Marriage Help For Husbands - taking care of you!

A Place to come and learn about who you are 'as a child of God' and heal the wounds that are holding you back from loving the person you are and loving others in the ways of the Lord. Do you need godly guidance and support?  Do you want God to start blessing your marriage? Are you willing to work on healing yourself? 

How Should a Husband Love His Wife?

Marriage Resources

Free e-books
newsletters

articles

addiction help

books

Read First!
1. Do It Yourself Marriage Counseling
2. Who Are You?
3. Who Are You Accountable To?

Healing and Well Being
1. You Can Restore Your Marriage
2. A New Person In Christ

3. Jump Start Your Mind With Affirmations
4. Having The Right Attitude

Ebook - Living up to Your Full Potential

Godly Foundation
1. Making Your Marriage Work!
2. Instruction Manual For Marriage
3. Five Ways To A Great Marriage
4. Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage

Ebook - How To Be Free and Achieve True Marital Happiness

Spiritual Headship
1. Understanding Spiritual Headship
2.
How To Influence Your Wife Spiritually
3. I want to Lead, But My Wife Is Doing It
4. Show Your Wife You Love Her
5. Christian Roles for Marriage

Learning Forgiveness
1. Forgive Your Wife
2. Have You Really Forgiven?
3.
The Key Is Forgiveness and Acceptance
4. My Wife Won't Forgive Me of Adultery

Forgiveness Ebook - Forgiveness in Marriage

Adultery Ebook
- How to Forgive an Unfaithful Spouse

Principled Acts of Love
1. Principled Acts of Love
2. What Love Means To You
3. How To Stop Divorce and Recommit
4. Are You Unhappy In Marriage?

Pray For Your Wife
1. What is Important For My Marriage?
2. My Spouse Wants a Divorce
3. Married to an Unbeliever
4. Treat Your Wife With Respect

Bonus Article - How Should We Pray?

Communication and Self Expression
1. How To Communicate Productively
2. Healthy Marriage = Team Effort

Intimacy and Sex
1. Love, Sex, and Intimacy
2. Get Intimate!
3. Bring Intimacy Back Into Your Marriage
4. Sexually Satisfied Marriage

Stuff For Couples
1. Pocket Those Negative Feelings
2. Spiritual Growth With Your Wife
3.
How A Husband Should Love His Wife

Healing From Unfaithfulness

1. Take Responsibility For Your Actions
2. The Unfaithful Husband Seeking Forgiveness
3. Heal and Restore Your Marriage After Adultery
4. Why Does Jealousy Hurt So Bad?
5. Broken Promises, Lies, and Infidelity
6. Is Flirting and Looking The Same As Cheating?

Adultery Pandemic: Recovery From Adultery

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Adultery Pandemic

A treasure book filled with effective guidance for your marriage from forgiveness and trust to recommitting your lives to each other again. Practical and easy-to-read, this book combines the solutions and remedies your marriage needs towards recovery from adultery.  Ebook $7.95

 

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Step 1 - Declaration of Marriage Status  
Taking Care of You
. Did you know that by taking care of YOU is what will restore your marriage? The Declaration of Marriage Status is the FOUNDATION of which everything else you do is supported by. 

By filling out the declaration of marriage status you will have the foundation to support your marriage on. Who are you? Who are you accountable to? No one? God? Who are you? If declaring yourself as a child of God is not something you would like to do then you have come to the wrong marriage help website. 

Once you finish this exercise you can move on to step 2 and click the "marriage help resources" in the left column. Please do not proceed to step 2 until you have printed out and answered the Declaration of Marriage Status form first.  The declaration of marriage status is the foundation from which everything else flows. Husbands and wives should both fill out the declaration of marital status form. Take your time when filling out this form and be honest with yourself.  

Step 2 - Under each heading on the left is four articles that I have diligently selected especially for that subject of marriage.. At the end of each article I have prepared a series of questions for you to ponder and answer and then put into practice. Like anything else, if we do something on a consistent basis, it becomes a habit. We should have good habits that we apply into our life and marriage. 

Remember who you are--you may have to refer back to your foundational footing on the Declaration of Marital Status to keep you focused on what is good and right for your self and your marriage. 

These materials are of the utmost importance, for they give you the foundation to base your actions upon in the marriage. Without a firm footing to base your actions upon, the marriage will inevitably fail or at least, be miserable. Don't you want to be happy? That's what I thought. Print out any of the materials and then answer the questions, share with your wife if you wish and then compare notes. You will be pleasantly surprised to see that you both want the same things for your marriage. It is best when couples work together and do these exercises together.

Common Marriage Issues That Are Detrimental To Marriage and What you can do. 

Don't Control - Demand - Manipulate

Why would you feel the need to control, and or otherwise manipulate your wife? Something is amiss when a husband has to abuse his wife to get his way. Go back to the personal healing articles and read through them. Study the scriptures references in those articles. Be the godly and loving man that God created you to be FIRST...and then you will not feel self-doubting about who you are and then you can not be so worried about what your wife is or is not doing. Any man who has to control his wife to get his way is not praying for his marriage. Understand that when you control, demand, or manipulate to get your way, it will actually push her further away from you. If you want your marriage restored, you need to take responsibility for your actions!

