Love Who You Married
by Angie Lewis
This article has been edited, revised and updated on October 2005
I believe the word “love” is thrown around just a bit too nonchalantly. Don't you think? People say they love but do nothing to SHOW that love. Love needs action to complete its purpose. So when I say “love who you married” that means to provide of your self in the marriage. That IS what love is!
Let’s take a look at 6 biblically based principles that make up several areas of loving.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
1. Love Is Patient! Are you patient with your spouse? Patience is a virtue. It is a wonderful character trait to have and practice patience. Are you utilizing all of the potential that God has given you? Are you patient, or are you easily irritated and annoyed?
Do you listen to what your spouse has to say? Are you considerate and understanding of their needs and desires? Being patient with your spouse is one way you furnish love to them.
2. Love Does Not Envy! Are you jealous of who you married? Do you ever envy or resent your spouse?
Resentment runs rampant in marriages today, and it is literally tearing couples apart! You don’t want resentment to tear apart your marriage, do you?
So often I hear couples tell me how resentful they are of their spouse for one reason or another, but mostly over petty little things that only need to be discussed! Instead what are they doing? Getting even! Have you talked to your spouse today?
3. Love Is Not Self-Seeking!! This is a biggy! I talk quite a bit about selfishness in my book, “Journey on the Roads Less Traveled”, and in many of my articles. Why? I believe that it is a major issue with couples even though it doesn’t always seem apparent.
I know how a selfish spouse can tear the other down with them. I’ve been there and done that one. I wasn’t taught how to give of myself, being the spoiled little brat that I was growing up. I was so into “myself”, and so out in left field for my marriage, that is, until I found the love of Jesus for my life.
We all have some selfish abilities that we shine intensely on occasion. But some of us are so selfish in marriage that we don’t KNOW how to give of our self at all!! Many issues cause selfish behavior, but mostly it is lack of the spiritual Christ intervening in our psyche. What we allow into our mind is what we will output to others, mainly the person we married.
This is why I stress in previous articles that for a healthy and sound marriage couples need to take care of them selves FIRST, then and only then, can they help the marriage.
4. Love Is Not Easily Angered! Do you get angry with your spouse over nothing! Do you ever think that you might be behaving impatient and intolerable with your spouse?
What underlining problem might be charging your anger? If you are quick to anger, something deeper is bothering you. Until you get to the root of that, the anger will remain within your inner psyche ready to abuse whoever gets in the way. If you are abusing your spouse with your angry feelings, leave the house if you have to. It is wrong to berate your spouse with bad feelings of anger, and it hurts them terribly.
“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” James 1:19-20
“A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man, calms a quarrel.” Proverbs 15:18
6. Love Does Not Delight In Evil but Rejoices In Truth! This has to be the champion of all the aspects of love because if we followed this one simple principle we would not need any other standards to tell us how to love, or what love is. This straightforward verse speaks for itself, but for some of you, maybe you are not sure what the TRUTH is.
The truth is what will set you free from all of the above unpleasant aspects of your character, such as anger, resentment, envy, jealousy and strife. After all, these are only feelings that you carry around inside your head. You can either make them your life or find a new way of life.
If you want to be free of these feelings you need to find the truth, right? You need to KNOW the truth, right?
Deeply put, the truth not only sets us free from our weaknesses, but also makes us new people within that truth. Once we start applying THE truth into our life is when we can easily stop carrying around any bitter feelings, and negative attitudes that we may have.
Simply said, truth is God’s words of wisdom. We will be walking in truth when we apply God’s truth into our life.
Bottom line, the person who has wisdom is loving towards their spouse, faithful, honest, trustworthy, committed, trusts in God, puts God first, turns away from evil, knows right from wrong, listens and learns, and applies wisdom into their life and marriage.
“Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.
Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed.” Proverbs 3:13-18
And that is the truth! Do you have the wisdom to love who you married?
Angie Lewis offers spiritual enlightenment tips for couples in marriage, and is the author of new release book JOURNEY ON THE ROADS LESS TRAVELED.
This unique book is about love, life, marriage, addiction, temptation, and understanding the power of spiritual awareness for your marriage.
In her book, Angie reveals her own journey of overcoming addiction and how her negative emotions took over her life. To find out more about this new book click here, http://www.spiritual.journeybooks.4t.com/
Available Amazon online!
Angie Lewis counsels couples and writes a monthly newsletter. She reveals her secrets on how YOU can stay happily married for life!
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