A Wifeís Submission To Her Husband
Copyright 2007 Heaven Ministries ~ Angie Lewis
Some Christian wives tell me they have a difficult
time submitting to their husband because he is behaving inappropriately,
either through controlling behavior or demanding submission, or other
ungodly activities. If this
is the case, I must admit that it would be difficult to submit to this
kind of authority. After all, many of these women go on to tell me they
thought they married a man of God, not a Hitler.
Fortunately, God knew that this would happen from
time to time, and so He left us with appropriate instructions on how to
handle this kind of marital difficulty. First of all before we get into
what appropriate action to take, wives should identify the consistency
of this kind of behavior, and then try and figure out what she can do to
rectify the situation from happening.
Does your husband behave controlling only some of
the time, all of the time, or only once in awhile? The reason she needs
to identify the consistency of his behavior is simple, really. If a man
consistently demands that his wife submit to him, than he has his own
spiritual issues that need attended to before he can actually think that
his wife should submit to his tyrant behavior.
Issues within ourselves are what keep us from loving one another
in the proper ways.
If it happens only once in awhile, then she needs
to look at herself, and find out what she may be doing to upset the
godly nature of her husband and stop doing what it is she is doing. Or
he may be going through an emotionally stressful time in his life, and
only needs to feel reassured about something. These kinds of issues in
marriage need talked out in proper communication. If a husband only gets
controlling and demanding once in awhile, then I would tend to believe
there is probably good reason for his spiritual authority and protection
at that time.
One problem I see is that many Christian women hang
around with other single and unbelieving women at work, and they tend to
adapt to each otherís philosophy and beliefs, even trying to conform
to worldly standards and remain a Christian. For instance, a Christian
woman may hear how much fun it is to go out dancing in bars from her
unbelieving friends, and believes she is missing out on some fun. When
she goes home she has a difficult time submitting to her husband when he
says he doesnít want her to go out dancing in bars with friends. Or
her friends tell her how they boss their husband around and would never
ever submit to their husband in a million years! Hello! Do not be
unevenly yoked with unbelievers!
A husband may see his role as head of the family a
bit differently than his wife. Most Christian husbandís who take their
position seriously may protect their wives from outside influences with
great authority, while she may take his behavior as demanding or
controlling. Great discernment and godly wisdom is needed here, not
forgetting to pray about it together, so you may both understand what is
the proper way to lead and the proper way to submit. If either spouse
fail to commit to the purpose set out for them by God, there will be
troubles such as described above.
On the other hand, if a husband is often taking
advantage of his leadership position than I tend to believe he is an
unbeliever using the scripture for his own gain. And if that were the
case God has specific instructions for that.
And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer
and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the
unbelieving husband has been sanctified by his believing wifeÖ
(1 Corinthians 7:13-14 NIV)
Many times in such circumstances a Christian wife
finds her strength through the power of Christ in her life and she can
remain married and sometimes her husband may even become a believer.
This is what God intends for marriage, but it may not happen in all
In a healthy marriage both husband and wife submit
to each other but the husband is the main spiritual leader. A woman who
is sure of herself and is made to feel good about who she is will not
have a problem submitting to her husbandís loving influence.
Submit to one another out of reverence to Christ.
(Ephesians 5:21 NIV)
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For
the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church,
his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to
Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
(Ephesians 5:22-24 NIV)
Jesus Christ submitted His will to the Father, and
Christianís are to honor Christís example. So then this is how a
wife is to submit to her husband. If she does not submit to her husband,
then she is not honoring Christ or His example He left for us to follow.
To this you were called, because Christ suffered
for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his steps. (1
Peter 2:21 NIV)