Volume 4 Issue 29
Marriage Alive! Newsletter
True Marriage Healing
The Source of True Marriage Healing
Marriage Healing Books
The source of "true marriage healing" lies within the spiritual aspects of who we are. How do I know this? Because I've been to marriage counseling, and I have read all the self help marriage books, and because, I did all the things "they say" that are supposed to help you love who you married. But the reality of it is folks, there is no magic pill or potion you can take, and there is no person that is going to heal your marriage as it was intended to be healed.
He said, she said scenarios don't work, and neither will finger pointing and blaming one another. We can brow beat our spouse until we are blue in the face, and we can continue to have affairs just because our marriage is on rocky times, and we can listen to strangers tell us how to save our marriage, but I'll tell you what, it will not make us better people inside, so what use is all that?
What we want and need for marriage is to be the person God intended for us to be so we can have a better marriage. This is what Heaven Ministries is all about. Showing you ways that you can gain more spiritual awareness for yourself and marriage.
What have YOU done to change yourself. You don't really think that you are without fault, do you? You can't really blame your spouse for all your marriage problems and if you do, then you are not thinking realistically. I don't know what cloud you're on, but you had better come down and tend to your marriage.
If you want to be a healthier person spiritually, and even mentally, you need to enhance the spiritual side of who you are so you can grow into the loving individual God wants you to become, which is the whole and complete person you truly can be! We all have certain issues in our lives that hold us back from attaining the spiritualism that I am talking about. What is holding you back? That is the question?
In my book, Journey on the Roads Less Traveled, I reveal what held me back. It is my personal testimony of dealing with alcohol addiction and how it stunted my mental and spiritual growth process, and kept me from loving myself and others properly. I was up there on cloud nine most of the early years of my marriage. The book explains how I eventually came down off that cloud and grew up.
It is MY firm belief that to heal marriage according to how marriage was to be divinely inspired and healed, we need to fix ourselves FIRST! I don't care what most of the self help books say, I just know this to be true because I've been there! If our marriage isn't good, we need to seek out the resources from the source that is going to actually do something for it, right?!
Man himself can set forth a standard for you to follow based on the beliefs of society and they may even seem good and right but if they do not come from God what use are they, really?
Most man-made principles come from God but have then been twisted to fit into the standards of society, which can sound good and right. This takes great discernment on your part. What is right and wrong? How can you tell? Don't let it fool you; don't let people fool you into believing what your ears want to hear. Look for the fruit. If there isn't any, then what good is that for your marriage?
tends a fig tree will eat its fruit" Proverbs 27:18
If you originate from God, why are you looking to a mere stranger to heal your marriage troubles? God has told us what he wants for us to do for our marriage, but no one is following these precepts, not even those who call themselves Christian's. If you are sinning against the marriage in any way, how can you really expect the standards of society to save you from yourself? Society isn't going to tell you that being unfaithful is wrong, just as it won't tell you what is good and right for your marriage.
Society created the things that are tempting to us and wrong for our marriage. Immoral behavior and imagery is shoved into our face every single day and everywhere! God desperately wants us to put on His shield of armor and He will protect us from the evils of the outside world. This is precisely why we need to fix our self FIRST before we can fix anything with the marriage! We do this by letting God lead us not into temptation of society, but instead deliver us from all the evils of society!
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full body armor (figuratively speaking) of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." [Ephesians 6:10-13]
I certainly don't know everything there is to know about the mysteries of God, but I am learning every single day while I live in my body and stay married to the man I married almost twenty two years ago. Not a day goes by that God doesn't somehow and in some way reveal to me something new to share with others.
This comes out in weekly article writing and books. I don't just make this stuff up. It has to come from somewhere, right? It is my experiences. It comes from what I have learned while living for my marriage under the standards of Gods principles. My philosophy for marriage is not new - it comes from God. I still make mistakes and that is because I am human, but I think that I have come out being a better person for going through these mistakes and learning and growing from them.
