8 out of 10 men don’t even know that anything is seriously wrong with their marriage UNTIL their wife has already left with the kids!

This video talks about how oblivious husbands are about their wives dissatisfaction in the marriage.  We want to help husbands BEFORE the wife leaves with the kids. Most husbands are oblivious to most marriage problems because couples don’t communicate well. But did you know that a big part of communication is listening to your spouse? But many times what happens is the husband may see that his wife is discontented at times through her emotions and complaining, but does not realize it is her way of saying, “something has to be done” “something needs to be changed”!  Couples are NOT communicating with each other; husband does not take his wife's discontent as a signal that she is thinking about leaving the marriage!



Restoring Marriage When Only 
One Spouse Is Willing

 6 Weeks of Pleasure

Stop everything you’re doing and write down these principled ways for reconnecting and restoring the broken bonds with your spouse. Apply each of these principles every day until you have completed them all. Don’t worry about what your spouse will say or do, just do these steps for yourself and for God.

Forgive Your Spouse

Forgiveness is the greatest principle ever created. Instead of being vengeful, spiteful, resentful, and unforgiving, Christ teaches us to forgive.  Forgiveness is much needed before you can restore the marriage because without forgiving your spouse they may feel exasperated, move on, and find someone who will forgive and love them. Forgiving your spouse lifts the burden from you and frees you to love again. Forgiveness is freedom of heart, mind, and soul. Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the Lord and he will deliver you. Proverbs 20:22

Bible Study Together

Make time for the Lord! It is so important to make time for understanding and learning about God’s will for your marriage. Couples should not forget about the importance of growing and connecting with the Lord—it is what brings couples back together again. It is God who brought you together in the beginning and it is God who will reunite you again. If your spouse is unwilling to read the bible with you, then read it on your own. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth. (John 4:24)   

Husbands should take the lead in the bible study area area and start to take their headship position with more seriousness! It's not that hard. Make time every day to read the bible with your wife. Study, learn and grow spiritually together...

Trust Your Spouse

Just like forgiveness, trusting your spouse involves fruit from your spirit. Christ gives us fruit when we remain faithful to Him and do His will in our marriage. But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22)

Trusting your spouse takes all of the above attributes. If you do not trust your spouse now then you must pray about it and ask Christ for the guidance you need. Trust is an important aspect of having a close intimate and emotional bond with your spouse. In reality, real trust for our spouse comes from trusting in our self. How do we trust in ourselves? Through having a close intimate connection with our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Forgiveness works very closely with trust. If a spouse has hurt you in some way and you stop trusting them then the intimate and emotional bonds between you will break. Talk with your spouse about ways in which they can begin to be more accountable to you. Let them know that because of past behavior you need this kind of accountability from them right now. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:3)

If you and your spouse are separated now, then you may be unable to apply any real accountability into the marriage, but you can let your spouse know that you forgive them and trust them for anything they may have done in the past and that you are now moving forward in the Lord, and taking care of your self and any responsibilities that join you to the marriage. They need to know that you are not going to resent them or play head trips with them because of a past sin they may have committed.

Communicate Intimately Every Day!

Don’t let a day go by that you do not have an intimate conversation with your spouse. Is there something on your mind, talk about it today. Get things off your mind productively. Don’t beat around the bush, but be straightforward and honest about your feelings.

Believe it or not couples can lose touch with one another emotionally and intimately when they do not take the time to be there for each other through communication of feelings and self-expression. Who are you married to? Do you know? What does your wife need most from you? What do you need most from your wife? How can husband and wife meet these needs of each other? By being givers! Do you know the person you are married to? If not, why not?

