Stop everything youíre doing and write down these
principled ways for reconnecting and restoring the broken bonds with
your spouse. Apply each of these principles every day until you have
completed them all. Donít worry about what your spouse will say or do,
just do these steps for yourself and for God.
Forgive Your Spouse
Forgiveness is the greatest principle ever created.
Instead of being vengeful, spiteful, resentful, and unforgiving, Christ
teaches us to forgive. Forgiveness
is much needed before you can restore the marriage because without
forgiving your spouse they may feel exasperated, move on, and find
someone who will forgive and love them. Forgiving your spouse lifts the
burden from you and frees you to love again. Forgiveness is freedom of
heart, mind, and soul. Do not say, ďIíll pay you back for this
wrong!Ē Wait for the Lord and he will deliver you. Proverbs 20:22
Bible Study Together
Make time for the Lord! It is so important to make
time for understanding and learning about Godís will for your
marriage. Couples should not forget about the importance of growing and
connecting with the Lordóit is what brings couples back together
again. It is God who brought you together in the beginning and it is God
who will reunite you again. If your spouse is unwilling to read the
bible with you, then read it on your own. God is spirit, and his
worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth. (John 4:24)
Husbands should take the lead in the bible study area area and start to take their headship position with more seriousness! It's not that hard. Make time every day to read the bible with your wife. Study, learn and grow spiritually together...
Trust Your Spouse
Just like forgiveness, trusting your spouse
involves fruit from your spirit. Christ gives us fruit when we remain
faithful to Him and do His will in our marriage. But the fruit of the
spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22)
Trusting your spouse takes all of the above
attributes. If you do not trust your spouse now then you must pray about
it and ask Christ for the guidance you need. Trust is an important
aspect of having a close intimate and emotional bond with your spouse.
In reality, real trust for our spouse comes from trusting in our self.
How do we trust in ourselves? Through having a close intimate connection
with our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Forgiveness works very closely with trust. If a
spouse has hurt you in some way and you stop trusting them then the
intimate and emotional bonds between you will break. Talk with your
spouse about ways in which they can begin to be more accountable to you.
Let them know that because of past behavior you need this kind of
accountability from them right now. The husband should fulfill his
marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. (1
If you and your spouse are separated now, then you
may be unable to apply any real accountability into the marriage, but
you can let your spouse know that you forgive them and trust them for
anything they may have done in the past and that you are now moving
forward in the Lord, and taking care of your self and any
responsibilities that join you to the marriage. They need to know that
you are not going to resent them or play head trips with them because of
a past sin they may have committed.
Communicate Intimately Every Day!
Donít let a day go by that you do not have an
intimate conversation with your spouse. Is there something on your mind,
talk about it today. Get things off your mind productively.
Donít beat around the bush, but be straightforward and honest about
Believe it or not couples can lose touch with one
another emotionally and intimately when they do not take the time to be
there for each other through communication of feelings and
self-expression. Who are you married to? Do you know? What does your
wife need most from you? What do you need most from your wife? How can
husband and wife meet these needs of each other? By being givers! Do you
know the person you are married to? If not, why not?
This is why scripture states to build each other
up. It is through your intimate and emotional conversations with
your spouse and doing things together that we become intimate and build
each other up. We all need
encouragement now and again; even those people who have close
relationships with Christ. In ideal marriages it is essential that
couples be there for each other! Therefore encourage one another, and
build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (1 Thessalonians
By applying these steps into your marriage you will be putting God first in your life and marriage. You will be doing the will of God for your life. Blessed is the man (woman) who makes the LORD his trust. (Psalm 40:4)
Copyright Heaven Ministries