How to Influence Your Wife Spiritually
Copyright © 2006 Heaven Ministries

Notice I did not say, "How to control your wife spiritually". Or "How to coerce your wife to submit to your headship". Or, "How to manipulate your wife to submit." 

A Christian husband should be patient and understanding with his wife when it comes to expecting her to submit to his spiritual direction. Be gentle and kind with her always. Never be controlling and bossy with her because this is not what loving your wife properly is all about. Love her with your gentle spirit and she will love you back with a gentle spirit.

A Godly man is going to put God first in his life and then he will be blessed with his position of spiritual influence in his home. A man cannot lead his castle properly if he has not allowed God to first influence his own life, so then it goes without saying that any wife would have a difficult time submitting to her husband who hasnít surrender his own life over to God first. So remember this as you lovingly influence your wife to submit to your spiritual counsel.

Be a Godly Husband

If you want to influence your wife spiritually, donít tell her what to do, how to believe, or what to say? Donít tell her she is not a good wife or that she is not a Christian for not submitting to you. If you want to influence your wife, look at your own life and do what is morally right and acceptable so she will want to be by your side in all things. Let her want to be your right arm; let it be her decision, as it should be. Otherwise it wouldnít be true submission, would it?  Your uprightness is what will influence your wife spiritually.  

Be Humble

What exactly is humbleness? Be real. Donít try and be something youíre not. Be the natural man that God created you to be, that would include your sins and weaknesses. Accept your faults. Say you are sorry when you have hurt others, and strive to do better. Walk your walk in life to the best of Godís will as you possibly can. Donít say you donít sin, that wouldnít be true.

Stay faithful, spiritually and mentally. Be purposeful and alive in your position as the spiritual counselor in the home, but do not use your position to take advantage of your family with. Be true to yourself. You influence your wife by being who you are. She will accept you with your faults more than if you say you donít have any faults.  

Be an Example

Show your wife what submission is. You cannot do that by being argumentative and contrary. Give in for the sake of love. We cannot change others, we can only change and work on ourselves in the hopes that through our example others will turn their lives around and seek love.  Mutual submission should always be a humble cooperation and consideration for each other.  

Popular culture delights in perverting what submission and spiritual headship really are. This is direct rebelliousness to God, which takes society even further away spiritually from the truth as they become more blind and close minded to Gods true intentions for marriage.   

God created divisions of authority in order for the world to function efficiently. Marriage is not any different; there must be divisions of authority in marriage so it too, can function efficiently. God created men and women with unique and complimentary characteristics that work ideally together when husband and wife stick to their own unique abilities and characteristics. God did not make one sex better than the other.

Couples need to stop making the issues of authority and submission a barrier to destroy the sanctity of marriage; instead they should use their God given talents and unique abilities to strengthen each other and to glorify God with.  

Questions for Husbands


1. How would a godly man show his wife what submission is?



2. What are the responsibilities of spiritual headship?



1. Loving God with applying His principles into your household - Explain, how will you do that?



2. Leading your wife and children in the ways of the Lord - Explain, how will you do that?



3. Making sure your family is protected from outside negative influences - Explain, how you will do that?



4. Disciplining and guiding your children in the ways of the Lord - Explain, how you will do that