to know if you are basing your marriage upon the
Rock of Life. If you direct your marriage upon the rock, nothing can
If you are unsure of what it is you want for your
marriage or if you do not have any definite values and principles that
you believe in for your marriage it will be difficult to stay firm upon
any belief that would take you away from trusting in "self."
The foundation of "self" trusts in the
feelings generated through the self, and absorbs the marriage commitment
through self-made ideas and beliefs that do not have any godly values
and principles attached to it. Issues within the marriage do not
get the attention they deserve when the "self cannot apply the
proper foundation and get the matter resolved appropriately. Therefore,
more problems arise, resentment fills the marriage, hearts become
hardened and bitter, and divorce settles in. At this point, the grass seems
greener on the other side of the fence. But is it?
On the wrong side of the fence, couples base marriage upon what is seen rather then what is not. What they see confirms their beliefs that what they are doing for their marriage is good and right. This is how many couples justify their behavior in the marriage. There are a vast array of things that seem good and right in the world that have been created by man for man. Yet none of these things are found in the Word of God or established by God. And that's because the world does not apply God's principles and standards for living - as a matter of fact, the world is trying hard to get God completely out of the picture, but that's not your problem, is it?
We must not allow the worldly views and principles steer our marriage in the wrong direction.
Ask yourself, "what do I value about myself?" Is it my job? My career? My looks? My house? Ask yourself, "what do I value for my marriage?" More money? Status? A bigger house? These are some of the things that control and overpower the "self". We put so much trust in these material possessions and use them for anchors when times are tough in our marriage.
But these kinds of anchors won't save your marriage.
The foundation of "self" has ruled the
heart in so many marriages of today and to such a degree that many
couples feel there is no other way to cope with their problems. Many
things we see in the world seem to be important and very real to
us, and we use these things to fall back on when our marriage starts to
shatter. But these things are the precursor to temptation and aren't
really important at all - they don't mean anything to God, and they
shouldn't mean anything to you either. Can a bigger house, or more money
save your marriage?
Some of you might have a lot of soul searching to do. Find out what it is that you really want for your marriage. Relationship books can't help your marriage or fill your emptiness. Why, you may ask? Because they do not get to the root of the problems? They only skim over the surface and tell you ways in which YOU have to change for your spouse. They are only temporary solutions. What about changing for yourself, that would be a start, wouldn't it?
It is a little bit deeper then trying to figure out "why your husband cheated"? Or why there is not communication in your marriage? Or why you're not sexually satisfied. Or why you look at your spouse and think you no longer love them. These things are created by our thoughts, which make up our attitude.
None of the above issues would be a problem in a Christ based marriage! You have a choice. Make the right one.
Questions for Couples
1. Would you say that you are trusting in your self or in Jesus Christ for your marriage? Why? Explain
2. What do you believe your responsibilities are for your marriage? Are you pursuing those responsibilities? Why or why not?
3. Do you have material anchors you are applying in your marriage when the going gets tough?
4. Who Am I in my marriage? Am I being the loving wife that God wants me to be? Why or why not?
5. What is really the main cause of my marital issues. Is it adultery, addiction, lack of intimacy, or is it because we are not basing our actions upon the Rock of love?
6. How can we begin to heal our past and work on the marriage?
7. How should I begin my soul searching to connect to my Creator and learn to love myself and others?