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Biblical Wisdom for Your Marriage ~
There are two ways we can
love our spouse. We can love under our own understanding of what we
think love is, or we can love the way God has directed us to love. I
think we all know how to love, but doing it is a whole different
matter.
What is the difference
between the two? The first way of loving is a condition and learned
way to love, which is selfish and self-seeking. We don't know we are
behaving selfishly because we do not know any other way to love.
The second way of loving
is what comes naturally because we have loved and accepted God into
our lives first. The reason it's so natural is because we have
recognized and utilized the spiritual Christ in our lives, which
makes loving a natural process of who we are.
It is very difficult to
love another if we are only thinking about ourselves. Some examples
of how we love our spouse selfishly are, committing adultery, being
disrespectful, using controlling behavior, using negative feelings,
becoming resentful, becoming ensnared in an addiction, and the list
goes on.
False teachings on
marriage and loose morals in society have caused many couples to
become bitter and apprehensive when loving one another. Society has
lost the value of what real love is and it has tainted couples into
sinful behavior. As we all know sin dampens our love for God by
turning our focus on ourselves. You cannot truly love your spouse if
you only think of yourself.
Husbands, love your
wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
to make her holy, cleansing her by washing with water through the
word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church without
stain, or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In
the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself.
Ephesians 5:25-28
1.)
A Husband should be willing to sacrifice everything for his
wife just as Jesus Christ sacrificed everything for us. Do you think
a husband who loves God will be able to make his wife the most
important aspect of his life?
2.)
A Husband should make his wife's well-being of prime
importance. Do you think that if a man accepts Christ into his life
he will know how to love, protect, provide and care for his wife
properly? God will give him the answers he needs.
Wives,
submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head
of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which
he is the Savior. Now as the
church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their
husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24
As
you can see from scripture, both husband and wife are called to
submit. For the wife, this means willingly following her husband's
leadership in Christ. For the husband, it means putting aside his
own interests in order to care for his wife properly. This means
doing whatever it takes to protect, provide, love, and care for his
wife under the "spiritual authority" given to him by God.
If
a husband does not accept the "spiritual authority" of
God, then he has no justification to think that his wife submit to
him the way God intends for a woman to submit to her husband.
Obviously they are not basing their love under the foundations of
Jesus Christ, but under their own understanding of what they think
love is, and this scripture, therefore, does not apply to them.
Here
is what couples usually tell me when they are going through
difficulties in their marriage. They want to do what is right for
their marriage. They are willing to work at the marriage but don't
know what to do about their problems. Their negative feelings bring
them down, and they are usually upset and furious over the
iniquities and faults of one another.
The
problem is couples are basing their marriage upon worldly views,
attitudes, and thoughts, and the fact is, as long as they continue
to do so, they will continue to have difficulties loving their
spouse properly. When we are not motivated by love, we become
critical of our spouse. We stop looking for the good things in those
we love and only see their faults.
We
can all talk about how to love and we know what the bible says about
loving our spouse, but what about doing what it says! Bottom line is
real love takes effort, and if the willingness is not there to work
on marriage and to love our spouse with the love that comes natural,
couples will have problems.
The
good news is you can love your spouse naturally and wholly by
recognizing and utilizing the foundations of God's design into your
relationship and working off of that for your marriage.
Love
must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be
devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above
yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual
fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction,
faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need.
Practice hospitality. Romans
12:9-13
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