Heaven Ministries May 2008

Heaven Ministries
May 2008
Issue 54

Marriage Alive! Newsletter

What's New With Heaven Ministries

Addiction blog

Free Marriage Support and Encouragement For Wives

Free Marriage Support and Encouragement For Husbands

Marriage Articles

Pocket Those Negative feelings

Are You Living The Marriage You Dreamed You Would?

Health and Well-Being Articles

Are You Sleep Deprived?

Does Your Child Really Have Attention Deficient Disorder?

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To Preview or Buy our Marriage Books Click here

Journey on the Roads Less Traveled

(Angie's personal testimony)

Journey on the Roads Less Traveled is a spiritual journey providing an avenue for people to change their lives through Jesus Christ in a way that is not commonly understood. The less traveled roads take the reader down a comprehensive and well-rounded foundational understanding into the biblical world of acceptance, beliefs, spirituality, feelings, marriage, children, family, forgiveness, temptation, faith, and finally prayer while applying the power of “real love” into all of the above elements. The book will challenge the reader to go a step further in their faith and beliefs by helping them to identify with all the aspects of their character, namely the spiritual element of who they are and can become. In her book, Angie Lewis offers the spiritual counsel we need to live at peace with ourselves, and have a closer relationship with God.

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Pocket Those Negative Feelings

Have you ever had a negative feeling about something and then acted on it? Almost everyone has at one time or another, but what about those persistent negative feelings that keep haunting you that you just can’t seem to get out of your mind. Just last week I had three women tell me they were not “in love” with their husbands anymore. Now can you get anymore negative than that?

As we all know being “in love” is a feeling. It is a wonderful feeling because being “in love” makes us feel excitement and euphoric with the person we are “in love” with. But what happens when the excitement and newness of the marriage ware off? What if we only love our spouse but do not feel “in love” anymore?

When the excitement winds down it can bring on the doldrums of marriage. That means it is time to do something about it, pronto. Why continue to cater to the lifelessness of your marriage? Do something about it. Many couples when they do not feel “in love” anymore automatically think the marriage is over, and then they act on that thinking. That is incorrect information floating around in your brain.

On the contrary when the marriage begins its stage of doldrums, as all marriages will at some point, it means it is time to bring excitement back into the marriage. Feelings are temporary and do not last. It does not matter if that feeling is one of excitement or of boredom. Since we know that feelings are temporary then we also know that our feelings can change. They can change from despair to happiness in a twinkle of an eye. All it takes is your mind to change it, and your actions to do something about it.

My suggestion for anyone who feels they are not “in love” with their spouse anymore is to put those negative feelings in your pocket for one week. Next, I want you to get to know the person you married all over again. You have to get to know them again because while you were wallowing in your feelings of not being “in love” anymore you lost touch with the person you married.

When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with your spouse? Let’s try that for one week. Meaningful conversation means to actually express your feelings and thoughts with each other in beneficial and productive ways. Be assertive about how and why you feel a certain way, but do not become aggressive with your conversation by finger pointing, blaming or accusing one another.

Don’t have anything to talk about, let me help you.

For the next seven days, everyday, I want you to sincerely and openly tell your spouse one character trait that you really like about them. There is no wrong answer here, all answers are right answers, but the answer will always be something kind and nice that you sincerely like about the person you married. Why did you marry them? Let them know.

For instance during your meaningful conversation, if you tell your wife one of the reasons you married her was because she was always happy and bubbly, expand on the use of those adjective words by using examples of some of the times she was bubbly and happy. Bring back out in the open the character traits you liked when you were first married.

Next, I want the “why I married you” character trait to be acted on by the receiver for the duration of the week. For an example, on Monday if your husband tells you that he married you because you were a happy and fun-loving gal then for the whole week do things that would bring out your happiness and perkiness for your husband. Think back, what did you do at the beginning of the marriage that maybe you are not doing anymore or as often?

This is not so much an exercise but a way to bring back the intimacy that was lost so you don’t feel “out of love” with your spouse. An exercise would be something that you really do not want to do, but this is your marriage and so you should be willing to work on what you can do to bring the doldrums backs to life, right?

Don’t forget, keep those “I don’t feel ‘in love’ with my spouse anymore” negative feelings in your pocket until the seven days are over. After expressing to your spouse seven reasons why you married them and you still feel like giving up on your marriage, then it is out of God’s hands – you have literally allowed your feelings to control the outcome of your marriage.

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Are You Living The Marriage You Dreamed You Would?

Are you living the marriage you once dreamed about? What would be your dream marriage if you were given a second chance to love? What would you do differently or what would you change? Do you think it is too late to live the marriage you once dreamed of with the person you are now married to? I don’t think it is too late.

Anyone can almost have anything they want just by having the right kind of attitude. For instance, if you’re not now living in a way you always dreamed of in your marriage, whose fault is that? What have you done consciously and subconsciously to sabotage your dreams, ideas, and goals? Have you gotten yourself mixed up in something you shouldn’t have and now it is keeping you from loving your spouse properly.

