Marriage Column ~ February 9, 2011
Testimony on Divorce and Remarriage
there, I watched your video, "Is
Remarriage Adultery". In 1991 I married a divorced man whose
true covenant wife was (and is) still alive. Seventeen years later (in
May of 2008) the Lord showed me that I was living in adultery and that I
needed to repent of the adultery by not only "admitting it"
(confessing my sin) but also by "quitting it" (forsaking my
Christians think that all they have to do to "repent" of an
adulterous remarriage is to confess their sin without having to forsake
the adulterous remarriage. Thank you very much and the Lord
bless you as you walk in His ways...
Here is my Youtube testimony.
Incredibly as I was writing the February
marriage alive newsletter yesterday (you were all sent
this newsletter) on a question about “divorce and remarriage this
testimony came into the ministry. It is amazing how God works in our
lives to bring encouragement when we most need it. And today many need
this encouragement and God knows that. What perfect timing. As I watched
Judy’s testimony it brought tears of joy into my heart. (A lost sheep
has come home) I am sure that Judy's decision was monumental for her,
but she knew that it was a choice that she had to make.
few people have written into the ministry voicing their unhappiness and
complaints over the biblical counsel we give about this issue. Some of
these people think Frank and I are being smug or self-righteous, or
amazingly making stuff up out of thin air. But scripture is for our
reproof. All I can say is Praise God that He has given us His
understanding and His wisdom and His Word to see His will for our lives.
Judy says in her testimony above, the churches have and are mis-leading
people. But the Word is clear. If you read it with sincere willingness
to know God’s will for your life you may come to see God’s
perspective too. We pray that you do.
And be not conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Romans 12:2)
Your Christian Spouse Divorces You,
Many women and men write into the ministry in
heartbreak letting us know that their spouse, who claims to be a Christian
has left the marriage and wants a divorce. This is a very difficult,
fearful, frustrating and challenging time for people, especially since
they got married thinking they would be married to their spouse for a
Many of these Christian people wonder if they should
remarry and start all over again, mostly because they do not want to be
alone for the rest of their life. But remarriage is not God’s plan for a
man or woman whose spouse has divorced them. It is unfortunate that so
many “so called” Christian spouses are not behaving very responsibly
in the marriage that they started. All I can say is
they are VERY confused about God’s purpose and plan for marriage.
I realize that sometimes in marriage it just
doesn’t work out because a spouse continues to commit adultery, or walks
out of the marriage, or is adamant about a divorce. If a spouse demands a
divorce and or trespasses against the marriage repeatedly, it is of my
firm belief that they have been misinformed in the Christian church about
God’s plan for marriage
What Does God Think About Divorce?
God hates divorce and says so in scripture.
"For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he
hateth putting away..." —Malachi 2:16
"Wherefore they are no more twain, but one
flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put
asunder." —Matthew 19:6
In the few instances where a spouse truly does not
want to work on the marriage and insists on a divorce, what can you do?
Just let them go. Do not undermine your faith or beliefs
because of an unbelieving spouse. Your only recourse at this point is to
just let your spouse do what they feel they need to, hoping that one day
they will come back to God. They have a hardened heart and do not know
that divorce is not God’s plan.
Scripture talks quite a bit about divorce and lets us
know that God designed marriage as a permanent relationship. The problem
is many couples go into marriage with the wrong attitude. They think that
marriage is going to solve their problems, or make them happy, or they
think they can change their spouse but these things are not realistic. We
must be prepared for a lifetime marriage and seriously know what God’s
will is BEFORE we get married.
Can My Spouse Divorce Me if I Commit Adultery?
In Matthew chapter 5 Jesus explains what marriage
“used” to be like before Him, in the days of old. Moses
made a law that allowed men to divorce their wives if they gave them a
certificate of divorce. God did not tell Moses to enact this new
divorcement law; he just went ahead and did it because he felt he had too.
Unbelieving husbands were throwing their wives out into the streets,
Now in the New Testament, Christ says the days of old
are no more: “It hath been said, whosoever shall put away his
wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement. But
I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the
cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery. (Matthew:
Does this mean that if a spouse commits adultery it
is ok to get a divorce? As much as the churches would like to believe and
preach that divorce is ok if a spouse commits adultery, the study on it
shows otherwise. If you look closely at this scripture it uses the word
“fornication” not “adultery”. ”Whosever shall put away his wife,
saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit
adultery. Matthew: 5:32
What is fornication? Fornication is when you are not
married yet—it is sex between two unmarried people. Doing more research
on this study it shows that Jesus was talking to the Jews about the permanency
of marriage. It was the custom back then for Jewish couples to be
called husband and wife that were betrothed (engaged), which according to
custom was almost like being married. But they had not consummated the
So the scripture is talking about couples who are
not yet married, but are only betrothed. You could put away your betrothed
wife or husband, if they committed fornication BEFORE the consummation period
but not after. Jesus was letting them know that marriage is a permanent
God Takes Marriage Very Seriously
Yes, God takes marriage very seriously and for good
reason, it is the symbol of the relationship between Christ and the true
church. In fact we are to glorify this example of Christ and the church
with our marriage! It is not a contract that can be broken like men do
with contracts today. There is no dissolution of marriage no matter
what either party has done in the marriage. But, here again, if the
unbelieving spouse insists on leaving let them go. It would cause much ado
to argue, fuss, and fight with someone who is adamant about leaving the
marriage. Pray for them and perhaps they will come to their senses sooner
rather than too late.
“But if the unbelieving depart let them depart. A
brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called
us to peace.” (1 Corinthians 7:15)
Understand though, that just because you are
“state” divorced from your spouse does not however mean to get
remarried. It is God’s will for the Christian man or woman whose spouse
divorced them to remain single and do God’s work rather than jump into
another marriage. In fact remarriage is not even mentioned in the bible
because in God’s eyes you are still married to your divorced spouse.
So then you are not really single and available, and if we want to please
God we should strive to do his will and serve him in whatever capacity
that He has gifted us with.
“The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.” (1 Corinthians 7:39-40)
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