Copyright 2005 Heaven Ministries


What's so hard about making marriage work? Why do some marriages work and some don't? How can you make your marriage strong and stable? 

A strong and stable marriage starts with having a a godly foundation to base the marriage upon.  And then using this foundation when issues and problems arise in the marriage. We should ask ourselves, what is God's will for my marriage? How can I have a peaceful marriage and be happy with my spouse? 

The biggest problem I see in marriage today is the lack of the Spiritual Jesus in the marriage. Even if one spouse is using their God-given knowledge to solve marital issues, the marriage will basically be standing on one leg. But if both spouses lack a spiritual source for the marriage it most likely will not have any leg to stand on and the marriage will fail. 

Jesus Christ is the spiritual source for the Christian marriage. In everything he or she does, the Holy Spirit should be the Christians right hand. Jesus said He left us His Spirit for comfort and council. We aren't alone when trouble heads our way.

"But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things, and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do no let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid". John 14:26-27

Wow! Jesus really loves us. Jesus wants our marriage to work! The Holy Spirit reminds us of everything that Jesus has said to us. It's all in the bible. We can go to the bible to find the answers! We can listen to our conscience and do what is right. And we can humble our self and turn the other cheek. We can do many wonderful and righteous things for our marriage that would be pleasing to God. So then what's the problem?

The problem is we are not doing these things. But if we say we are a child of God then why are we not going to Him for our answers and the guidance we need for our lives? We must build our house on the foundations of our Source - of who we are. We should not build our house on the foundations of a rocky world - it will get blown away!

Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down , the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. Matthew 7:24-25

Knowing biblical truth such as this we can see that marriage can work if couples place their feet on the sure foundation of Jesus Christ.  Most couples when they first marry do not deliberately seek to build on a false or wrong foundation, society literally leads couples to place their hopes and dreams on the wrong foundation if they are not careful. We shouldn't be in such a big hurry to allow the world to tell us what is right and good for our marriage even if it looks or appears to be where all the answers are. 

It's like playing follow the leader. We follow the leader to seek out the truth because we want answers, but the leader hasn't gone to the correct source for the answers, instead the leader has taken matters into his own hands, which leads all the answer seekers down a blind alley. Most marriages are traveling down this blind alley thinking this is where hope, love and peace is. Society obviously doesn't know the answers to marriage; most marriages fail. We need to stop playing  "follow the leader game" with our life. 

Many marriages do not work because of error in foundation. couples are not heeding Christ's message!! Part of the responsibility as believers in Christ is to stop and think about where our life is going, what is our purpose for marriage, and what are the consequences of ignoring Christ's message? We need to seek out the source of marriage by going back to the beginning and talking with the designer of marriage.

The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 1:18

Marriage was established and ordained by God from the beginning.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Genesis 1:24

The proper foundation for marriage rest with God and God alone, not with society. Couples need to find the comfort and peace for their marriage that they are looking for through the Word of God. 

But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house (life and marriage) on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house, and it fell with a great crash. Matthew 7:26


Questions for Couples


1. Who is your helper in marriage (helpmate)



2. Where do you turn when you need answers for your marriage?



3. Is your house build on the firm foundation of the rock or the shaky foundation of sand?




4. How can you re-BUILD your house on the Rock of Christ?