5 Ways To Improve Communication With Your Spouse

Heaven Ministries Copyright 2008 

Proper communication is very important in our relationships with others, especially the person we married. In our anger or resentment we often say things we do not mean to say. Or we just don't communicate our feelings at all. Both ways of communicating are detrimental to our relationships with others. Below I have outlined five ways we can become better communicators. 

Think Before You Speak

How often do we blurt out derogatory and spiteful things from our mouth because we are angry, tired, or stressed? A far better way to communicate is to make it a habit to walk away in anger, and then come back at a later time and talk about feelings appropriately when we can be more positive and productive with our speech. Shouldn't we ask God to help us in our anger so we can learn to control what we say? 

Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the laps of fools. (Ecclesiastes 7:9 NIV)

Be Patient and Understanding

Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Have you ever tried that? I had to teach myself to do this because I realized that at times I was being unjust with my words, especially when I was in a not so good mood. Realistically, people get moody from time to time. We wouldn't be real people if we didn't have negative feelings once in awhile. But that does not mean that we need to beat others down with our moodiness. Try patience and a little bit more understanding towards how the other person might be feeling, and it gets your mind off of your own negativity. It really works!

A mans wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. 
(Proverbs 19:11 NIV)

Detach With Love

This is a must in all relationships from time to time. Some of our relationships with others can be more difficult, and sometimes we will have to detach from them emotionally, lest we say and do things that we really shouldn't have. When we don't detach, many times, we make ourselves the victim instead; we do this to ourselves and it makes us bitter and resentful. Don't become a victim, detach instead. Doesn't Jesus Christ tell us to turn the other cheek? 

Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. (Proverbs 17:14 NIV)

Resolve Issues Same Day

It is always important to resolve our conflicts on the same day. Married couples especially, should never go to bed angry at each other. Why? Couples should never let marital issues pile up; it causes resentful feelings, and loss of intimacy. Couples, I believe, remain intimate by resolving difficult issues and coming to compromising solutions. 

Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-27)

Forgive and Love

If we want communication with our spouse or with others to be productive and positive, we certainly will need to forgive. People just don't realize how often they need to forgive, and the reason why is we have not learned to detach from those who try and hurt us or trespass against our spirit. I don't even think we realize that we need to forgive, but we do! We either need to learn to turn the other cheek and not become the victim, or keep forgiving over and over again.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV)