video talks about how oblivious husbands are about their wives
dissatisfaction in the marriage. We
want to help husbands BEFORE the wife leaves with the kids.
Restoring Marriage When
Stop everything you’re doing and
write down these principled ways for reconnecting and restoring the
broken bonds with your spouse. Apply each of these principles every day
until you have completed them all. Don’t worry about what your spouse
will say or do, just do these steps for yourself and for God.
Forgive Your Spouse
Forgiveness is the greatest principle
ever created. Instead of being vengeful, spiteful, resentful, and
unforgiving, Christ teaches us to forgive. Forgiveness
is much needed before you can restore the marriage because without
forgiving your spouse they may feel exasperated, move on, and find
someone who will forgive and love them. Forgiving your spouse lifts the
burden from you and frees you to love again. Forgiveness is freedom of
heart, mind, and soul. Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this
wrong!” Wait for the Lord and he will deliver you. Proverbs 20:22
Bible Study Together
Make time for the Lord! It is so
important to make time for understanding and learning about God’s will
for your marriage. Couples should not forget about the importance of
growing and connecting with the Lord—it is what brings couples back
together again. It is God who brought you together in the beginning and
it is God who will reunite you again. If your spouse is unwilling to
read the bible with you, then read it on your own. God is spirit, and
his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth. (John 4:24)
Husbands should take the lead in the bible study area area and start to take their headship position with more seriousness! It's not that hard. Make time every day to read the bible with your wife. Study, learn and grow spiritually together...
Trust Your Spouse
Just like forgiveness, trusting your
spouse involves fruit from your spirit. Christ gives us fruit when we
remain faithful to Him and do His will in our marriage. But the fruit of
the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22)
Trusting your spouse takes all of the
above attributes. If you do not trust your spouse now then you must pray
about it and ask Christ for the guidance you need. Trust is an important
aspect of having a close intimate and emotional bond with your spouse.
In reality, real trust for our spouse comes from trusting in our self.
How do we trust in ourselves? Through having a close intimate connection
with our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Forgiveness works very closely with
trust. If a spouse has hurt you in some way and you stop trusting them
then the intimate and emotional bonds between you will break. Talk with
your spouse about ways in which they can begin to be more accountable to
you. Let them know that because of past behavior you need this kind of
accountability from them right now. The husband should fulfill his
marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. (1
If you and your spouse are separated
now, then you may be unable to apply any real accountability into the
marriage, but you can let your spouse know that you forgive them and
trust them for anything they may have done in the past and that you are
now moving forward in the Lord, and taking care of your self and any
responsibilities that join you to the marriage. They need to know that
you are not going to resent them or play head trips with them because of
a past sin they may have committed.
Communicate Intimately Every Day!
Don’t let a day go by that you do
not have an intimate conversation with your spouse. Is there something
on your mind, talk about it today. Get things off your mind
productively. Don’t beat around the bush, but be straightforward and
honest about your feelings.
Believe it or not couples can lose
touch with one another emotionally and intimately when they do not take
the time to be there for each other through communication of feelings
and self-expression. Who are you married to? Do you know? What does your
wife need most from you? What do you need most from your wife? How can
husband and wife meet these needs of each other? By being givers! Do you
know the person you are married to? If not, why not?
This is why scripture states to
build each other up. It is through your intimate and emotional
conversations with your spouse and doing things together that we become
intimate and build each other up. We all need
encouragement now and again; even those people who have close
relationships with Christ. In ideal marriages it is essential that
couples be there for each other! Therefore encourage one another, and
build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (1 Thessalonians
By applying these steps into your marriage you will be putting God first in your life and marriage. You will be doing the will of God for your life. Blessed is the man (woman) who makes the LORD his trust. (Psalm 40:4)
Copyright Heaven Ministries
Angie’s Marriage Column ~ November 17, 2010
Angie: I do not love my husband. What do you
do when your husband has disappointed you so much over the years (22
years married) and he has been in drugs, and had one encounter with
another woman? He is uneducated. He is no fun. He
spends all his free time watching TV. I have hung in there for
all these years. I am not attracted to him. I don't find
him interesting at all. He never understands what I talk about.
He is not good at conversation. He is very boring. I feel
share this marriage column with your spouse. Click on the links within
the article to get a fuller understanding and to apply the needed
Guidance: What do you do? Well, you love your
husband anyway. Love is not a feeling – love is something you do –
in marriage sometimes we have to sacrifice our own needs and wants for
the person we are married to. I know this can be difficult to do if
you are feeling resentful and disappointed in your marriage but this
is what God asks us to do. We’re married, not dating. And God takes
marriage seriously. It sounds like you are dwelling on your husbands
faults and that is leading you down pity pot highway.
video talks about how oblivious husbands are about their wives
dissatisfaction in the marriage. We
want to help husbands BEFORE the wife leaves with the kids. This is
why we are offering you this free report:
Six Weeks of Pleasure With Your Spouse report (PDF). This report
will enlighten husbands and wives to the design that God engraved
within the sexes, which will help you to relate to your husband or
wife better. So if this sounds like something you would like to do
then read Six
Weeks of Pleasure.
husbands are oblivious to most marriage problems because couples
don’t communicate well. But did you know that a big part of communication
to your spouse? But many times what happens is the husband may see
that his wife is discontented at times through her emotions and
complaining, but does not realize it is her way of saying,
“something has to be done” “something needs to be changed”! Couples
communicating with each other; husband does not take his wife's
discontent as a signal that she is thinking about leaving the
marriages go through periods where couples get into their routines and
everything seems kind of boring and the doldrums set in, but this
certainly is not a reason to feel hopeless and unhappy. You need to do
something about it. We can almost guarantee that your husband does not
even know that his marriage is in danger because you have not
expressed your true feelings to him in years! Instead,
what many wives do is complain with their emotions – I did this and
sometimes still do. But I now know when I am doing it
and can stop doing it. We have to be careful; our husbands cannot read
us by our emotions. We need to express ourselves assertively but
nicely to our husbands so they KNOW what we are discontented about.
This is called productive
communication. Don’t expect that your husband knows what is
ministry has been receiving marriage help complaints from couples
since 2002 and the fact is 8
out of 10 men don’t even know that anything is seriously wrong with
their marriage UNTIL their wife has already left with the kids! (<Video)
It’s sad but true. Productive communication and
self-expression is seriously lacking in marriage today because couples
don’t take the time to talk with one another. And then intimacy is
they do not love each other anymore.
talk about how boring and uninteresting your husband is, but did you
know that you make up for half of the marriage? It takes two people to
make a marriage what it is. To dwell on the negative aspects of your
spouse will almost always make you feel disappointed with them. If
your husband is not putting any effort into the marriage and if you
are not putting any effort into the marriage then it will be boring,
predictable and uninteresting. Besides
that marriage is not always exciting. All marriages tend to get
monotonous at times, but that’s reality of life.
you ever had a negative feeling about your spouse and then acted on
it? Almost everyone has at one time or another, but what about those
persistent negative feelings that keep haunting you that you just
can’t seem to get out of your mind. Just last week I had three women
tell me they were not “in love” with their husbands anymore.
Society teaches that love is a feeling and that marriage should feel
euphoric and blissful like when you were first dating or that first
puppy love. But this is incorrect information. Don't deceive
Society has confused lust with love!!
happens when the excitement and newness of the marriage ware off?
What if we don’t feel “euphoric in love” anymore? Should
we move on and find someone who will not be boring and uninteresting?
