Marriage is like
a tricycle. One of the back wheels is the mental (emotional) area in
marriage, another back wheel is for the physical (sexual), and the front
wheel, which is the leader, is for the spiritual aspects of the
marriage. If one of these facets of marriage is missing, what is going
to happen? The marriage is going to be unbalanced and topple over.
Did you know that
your feelings could affect your sexual appetite? For instance, if
youíre feeling bitter, resentful, or guilty towards your spouse, you
wonít feel like having sex with them. Should we deprive our spouse of
sex because of how we are feeling? I donít think
It is not right
to deny our spouse the sexual fulfillment that marriage so much needs
just because weíre mad at them or weíre having a bad day. Nothing
could be further from the truth.
bitterness are caused by an unforgiving attitude. Please go back and
read my articles on how to forgive properly. Jesus said we are to
forgive seventy times sevenÖforgiving properly means that we donít
harbor the pain anymore, and that means we donít bring up the issue
with our spouse again! Period!
Ladies, we are in
control when it comes to the sexual aspects of the marriage. Learn to
use that to your advantage. After sex is the best time to discuss any
other issues that are bothering you. Be nice, and express yourself
lovingly and appropriately. Donít nag and complain.
donít discuss their sexual preferences with each other. But this is
not the time to be shy either. Itís very vital to
the sexual health of the marriage that couples express their pleasures
in the bedroom arena. Both need to know and be acquainted with the zones
and parts of the body, which are capable of producing pleasurable
Below are a few
guidelines to take note of for a great sensual and passionate marriage,
even after ten, and twenty years of marriage!
This is for the
ladies reading this. I have learned through experience that men NEED to
have sex. Some men like it everyday, others every other day, while
others maybe two times a week. Be ready when your
husband wants to have sex. Donít reject your
husband for just any reason; make him feel loved and good about himself.
Men love this kind of sensual pampering.
When we reject
our husband, that is when they begin THINKING about looking elsewhere to
find fulfillment, and we donít want that, do we ladies? So often we
take our husband for granted in this area, and donít realize the
importance of sexual fulfillment for the man in our life. Donít give
him any reasons to look elsewhere, take care of him!
This is for the
men reading this. The most important thing you can do for your wife is
to not rush into the lovemaking act in 30 seconds. Come on now, be more
considerate. You know it takes your wife a bit longer than you. Tell her
how much you love her, and rub her all over, wherever she likes it. Be
more patient in the bedroom, your time will come soon enough.
Bottom line, do
not deprive or reject each other! A happy sexual relationship involves
right attitudes. It is Godís will that married couples enjoy sexual
relations with each other. Find out what wheel is missing in your
marriage and fix it.
ďThe wifeís body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband. In the same way, the husbandís body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by MUTUAL consent and for A TIME, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so Satan will not TEMPT you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:4-6
Questions For Couples
1. Would you consider your sex life to be satisfied? Why or why not. Explain.
2. What areas can you work on that would help the lovemaking department?
3. Do you think rejecting your spouse of sex is going to help you and your spouse become close and intimate? Explain
4. How is your attitude about sex? Good? Mediocre? Not good? Explain.
If you and your spouse are having sexual problems it is because something else is amiss in the marriage. Communicate and find out what that area is. Sometimes when we stop doing fun things together or when we stop having alone time it causes our attitude towards sex to falter too.
5. What do you think causes emotional infidelity in marriage?