Is your attitude causing you to look at your marriage in a bad light? We make our marriage what it is by the attitude we have. I know that probably before you were married you dreamed about your knight in shining armor always being the perfect man for you in all instances. And you dreamed of your perfect little Cinderella to always have your world perfect for you. But this kind of thinking is what can get us feeling downhearted about our marriage when trouble comes butting its little horns.

Cinderella and Prince charming kind of thinking can consume a young persons mind and make marriage seem to be more glamorous than it really it. Not that your marriage can’t be glamorous, because if you want glamour you only need to make it. But lets face it, the romantic fairy tales we were brought up believing in is perfection and perfection is just not here yet, at least not in this world.

If you want your marriage to be a certain way, then pray about it and ask God if that is what is best for you in your marriage. Sometimes when we try and control the outcome of our marriage or control certain issues with our spouse, and the outcome is not what we expected, we get disappointed. This is precisely why we should pray about it and wait on God. God knows our heart completely and He knows what is best for us in our marriage.

Would it surprise you to find out that no one is living the marriage they always dreamed of? Because that’s not reality. What is reality is the fact that you are married and because of that you have a responsibility towards your marriage, and sometimes you won’t like some of those responsibilities. Does that mean we shouldn’t carry out those responsibilities? Of course not!

If you have dreams, ideas and goals for your marriage then by all means shoot for those things but don’t leave God out in left field while you are doing it. He is the pitcher and you need Him to help with the logistics of those dreams and ideas.

In other words, marriage is not just about you and the person you married but it involves an even bigger Life than you can ever imagine. When we dream out of selfishness, or when we believe our marriage should be some fairy tale existence, we become disappointed and downhearted. Then marriage isn’t fun anymore and we begin to look elsewhere for love. Your marriage can become the dream you want when you have Jesus Christ as the Spiritual head of that dream. Goals and ideas are wonderful to have when we include our Savior in those goals and dreams - without Him we are absolutely nothing.

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Are You Sleep Deprived?

Anytime our bodies lack an essential requirement for optimal functioning, such as sleep, we will experience loss of attention, indecisiveness, lack of focus, poor balance and memory. What happens when our bodies become sleep deprived over an extended period of time? Long periods of sleep deprivation could produce emotional, mental, and psychological deficiencies over the long haul; brain activity increases and can induce delusions and hallucinations.

Lack of sleep depletes our body's natural power reserves; that's why we feel cranky, irritated, nervous, anxious, and moody when our bodies do not get the normal amounts of sleep it needs to flourish. The body can heal and regenerate itself through the use of wholesome foods, vitamins and minerals, sufficient sleep, pure water, and any other components it needs for optimal health. We are accountable for filling those needs. We own our bodies and have to live in them every single day of our lives, and in that respect we should be responsible caregivers for what goes into our bodies as well as what is lacking from within our bodies.

The difference between a deficiency and illness is that a deficiency is easily remedied by filling up that deficiency with what the body is lacking. Over time a deficiency will progress into a mental illness or disease if we don't take care of that deficit. By that time, we must deal with a mental illness and or physical disorder, often suffering much physical pain and mental sorrow in the process. Why wait?

Are You Getting Enough Sleep? One way to tell if you are in fact sleep deprived is to find a quiet spot where you can lay down and just rest for fifteen or twenty minutes with your eyes closed - if you have not fallen asleep within that time you probably are not sleep deprived.

Most of us that experience sleep deprivation will do something about it before it gets out of hand and causes immune deficiency break down. But some of us do not listen to our bodies warning signals and before long symptoms that could have been easily restored, develop into disease and disorders that cause much more havoc within our mental and physical makeup.

In the table below I list some of the short-term symptoms of sleep deprivation and compare those to the long-term symptoms of sleep deprivation. Why wait until symptom progress into something uncontrollable? Take care of your body now before it's too late.

Short Term Sleep Deprivation
* Irritation and stress
* Apathy
* Lack of focus
* Inability to rationalize
* Anxiety
* Low immune system
* Accident-prone
* Dark circles and bags
* Moodiness
* Withdrawn
* Anger

Long Term Sleep Deprivation
* Nervousness
* Depression
* Lack of attention
* Hallucinations
* Panic Attacks
* Illness / disease
* Car or other major accident
* Noticeable signs of aging
* Temper tantrums
* Antisocial
* Violent outbursts

The symptoms described above are generated from the body's lack of a basic need - sleep. I do not think we should label sleep deprivation as an illness until the root cause of the mental deficiency has been reached. If sleep deprivation continues, and you discover you may have a sleep disorder, then it is advisable to arrive at the root cause of that disorder and rectify it through whatever means possible before it begins to affect your body and mind in a major way.

Causes of Sleep Disorders:

* Moving to a new city
* Changing jobs or careers
* Divorce
* Separation from a spouse or loved one
* Death of a loved one
* Anxiety and stress disorder
* Underlying fear
* Illness or disease
* Stressful lifestyle
* Lack of exercise
* Sleep apnea (snoring)
* Eating sugar before bed

The objective should be to repair and restore any deficiencies you become aware of rather than define it as an illness, where medications are usually administered that can then react negatively somewhere else within the body causing major physical and mental problems.