Isn’t that what they do in dating relationships? Should we compare
marriage to dating? I don’t think so.
true, when the excitement whines down it can bring on the doldrums of
marriage. That means it is time to
do something about it, pronto! Why continue to cater to the
lifelessness of your marriage? Do
something about it. Many couples when they do not feel
“in love” anymore automatically think the marriage
is over, and then they act on that
thinking. Don’t let this faulty thinking that is floating
around in your head to cause you to divorce your spouse.
to know the person you married all over again. Some
couples need to reacquaint themselves with each other, again. This
happens because as time goes by and while they were wallowing in their
feelings of not being “in love” anymore and dwelling on spouses
faults they lost touch with their spouse. And then all they see is the
negative aspects of the man or woman they married and it is making
them feel, as you say, hopeless.
was the last time you had a meaningful
conversation with your husband? Let’s try that for one week.
Meaningful conversation means to actually express your feelings and
thoughts with each other in beneficial and productive ways. Be
assertive about how and why you feel a certain way, but do not become
aggressive with your conversation by finger pointing, blaming or
accusing one another. Just
you feel like your marriage is heading into the doldrums and you
can’t get out of the rut, then its time to share more of your self
with your spouse. Why wait for you to both get bored and negative
with the relationship? Play together! Doing
even simple things together can bring laughter and joy back into your
conversations. Sharing pleasurable times together will not
only bring you closer to your spouse, but will help you to remember
why you married them in the first place.
is no better gift of love that you can give your spouse than your
willingness to accept them the way they are. Don’t
misunderstand me here, I’m not talking about accepting a sinning
spouse’s behavior, that is something else altogether, what I’m
saying is we all have our idiosyncrasies, faults and weaknesses that
need our personal attention. Perhaps if we worked on our own faults
our spouse will want to do the same. Maybe this is something you could
is a lifetime commitment through the good as well as the bad.
Just because we think that our spouse is uninteresting, uneducated and
boring does not mean it is time to move on or to feel hopeless. Do
something to help your spouse! On the contrary…We’re
married to our spouse for life so we may as well make it the best we
can, right? Acceptance is love, and by showing open-mindedness,
understanding and patience with your spouse, your marriage can endure
through the hard-hitting times as well as the enjoyable.
Creative and start doing more enjoyable things together for a change.
Overtime, doing things together will bring you both back in touch with
each other again.
our FREE report “6
Weeks of Pleasure”.
a board game instead of watching TV (scrabble,
monopoly, clue, cards)
to some Jazz music, light some candles and talk about anything and
a romantic picnic
the bible together and discuss what you read
turns reading a book that you both like out loud, and then talk about
your own home movie or music CD and upload it to YouTube
a personal web page together
a scrumptious meal together
a microphone and have your own karaoke
each other a twenty minute massage
up jogging or walking together
are a few things you can do, if you have time, and money in the
a live play at the theater
to the beach or mountains for the weekend or longer if permissible
up a hobby together, such as sailing or photography
the night in a hotel with a Jacuzzi
up roller skating or ice skating (fun way to keep those legs in shape)
tickets to your husband’s favorite sporting event
creative and just do but do it together
are so many ways to bring intimacy back into your marriage – it’s
all up to you and what you both enjoy doing! Most things you can do
together don’t even cost any money! Whatever you decide to do,
remember that love is not a feeling. To love someone means to do
loving things - apply the fruit
of the Spirit into your marriage.
can choose to love our spouse or we can choose to not love our spouse.
God’s will is that we put Him first in our lives so we can produce
spiritual fruits in ourselves for
our marriage. We do this by choosing to do loving things for the
man or woman we married, even when we don’t feel
like it. This is love!
Jesus Christ into your marriage and let Him guide you in His marvelous
and wonderful ways!
Let the husband
render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto
the husband. (1 Cor 7:3)
if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such
as one in the spirit of meekness; consider thyself, lest thou also be
ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if a
man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth
himself. But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have
rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For every man shall
bear his own burden.
not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that
shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh reap corruption:
but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life
Bless Your Marriage!
Ministries ~ Marriage Healing Ministry
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