How a Wife Can Help Her Husband Take His Headship Position
Copyright 2010 - Heaven Ministries



What does headship mean to you? Headship is a position given to husbands as a means for him to lead and manage his home in a healthy emotional and spiritual manner. God commands that husbands oversee their household by protecting his wife and family from outside negative influences and to care for and love his family in the same way that Christ loved and cared for us, the church.

A good example of this is when Jesus overturned the tables of the moneychangers in the church. This was one of the rare occasions when Christ showed anger—it angered Him that people were buying and selling in the temple of God because it distracted true worshippers from God. “It is written, ‘My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.”  (Matthew 21:12-13)

Christ Ones are the church, therefore, we are commanded to lead and manage our marriage according to certain God-given roles designed by the Master Himself.  Are we managing our marriage to please God or to please ourselves? Wives who undermine their husband’s headship position or belittle their husbands are emotionally and spiritually harming the marriage significantly.

When Jesus overturned the tables and cast out the moneychangers from the church he essentially cleansed the church of its corruption. This is how a husband is to cleanse his marriage. “Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word.”  (Ephesians 5:25-26)

Now, washing of water by the word means to manage your marriage according to the precepts and principles of the word of God. Husbands are to cleanse their marriage of impurities just as Jesus cleansed the church.  This is where headship comes in. It’s not demand-ship, nor is it control-ship, but it is headship, which means “head or lead” of the family unit in a loving/self-sacrificial manner. Help your wife understand her role through your loving headship position.  

“That he might present it (the marriage) to himself as glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it would be holy and without blemish.” (Ephesians 5: 27) Husbands, this is your job. This is not your wife’s job. Take back your God-given role and restore your marriage to God! Woman was created from the man’s rib, it was not the other way around. Adam was created first and then Eve was created as a helpmeet for Adam. Now bear with me on this—the true illustration of this is given below.

Does anyone have any idea why so many marriages are falling apart? Well, it is because we aren’t managing our marriages according to the Master Designer! God considers marriage VERY important and this is why He exploits Christ and the church as the living symbol of how marriage should be.

God portrays the relationship of Christ being the head of the church and His role as a loving protector and sacrifice of himself for her. And the church’s role (Christ Ones) are subject to Christ through repentance and receiving forgiveness. (We are subject unto Christ for salvation).  

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. (Ephesians 5:24) Husbands and wives NEED to read and study the scriptures together, not just on Sunday. If you are ever confused about your God-given role in marriage, stop and ask yourself these questions. “How would Jesus run His church”? “Would Jesus want this done in his church’?  “Am I acting like Christ when I do this?” “Am I keeping God’s commands for marriage if I did this”?  Husbands are pastors of their own home.

Headship is a lifestyle and this lifestyle is what brings blessings and joys into the marriage relationship. But when we rebel against our God-given Christian role, whether it is the wife, the husband, or both, we corrupt our marriage. Our marriages need cleanse from this corruption through inner healing of ourselves and then restoration of our marriage to God!

Wives, your husband needs your help—he can’t do his job if you aren’t letting him, or if you are doing it for him. Let me tell you a little secret. The more we prance down on our men or belittle their manly hood we rebel against God’s will for us. We have a role in marriage too, and that role is not to take over our husband’s position. Let your husband cleanse your marriage through the word and give it back to God where it belongs!

When we rebel against our husband’s role in marriage it will not only harm our relationship with God but it will harm the sexual and emotional intimacy between husband and wife. People wonder why there is so much sexual and emotional unfaithfulness in marriage and this is why!  Don’t let this happen to your marriage. A man needs his loving and feminine wife to allow him to do his job! It’s just the way he was built. The blessings will be a closer and more intimate relationship with your husband.

Men who take their God-given position in the home with importance will always want a loving helpmeet to be by his side, not a bossy and domineering woman. When you give your husband the reins and let him guide you in Christ’s ways, you will come to realize it was the way marriage was supposed to be. “That ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.” (1 Corinthians 1:10)

“Wives submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband IS the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. (Ephesians 5:22-23)