Angie’s Marriage Column ~ February 9, 2011

Judy’s Testimony on Divorce and Remarriage


Ask Angie: Hi there, I watched your video, "Is Remarriage Adultery". In 1991 I married a divorced man whose true covenant wife was (and is) still alive. Seventeen years later (in May of 2008) the Lord showed me that I was living in adultery and that I needed to repent of the adultery by not only "admitting it" (confessing my sin) but also by "quitting it" (forsaking my sin).

Many Christians think that all they have to do to "repent" of an adulterous remarriage is to confess their sin without having to forsake the adulterous remarriage.  Thank you very much and the Lord bless you as you walk in His ways...

P.S: Here is my Youtube testimony.


To Our Readers: Incredibly as I was writing the February marriage alive newsletter yesterday (you were all sent this newsletter) on a question about “divorce and remarriage this testimony came into the ministry. It is amazing how God works in our lives to bring encouragement when we most need it. And today many need this encouragement and God knows that. What perfect timing. As I watched Judy’s testimony it brought tears of joy into my heart. (A lost sheep has come home) I am sure that Judy's decision was monumental for her, but she knew that it was a choice that she had to make.

A few people have written into the ministry voicing their unhappiness and complaints over the biblical counsel we give about this issue. Some of these people think Frank and I are being smug or self-righteous, or amazingly making stuff up out of thin air. But scripture is for our reproof. All I can say is Praise God that He has given us His understanding and His wisdom and His Word to see His will for our lives.

As Judy says in her testimony above, the churches have and are mis-leading people. But the Word is clear. If you read it with sincere willingness to know God’s will for your life you may come to see God’s perspective too. We pray that you do.

And be not conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Romans 12:2)



If Your Christian Spouse Divorces You,
What Is God’s Will For You Now?


Many women and men write into the ministry in heartbreak letting us know that their spouse, who claims to be a Christian has left the marriage and wants a divorce. This is a very difficult, fearful, frustrating and challenging time for people, especially since they got married thinking they would be married to their spouse for a lifetime commitment.  

Many of these Christian people wonder if they should remarry and start all over again, mostly because they do not want to be alone for the rest of their life. But remarriage is not God’s plan for a man or woman whose spouse has divorced them. It is unfortunate that so many “so called” Christian spouses are not behaving very responsibly in the marriage that they started.  All I can say is they are VERY confused about God’s purpose and plan for marriage.

I realize that sometimes in marriage it just doesn’t work out because a spouse continues to commit adultery, or walks out of the marriage, or is adamant about a divorce. If a spouse demands a divorce and or trespasses against the marriage repeatedly, it is of my firm belief that they have been misinformed in the Christian church about God’s plan for marriage

What Does God Think About Divorce?

God hates divorce and says so in scripture. "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away..." —Malachi 2:16

"Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." —Matthew 19:6

In the few instances where a spouse truly does not want to work on the marriage and insists on a divorce, what can you do? Just let them go. Do not undermine your faith or  beliefs because of an unbelieving spouse. Your only recourse at this point is to just let your spouse do what they feel they need to, hoping that one day they will come back to God. They have a hardened heart and do not know that divorce is not God’s plan.

Scripture talks quite a bit about divorce and lets us know that God designed marriage as a permanent relationship. The problem is many couples go into marriage with the wrong attitude. They think that marriage is going to solve their problems, or make them happy, or they think they can change their spouse but these things are not realistic. We must be prepared for a lifetime marriage and seriously know what God’s will is BEFORE we get married.

Can My Spouse Divorce Me if I Commit Adultery?

In Matthew chapter 5 Jesus explains what marriage “used” to be like before Him, in the days of old.  Moses made a law that allowed men to divorce their wives if they gave them a certificate of divorce. God did not tell Moses to enact this new divorcement law; he just went ahead and did it because he felt he had too. Unbelieving husbands were throwing their wives out into the streets, literally.

Now in the New Testament, Christ says the days of old are no more: “It hath been said, whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement.  But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery. (Matthew: 5:31-32)

Does this mean that if a spouse commits adultery it is ok to get a divorce? As much as the churches would like to believe and preach that divorce is ok if a spouse commits adultery, the study on it shows otherwise. If you look closely at this scripture it uses the word “fornication” not “adultery”. ”Whosever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery. Matthew: 5:32

What is fornication? Fornication is when you are not married yet—it is sex between two unmarried people. Doing more research on this study it shows that Jesus was talking to the Jews about the permanency of marriage. It was the custom back then for Jewish couples to be called husband and wife that were betrothed (engaged), which according to custom was almost like being married. But they had not consummated the marriage.

So the scripture is talking about couples who are not yet married, but are only betrothed. You could put away your betrothed wife or husband, if they committed fornication BEFORE the consummation period but not after. Jesus was letting them know that marriage is a permanent commitment.

God Takes Marriage Very Seriously

Yes, God takes marriage very seriously and for good reason, it is the symbol of the relationship between Christ and the true church. In fact we are to glorify this example of Christ and the church with our marriage! It is not a contract that can be broken like men do with contracts today. There is no dissolution of marriage no matter what either party has done in the marriage. But, here again, if the unbelieving spouse insists on leaving let them go. It would cause much ado to argue, fuss, and fight with someone who is adamant about leaving the marriage. Pray for them and perhaps they will come to their senses sooner rather than too late.

“But if the unbelieving depart let them depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.” (1 Corinthians 7:15)

Understand though, that just because you are “state” divorced from your spouse does not however mean to get remarried. It is God’s will for the Christian man or woman whose spouse divorced them to remain single and do God’s work rather than jump into another marriage. In fact remarriage is not even mentioned in the bible because in God’s eyes you are still married to your divorced spouse. So then you are not really single and available, and if we want to please God we should strive to do his will and serve him in whatever capacity that He has gifted us with.

“The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.” (1 Corinthians 7:39-40)


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