It's Not Too Late To Be The Spiritual Leader in Your Home
Copyright © 2006 Heaven Ministries

What happens in a home when the husband leads the household with the spiritual authority God gave him? How can a man become the spiritual leader in his home? What are the responsibilities of a spiritual leader?

Some husband's might feel that it's too late to be the spiritual leader of the home, maybe they already got a divorce, or maybe their children have already rebelled and are going their own way. But in all truth, it is never too late to begin accepting the roles and responsibilities that were god-given and god-breathed for you!

Some men may feel they can't lead the home properly because they don't read the bible enough, or they think they are too passive and introverted to lead the household like it should be lead so they have the wife become the leader, bread winner, and major disciplinary of the children. This is a bit backwards. Um, I wonder if this has anything to do with the high rate of divorce and unhappy marriages floating around in this country. This is not what God had in mind when he established roles of husband and wife in marriage.

If husbands aren't doing their jobs, then I guess I understand why the wife feels she needs to take over. Someone's got to do it, right?  But this is not what God meant for marriage at all! God recommends that every home be lead by the spiritual influence of the husband. There are very good reasons for this, and I think you already know why. So then, what’s the problem, folks?

Responsibilities of a spiritual leader:

1. Loving God (Christ) with all your heart, mind and soul. You will not be able to lead your home properly if you do not submit to God's will for you.
2. Bringing God's truth and wisdom into the home.
3. Making major decisions for the home, but not before discussing your decision with your wife, unless for some reason she is unable to interact with you and the decision needs to be made immediately.
4. Discussing all minor decisions with the wife, and coming to a spiritually based conclusion, even if the wife has to compromise with her husband.
5. Submitting your undying devotion to your wife, meaning you are willing to die for her if you have to. Besides God, your wife is the most cherished and loved person in your life. Love her with the wisdom God has given you, and she will understand how to submit to your authority. She really will. It is a natural loving process that any spiritual minded woman will see.
6. Protecting wife and children from all physical, mental, and emotional danger.
7. Disciplining the children in the ways of the Lord, and not in the ways of the world. Wife can do minor disciplinary if it is what both husband and wife have agreed upon already. Dad protects his children from outside negative influences doing whatever it takes to keep children safe, secure, educated and loved properly.
8. It is the responsibility of the husband to be the major breadwinner in the home. There are several reasons for this. For one, being the financial supporter of the home makes the man of the house feel good about who he is as the leader. It is his job and responsibility as the man to support his family financially the best he can, if at all possible. Children really need their mother at home with them. Children need that bond, stability, nourishment and love from their mother.

For those men who have never led the home before, you have a haul ahead of you and none of this goes without spiritual effort from you. The main focus here is to believe in yourself! Have faith that this is what your true responsibility as husband and father are. You must try and do the best you can and continually pray that God give you the wisdom and instruction for your duties every single day!

A spiritual leader needs to place God FIRST in his life, above all others, even wife and children. The man who submits to God recognizes wisdom for his life and marriage, and will do whatever it takes to keep it together.

Here are the five major objectives of becoming a good spiritual leader.

1. Bible study: at least 2 times a week.  Don't be intimidated by the words, "bible study".  Just read the bible and you will be studying it. God knows your heart and He will give you the answers you need.
2. Start disciplining, protecting children and wife properly – Values and morals need to be assessed on everyone in the home. Have family discussions about new responsibilities, tasks, and roles that they will partake in.
3. Proper decision-making – Discernment about functions, friends, relations, issues in the home.  Ask for the wisdom to discern what is right for your family.
4. Be a good example to self, wife, children, and above all God.
5. Make all needed changes in the home that will benefit everyone involved. Be team players working together instead of each family member going their separate ways.

How can a man become the spiritual leader in his home?

1. Get organized and focused on your objectives. Know what you're going to say to the family before you say it.
2. Get family all together and explain your intentions, making sure everyone understands the new structure in the home, whatever you have decided upon.
3. Have a twice a week bible study and counseling with the whole family.
4. Stand firm to God's word by placing wife, children, marriage, and self under the foundations of Jesus Christ.
5. Keep studying, learning, growing, and gaining more and more spiritual insight for you and your family to grow on. Always stay faithful.

You can do this! Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. You have the potential to feel good about yourself, and have a great family and marriage. It is up to you and how much effort you are willing to put into it, that's all. Be all that God wants you to be and you will have the wisdom you were meant to have.

At first you wife may rebel. She is used to having things her way. But whose error is that? The way things are going between husband and wife these days is not just the fault of the woman who feels she needs to be the man in high heels, but the weakness of the man who hasn't yet recognized his god-given role in life! Love your wife with the wisdom God has given you and she will submit to your love for her.

Questions for Husbands

1. Are you the spiritual leader for your household now? Why or why not?

2. Would you like to be the spiritual leader of your home? Explain

3. What measures can you take to begin to carry out your God-given position?

4. Is your wife keeping you from leading the home in the way you think God would want? If so, why do you think that is?

5. What could you do differently to help your wife see Jesus Christ working in you?