This is why scripture states to build each other up. It is through your intimate and emotional conversations with your spouse and doing things together that we become intimate and build each other up.  We all need encouragement now and again; even those people who have close relationships with Christ. In ideal marriages it is essential that couples be there for each other! Therefore encourage one another, and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:10)

By applying these steps into your marriage you will be putting God first in your life and marriage. You will be doing the will of God for your life. Blessed is the man (woman) who makes the LORD his trust. (Psalm 40:4)

Copyright Heaven Ministries












Angie’s Marriage Column ~ November 17, 2010


Guess what?  No Communication, No Intimacy, Leads to 
Resentment and Divorce

Ask Angie: I do not love my husband.  What do you do when your husband has disappointed you so much over the years (22 years married) and he has been in drugs, and had one encounter with another woman?  He is uneducated.  He is no fun.  He spends all his free time watching TV.  I have hung in there for all these years.  I am not attracted to him.  I don't find him interesting at all.  He never understands what I talk about.  He is not good at conversation.  He is very boring.  I feel so hopeless.

Please share this marriage column with your spouse. Click on the links within the article to get a fuller understanding and to apply the needed solutions.

Marriage Guidance: What do you do? Well, you love your husband anyway. Love is not a feeling – love is something you do – in marriage sometimes we have to sacrifice our own needs and wants for the person we are married to. I know this can be difficult to do if you are feeling resentful and disappointed in your marriage but this is what God asks us to do. We’re married, not dating. And God takes marriage seriously. It sounds like you are dwelling on your husbands faults and that is leading you down pity pot highway.  

Guess what?  No Communication, No Intimacy, Leads to Resentment and Divorce 

This video talks about how oblivious husbands are about their wives dissatisfaction in the marriage.  We want to help husbands BEFORE the wife leaves with the kids. This is why we are offering you this free report: Six Weeks of Pleasure With Your Spouse report (PDF). This report will enlighten husbands and wives to the design that God engraved within the sexes, which will help you to relate to your husband or wife better. So if this sounds like something you would like to do then read Six Weeks of Pleasure.  

Most husbands are oblivious to most marriage problems because couples don’t communicate well. But did you know that a big part of communication is listening to your spouse? But many times what happens is the husband may see that his wife is discontented at times through her emotions and complaining, but does not realize it is her way of saying, “something has to be done” “something needs to be changed”!  Couples are NOT communicating with each other; husband does not take his wife's discontent as a signal that she is thinking about leaving the marriage!

Most marriages go through periods where couples get into their routines and everything seems kind of boring and the doldrums set in, but this certainly is not a reason to feel hopeless and unhappy. You need to do something about it. We can almost guarantee that your husband does not even know that his marriage is in danger because you have not expressed your true feelings to him in years! Instead, what many wives do is complain with their emotions – I did this and sometimes still do. But I now know when I am doing it and can stop doing it. We have to be careful; our husbands cannot read us by our emotions. We need to express ourselves assertively but nicely to our husbands so they KNOW what we are discontented about. This is called productive communication. Don’t expect that your husband knows what is wrong.

Our ministry has been receiving marriage help complaints from couples since 2002 and the fact is 8 out of 10 men don’t even know that anything is seriously wrong with their marriage UNTIL their wife has already left with the kids!  (<Video)   It’s sad but true. Productive communication and self-expression is seriously lacking in marriage today because couples don’t take the time to talk with one another. And then intimacy is lost and couples feel and think they do not love each other anymore.

You talk about how boring and uninteresting your husband is, but did you know that you make up for half of the marriage? It takes two people to make a marriage what it is. To dwell on the negative aspects of your spouse will almost always make you feel disappointed with them. If your husband is not putting any effort into the marriage and if you are not putting any effort into the marriage then it will be boring, predictable and uninteresting.  Besides that marriage is not always exciting. All marriages tend to get monotonous at times, but that’s reality of life.

Have you ever had a negative feeling about your spouse and then acted on it? Almost everyone has at one time or another, but what about those persistent negative feelings that keep haunting you that you just can’t seem to get out of your mind. Just last week I had three women tell me they were not “in love” with their husbands anymore. Society teaches that love is a feeling and that marriage should feel euphoric and blissful like when you were first dating or that first puppy love. But this is incorrect information. Don't deceive yourself!!

Society has confused lust with love!!


What happens when the excitement and newness of the marriage ware off?  What if we don’t feel “euphoric in love” anymore? Should we move on and find someone who will not be boring and uninteresting? Isn’t that what they do in dating relationships? Should we compare marriage to dating? I don’t think so.

It’s true, when the excitement whines down it can bring on the doldrums of marriage. That means it is time to do something about it, pronto! Why continue to cater to the lifelessness of your marriage? Do something about it. Many couples when they do not feel “in love” anymore automatically think the marriage is over, and then they act on that thinking. Don’t let this faulty thinking that is floating around in your head to cause you to divorce your spouse.

Get to know the person you married all over again. Some couples need to reacquaint themselves with each other, again. This happens because as time goes by and while they were wallowing in their feelings of not being “in love” anymore and dwelling on spouses faults they lost touch with their spouse. And then all they see is the negative aspects of the man or woman they married and it is making them feel, as you say, hopeless.  

When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with your husband? Let’s try that for one week. Meaningful conversation means to actually express your feelings and thoughts with each other in beneficial and productive ways. Be assertive about how and why you feel a certain way, but do not become aggressive with your conversation by finger pointing, blaming or accusing one another.  Just talk!

If you feel like your marriage is heading into the doldrums and you can’t get out of the rut, then its time to share more of your self with your spouse. Why wait for you to both get bored and negative with the relationship? Play together! Doing even simple things together can bring laughter and joy back into your conversations. Sharing pleasurable times together will not only bring you closer to your spouse, but will help you to remember why you married them in the first place.


There is no better gift of love that you can give your spouse than your willingness to accept them the way they are.  Don’t misunderstand me here, I’m not talking about accepting a sinning spouse’s behavior, that is something else altogether, what I’m saying is we all have our idiosyncrasies, faults and weaknesses that need our personal attention. Perhaps if we worked on our own faults our spouse will want to do the same. Maybe this is something you could do together.


Marriage is a lifetime commitment through the good as well as the bad. Just because we think that our spouse is uninteresting, uneducated and boring does not mean it is time to move on or to feel hopeless. Do something to help your spouse! On the contrary…We’re married to our spouse for life so we may as well make it the best we can, right? Acceptance is love, and by showing open-mindedness, understanding and patience with your spouse, your marriage can endure through the hard-hitting times as well as the enjoyable.


Get Creative and start doing more enjoyable things together for a change. Overtime, doing things together will bring you both back in touch with each other again.

1.      Read our FREE report “6 Weeks of Pleasure”.

2.      Play a board game instead of watching TV (scrabble, monopoly, clue, cards)

3.      Listen to some Jazz music, light some candles and talk about anything and everything

4.      Have a romantic picnic

5.      Read the bible together and discuss what you read

6.      Take turns reading a book that you both like out loud, and then talk about it

7.      Make your own home movie or music CD and upload it to YouTube

8.      Create a personal web page together

9.      Cook a scrumptious meal together

10.  Buy a microphone and have your own karaoke

11.  Give each other a twenty minute massage

12.  Take up jogging or walking together

Here are a few things you can do, if you have time, and money in the wallet.

1.      See a live play at the theater

2.      Go to the beach or mountains for the weekend or longer if permissible

3.      Take up a hobby together, such as sailing or photography

4.      Spend the night in a hotel with a Jacuzzi

5.      Take up roller skating or ice skating (fun way to keep those legs in shape)

6.      Buy tickets to your husband’s favorite sporting event

7.      Get creative and just do but do it together

There are so many ways to bring intimacy back into your marriage – it’s all up to you and what you both enjoy doing! Most things you can do together don’t even cost any money! Whatever you decide to do, remember that love is not a feeling. To love someone means to do loving things - apply the fruit of the Spirit into your marriage.

We can choose to love our spouse or we can choose to not love our spouse. God’s will is that we put Him first in our lives so we can produce spiritual fruits in ourselves for our marriage. We do this by choosing to do loving things for the man or woman we married, even when we don’t feel like it.  This is love!

Bring Jesus Christ into your marriage and let Him guide you in His marvelous and wonderful ways! Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. (1 Cor 7:3)

“Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such as one in the spirit of meekness; consider thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself. But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For every man shall bear his own burden.

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh reap corruption: but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.  Galatians 6:1-8)

God Bless Your Marriage!
In Christ,
Frank and Angie


Heaven Ministries ~ Marriage Healing Ministry

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