The good news is we can restore our body to ultimate health through the use of proper diet, cleansing, fasting, juicing, and sufficient exercise. We can still feel good, look great, and lead a active and fun-filled life if we take a little bit of extra time to take care of our mental and physical needs and listen to our bodies warning signals.

You are your body's best friend, be there for it, and be fit, active and happy. In the end it is between you and your body, God and your soul. Stay in touch with what you body is telling you, and you will in fact add YEARS to your life expectancy.

S w e e t d r e a m s!

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Does Your Child “Really” Have Attention Deficient Disorder?

Who do you trust and depend on for your health needs? Let’s take a look at just one issue in the field of health and find out. Where do you stand concerning you and your child’s health? Did you know that closed mindedness could be detrimental to your family’s health?

For an example: if a teacher told you that your son had Attention Deficient Disorder would you take their word for it? Would you rush your child to a doctor so he can be put on medications for this syndrome, or do you wonder if maybe all the sugar and processed foods might have something to do with his short attention span and hyperactivity?

Don’t get me wrong, we NEED doctors for certain physical conditions, but we do not NEED to act as if doctors are responsible for our total health. If you think like that, then why not call your doctor and ask him if it is ok every time you want to eat a candy bar or some ice cream?

Most people don’t realize how easily they can be made to believe a certain way because they have heard the same dogma about Attention Deficient Disorder over and over in the media that they begin to believe like the masses in that this syndrome called ADDS is a disease that cannot be cured and can only be suppressed with medications. This is incorrect information.

What is the correct information? The correct information is not usually what you would watch on the news or read in magazines. Some of its true, but it is not the whole picture, and a lot of it is media hype. All you really have to do to discover the truth is to wipe your mind clean of what it has been conditioned into believing for years.

Step back and take a look into the world and tell me what you see.

We see a world overloaded with sugar-laced foods everywhere you turn! Public schools have vending machines with all kinds of junk food to satisfy the taste buds. Kids and adults alike, are addicted to caffeine-laden beverages and other sugary soda pops. And then parents wonder why their children cannot focus on their studies or why they are having emotional outbursts, or why they are so hyperactive and doing things without thinking. This dilemma is not just the cause of sugar, but white flour, processed dairy products, hormones, chemicals, and the deficiency of nutrients in the body.

I certainly will not blame a deficient disorder on just sugar, but sugar has a lot to do with it. This syndrome should be Labeled NDD (Nutrient Deficient Disorder). Or better yet, SOD (Sugar Overload Disorder.)

Most children are deficient in the same minerals and vitamins because they are difficult to obtain from the foods we eat, such as zinc, magnesium, and iron. Did you know that a tablespoon of black strap molasses would supply your child with the daily iron and calcium his or her body needs? It must be “black strap”. Did you know that soda pops deplete the body of calcium and magnesium?

And then there is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. What’s that? Well it is the same thing we have been talking about except throw in a bit more hyperactivity into the mix. Our bodies just cannot take the constant punishment we put on it. After awhile our body and mind is going to tell us there is something wrong with our way of eating. These are our bodies warning signals telling us to beware of what we are eating on a consistent basis.

I know these things first hand because I have hyperglycemia (low blood sugar). I know when I overload myself with sugary treats and white breads and floury processed foods for just two or three days in a row -- I get overly emotional, cranky, and unable to focus my thoughts, jittery, restless and headachy. Should I go see a doctor because I am deficient in attention or because I am hyperactive?

No, I’m not going to go see a doctor. I can listen to my bodies warning signals, which tell me there is something wrong so I can change it. I don’t need a doctor to tell me I have a syndrome and then put me on medication – that would be wrong. I think I’d rather take responsibility for my health, and as a parent, I’d rather take responsibility for my children’s health too.

About 85 percent of the population has some form of blood sugar problem and do not know it. Instead they are running to the doctor not knowing what is wrong with them. They are told they are depressed, hypertensive, anxiety ridden, alcoholic, deficient in attention, too hyper, restless in the legs, impotent, insomniac, diabetic, overweight, bi-polar, and mentally insufficient, etc.

We go to the doctor and they say, “Here take this drug and you'll be fine." Do you really think you will be fine?

Does your child really have Attention Deficient Disorder or could it be the foods he or she is eating on a daily basis? You certainly do not have to take my word for it, do your own research on the effects of sugar on the body using these keywords together: depression and sugar and attention deficient disorder and diet and symptoms of hypoglycemia, and don’t forget about the foods with zinc, magnesium, calcium, and iron.

Become knowledgeable about your health and your children’s health by opening your mind to other possibilities. Take responsibility and be healthy!

(NOTE) Since writing this article I have also been reminded that children need at least 8 hours of sleep every night, and teenagers need at least ten hours of sleep because that is when they have the most dramatic growth spurts. When children do not get adequate amounts of sleep they do become sleep deprived and will exhibit most, if not all of, the symptoms of ADDS. So what does all of this tell you? Add together sleep deprivation to an inadequate diet and I believe one plus one does equal two. Just something to think about.