What actions can you use instead of control, demand, and manipulate? How about this:

Control - change this action to powerless (powerless to control another)
Demand - change this action to to influence (influence with your loving actions not demanding actions)
Manipulate - change this action to "love by principle" (God's principles do not manipulate but emit love)

Spiritual Headship

God made man to be the spiritual leader over his family. This standard has not changed 2000 years later.  The most important aspect of a mans responsibility to his wife and family is to "be the man of the house" by taking the lead in a loving and gentle way. Guide your family in the Word of God. Discipline your children in the ways of the Lord and Love your wife as Christ loves His TRUE church - His people. If you are having a difficult time guiding your home spiritually, maybe you are just trying too hard. Go back to the written materials and study them. Pray that God give you the guidance you need to be the loving spiritual leader of your home. Sometimes when we try too hard or when we need everything to be perfect, it becomes too stressful. Take a breather, give it to God - pray about it, and God WILL give you the clear guidance you need. 

Prayer

I can not underestimate the value of prayer. Praying with the woman you married brings you together in thoughts, ideas, and spirituality. Not only does it give you the spiritual connection that you need to be at peace with God but it builds up your faith in Him in every way! Pick a time each evening before dinner or at bedtime to spend thirty minutes in peaceful oneness and solitude with the woman you married. Use fifteen minutes of that time reading from the bible or praying together. spend the rest of that time expressing yourself to your wife. Tell her how your day went - tell her how much you appreciate her - talk to her, be open and honest because that is what will help to bring you closer together. She wants to be there for you. Let her do her job as your wife. 

Principled actions of love vs. feelings of love

What is the difference. Well, lets say you had a bad day at work and you come home hungry, tired, and cranky, and you find your wife watching TV and there is nothing to eat. What are you going to do? How will you react? Let's say you want to make love to your wife but she keeps rejecting you night after night. What are you going to do? How will you react? both of these issues as well as numerous others takes wisdom and careful consideration on how to deal with them. It is certainly not right what the wife is doing or not doing in the above scenarios, but why is she not cooking her husband a meal and why is she rejecting her husband sexually?  She needs inner healing - you need inner healing, but this is about you now, so let's focus on your part in the marriage. ok? Instead of getting angry with her or sulking in silence, communicate with her and tell her "how you feel." Talking works wonders in marriage. We need to take responsibility for our own actions, not someone esle's.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a MUST for a healthy marriage. Marriage cannot be re-establish until you forgive. You can not heal the demons within until you forgive. Let go of the resentment and forgive! forgiveness is for your own healing, because it is only after you forgive that you can love properly. We do not have the power to forgive on our own, it is something supernatural and comes from God. If you are having a difficult time forgiving your wife, you must ask God to help you. Pray every day that God give you the strength to give up your resentment and forgive so you too may be forgiven. Read the Forgiveness in Marriage ebook. Read through some of the articles on forgiveness and answer the questions at the bottom. You Can Forgive!

Respect and Appreciation

You need to humbly pray about this and ask God to help you with this. Respect can be a difficult thing to do, especially if we are not being respected by our wife in our home. But be the one to GIVE IN FOR THE SAKE OF THE MARRIAGE. Base your marriage upon the principle of respect. If the man of the house would first be loving and respectful, even if his wife is naggy and disrespectful sometimes, it will get the woman of the house to recognize her wrong actions. Talk to your wife and let her know, you want to and will do your best to respect her, and would like to be respected in return. Learn good principled habits for your marriage and God will help you... if you keep Him at the forefront of your marriage.

"The most beneficial way to handle marital issues is from the foundation of the Creator of marriage. No one cares more about your marriage than God.  Ask God – He will provide".

Priority List For Marriage
Who Are You Accountable To? 

 

Husband’s Priority List

God – Jesus Christ

Wife (Accountability, Responsibility)

Children (Responsibility)

Ministry (Helping others)

Self (career, job, hobbies)

Wife’s Priority List

God – Jesus Christ

Husband (Accountability, Responsibility)

Children (Responsibility)

Ministry (Helping others)

Self (career, job, hobbies)

Love The Woman 
You Married

This book is written for the Christian husband who desires to know the proper ways of loving his wife the way God intended, so she will want to submit to his unwavering love for her. 

Hardcopy $12.95 
 Ebook $7.95

Lewis tackles every subject in this fascinating God-help (notice I didn't say self-help) book: Love, sex, romance, expression, attitude, wisdom, communication, forgiveness, and respect. Her writing is accurate and concise because she has been down in the valley and, in my personal opinion, she has reached the mountaintop of understanding how to have a successful and happy marriage. --- Review by D. Blankenship

Need Marriage Guidance?
Ask Angie & Frank

Email

Your question may be used in our weekly marriage column 

 

Are you or have you ever gone through any of these issues in marriage? 

  • You feel the need to change or control your wife
  • Not sure of what your position is in the marriage
  • Have lost romance and intimacy with your wife
  • You have a difficult time telling your wife your feelings
  • You need to forgive your wife of something
  • Want to know how to bring spiritual headship and wisdom into the home
  • Don't feel your emotional needs are getting met
  • Stopped communicating with wife
  • Lost intimacy

These issues and more will be addressed in detail in Love The Woman You Married

 

 

Copyright © 2002 - 2009 - Heaven Ministries
All Rights Reserved

Copyright © 2002 - 2010 Heaven Ministries
All Rights Reserved