I have dealt with personally many of the
issues most marriages go through in a lifetime, and sometimes my marriage
was a living nightmare. But I grew out and away from what was holding me
back, and I managed to heal my marriage with the help of biblical
principles. I didn't learn how to be happy and content with myself
by going to a therapist or a marriage counselor. And I knew that I
couldn't fix my marriage until I fixed myself first. I had to stop
drinking, and I had to start being aware of who I was as a person and
where I was in relation to being that person. Who am I? Well, I am a child
of God. My source for comfort, happiness and marriage healing lies then in
the seed God planted in my heart, which only needs to sprout and grow.
One day I decided I wanted to understand what having spirituality in my life was all about, and eventually, I accepted Jesus Christ into my life. His Spirit, the Holy Spirit is a part of my life now. This is not something anyone can hand over to you. Spirituality is something that you go after and attain on your own, and it takes time and spiritual effort. Your relationship with God (Jesus Christ) is unique and special and unlike anyone else's relationship with Him.
I have paid marriage counselors $100 an hour back in the late 1980's to tell me that it was my husband's entire fault the problems going on in my marriage. I hated paying the counselor the money for that day because as spiritual bankrupt as I was, I knew that my marriage problems were not all of my husbands fault. Like most couples, I wanted my marriage fixed in a day, and if I could have taken a magic pill, I would have. Instead I had to listen to the standards of a feminist tell me to leave my husband. No one told me that God can fix my marriage, so how was I supposed to know.
True Marriage Healing is not made in a week, or months, but is a gradual growth process that "EACH" partner makes within themselves. No marriage will ever be restored until "EACH" spouse looks at what he can do to change himself. Once this is attained, then and only then, can the marriage begin to be transformed. The big change comes through when we know who we are and what our purpose is. When we feel like our life has meaning, then we can start applying that purpose into our marriage.
Many people, when they feel like there is no value or importance attached to their life, that is when we they may go outside the boundaries of Gods precepts and search for substance through the establishments of society. Remember, look for fruits.
The goal here then is for you to change the way you value your marriage and to help it to grow in positive ways Marriage has lost its significance to people over the years, but it doesn't have to be like this.
Who are you? What is your purpose in life? The answers to those questions are where you begin your search for the true source of marriage healing
Below are three articles I have written that are all about what I have been talking about thus far. These articles are based upon God's principles and can be used for applying into your own marriage. I never twist God's word to fit into some standard of society because my own marriage in not based upon the standards of society but the standards of our Creator.
To my readers of the Marriage Alive! Newsletter:
So I can better provide you with marriage related resources, articles, books, and E-books, I would like for you to take a moment and tell me what you would like to see more of in the Marriage Alive Newsletters, and or, at the Heaven Ministries Web site! For an example, maybe you want to see articles on a topic that you are facing, or maybe you want to see more free ebooks for healing marriage.
I really appreciate you taking the time to let us know.
King David was old and stricken in years; and they covered him with
clothes, but he gat no heat."
When the weather turns cold, I start putting on extra clothes for warmth but sometimes I am still cold and have to get in bed and cover up until I get warm. It is the same with our hearts. Many times our hearts are cold with anger, hatred, jealousy, unforgiveness, and bitterness.
I tried to change my heart but it didn’t work. It takes the Cleansing Blood of Jesus applied to our hearts to change us. Jesus is the only One that can warm and change our cold hearts.
Sometimes I have to turn up the thermostat until the house warms up. We need to allow Jesus to turn up His Thermostat in our hearts so high that His Love will overflow to everyone who sees us or talks to us. There are many people whose hearts are cold with loneliness and despair. God can’t use us to warm others with the Love of Jesus unless our hearts are at the right temperature.
What temperature is the thermostat in your heart today? Is it on fire for Jesus, or is it icy cold from satan? If it is cold, allow Jesus to put His Thermostat of Love, Forgiveness, and Warmth in your heart so that you can warm others with the Love of Jesus.
November 30, 2005
This is a tasty and easy dish to prepare. If you're like me and don't want all that fatty bacon, try substituting Turkey bacon for the bacon in this dish, and it is delicious! This is a family favorite.
Prep: 15-20 minutes
On med heat cook turkey
bacon until cooked through but not crispy. Meanwhile, cook pasta.