The Key To A Successful Marriage Is Learning To Forgive Through Acceptance
Copyright © 2007 Heaven
Is your marriage locked up tight because you need to forgive your spouse? When our marriage becomes locked up and a spouse has thrown away the key, nothing productive will happen for it - the marriage remains stagnant and that's not good. We open up our marriage when we accept our spouse for who they are, faults and all. Of course this does not mean that when a spouse is purposely sinning against the marriage, we should accept that! No way. Be a good example to them instead. This lets them know that what they are doing is wrong for the marriage.
Be an encourager and build up your spouse. That' what marriage is
Did you know we have to forgive and love and accept our spouse on a daily basis? That's right - daily basis! The kind of forgiveness I am talking about is not a one time forgiveness over some huge sin your spouse committed against you or the marriage such as adultery. I'm talking about a recurring forgiveness over a spouse's annoying habits and weaknesses every single day of the marriage, and that takes acceptance.
No one likes to be criticized or browbeaten because they eat too fast, talk to fast, nag too much, or eat too much dessert. Your spouse is not perfect by any means, and neither are you, so if we expect them to be perfect, we'll surely become disappointed in them and their annoying little habits. I encourage couples to accept and forgive when those annoying little habits pop up out of nowhere.
To be able to forgive our spouse over and over again we have to first unlock our hearts to God and allow Him to go to work in our own life. Otherwise, we'll have a hard time forgiving our spouse for rejecting us last night. Or we won't be able to forgive our spouse for yelling at us, or for getting angry over spending too much money, or not... You get the idea, right? Those annoying little habits can turn into something bigger if we don't let them go and forgive.
I often tell couples to take a look at their own little annoying habits first. What this does is helps them take the focus off of their spouse's faults. I often encourage couples to look at themselves before they become overly judgmental or critical of their spouse.
I have read that the traits that annoy us in others are usually what we don't like about ourselves. So what does that mean? Well, it means to take the log out of your own eye first so you can see clearly enough to accept your spouse for who they are.
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also ye are called in one body, and be ye thankful. (Colossians 3:15 KJV)
Questions for Couples
How can we accept the person we married for who they
Why did I marry the person I married?
Why am I not accepting my spouse?
In what ways can I encourage my spouse and help them in their
weakness and habits?