Had An Affair
Back Fidelity In Your Marriage
Can I Remain Faithful?
Society To Blame For Immorality?
the same as adultery?
Had An Affair?
Back Fidelity In Your Marriage
Can I Remain Faithful?
Society To Blame For Immorality?
the same as adultery?
Had An Affair
Many marriage issues offset immoral actions
between spouses. A husband might cheat for the lust of
the occasion and the temporary effect it brings, while a women
might cheat because she feels unloved by her husband.
There are dozens of foolish and petty reasons
of why your spouse might be cheating on you, but they all boil
down to one thing- foundational support directing the marriage
and where that support comes from?
From who and where do you receive your ideals
of what is right and wrong? What is acceptable and what is not
acceptable to you for your marriage?
Feelings of ill will towards your spouse
generates wrong thinking and creates unfaithfulness.
Unresolved issues in marriage create wrong thinking and the
longer a person contemplates the act of unfaithfulness and
imagines doing it, the easier it is for that person to feel
justified in their behavior when they are unfaithful. You
might conjure up all sorts of reasons of why you can cheat on
your spouse. Wrong thinking will rule the heart,
therefore it needs to be eliminated all together, lest you
This is the way of
She eats and wipes her mouth and says, "I've done nothing
wrong" Proverbs; 29:20
Here is how it happens. Adultery becomes
justified because of what you perceive to be a bad
marriage and you begin to blame your partner for your
transgression. Instead of trying to make amends and repair
the problem, you commit an act that is morally wrong. You
might say something like, "you made me have the affair
because you won't have sex," or, "I did it
because you don't talk to me and I feel unloved."
These statements might be true as you
perceive them and to justify your sin, but these issues did
not cause the infidelity. These issues are symptoms of the
problem. Cheating on your spouse is a symptom of the problem.
High or low blood sugar is a symptom of the problem. Addictive
drinking is a symptom of the problem.
The real problem is non-belief, the symptom is
a bad marriage.
When you continually tell yourself that you
have an unpleasant marriage and think about all the terrible
wrongs your spouse has done to you, not only are you on
a pity pot, but you will feel more and more justified in your
mind to act immorally against your partner.
While a deficient marriage can lead one astray
through wrong thinking, it is the lack of faith in God and
lack of commitment in the marriage that actually causes the
act of unfaithfulness. The marriage would not be
deficient if it was guided by a directive which consisted of
The causes of what might offset adultery are
endless and can affect each marriage differently depending on
the circumstances. Yet, the root of all immorality begins
with what the eyes can see, such as worldly views, actions,
internet, thoughts, environments and media, then acting
upon those thoughts. What one sees and hears, they believe,
which gives the justification to sin.
The foundation to all immorality in the world is not
believing in God. It is Him that gives you the faith and
conviction to set morally right standards for yourself, and
then finally bring those convictions into the marriage to
share with your partner. When you do this the marriage
establishes itself on a basis that is guided by the standards
of the Creator.
The world sets standards that are supported by wrong
thinking, therefore these standards do not and can not set a
firm foundation for yourself or marriage. Worldly views can
not set a system of beliefs that is morally right and they can
not set convictions that will keep anyone from doing what is
The world is full of immorality-often thrown into your face
and what you continually see and hear becomes morally
acceptable in your heart. Finally your belief system is made
up of these outside circumstances rather then from God
and that is where the problem lies. It is your belief
system that establishes your convictions in life.
God did not say it was okay to be unfaithful. He clearly
says that adultery is a sin. Yet the world is the promoter of
adultery! If the world promotes sin, then the world is not
directed by God, but directed by something else.
Temptation develops through wrong thinking that has and is
continually developing in the world. The problem is that
people aren't evil, they just don't know any better and
conform to what they see. Monkey see, monkey do.
Since God will not validate unfaithfulness, you will look
for validation somewhere else. Infidelity is socially
acceptable, politically correct and promoted in the world of
men. And as long as the world is where you look for your moral
principles, you shall surely fall into temptation, even when
you know it is wrong!
The worse thing, you can do for your marriage is to sit
every night with your spouse and watch degrading, twisted,
ungodly and heathenistic comedy shows on TV! And parents allow
their children to watch this garbage!
The world can not protect your marriage. You are in effect
handing your marriage to a stranger, "here is my life,
tell me what to do," who then dictates for you your
moral standards of what you should believe.
You need to personally ask God to cover you and He will
give you the elements you need to stay strong and away from
the temptations of the world.
The old saying, "out
of sight, out of mind," rings
a loud chord, since God is out of sight, many have
forgot what is the Truth (right and wrong). Society
throws itself in your face all day long with it's
lustful temptations and creates desires that are
sinful and corrupt.
You can block out wrong thinking by accepting God's view of
what is right and wrong, (truth). You must realize what
is important for you in the marriage and what your position in
the marriage will be. Even when you are having conflicts with
your spouse, you can block out bad thoughts by choosing to
accept who you are, (child of God) and where you came from,
The world did not make you. The world did not tell you who
you are and what you can become. God created the special
person you are, so then why do you keep looking to the world
for acceptance of yourself?
Society to blame for immorality?
Because the world is made up of millions of
different thinking people, it is not the fault of the
individual who is in the world, but who conforms and goes
along with the vast new liberal views that continually become
more and more corrupt. Obviously this tells me that there are
more liberal and ungodly individuals in the world then morally
conservative individuals. Minority rules!
In general, the world is corrupt, it is true. Yet not every
individual in society is corrupt. The world asks for what it
wants. And it is continually in need of new scandals, shocks
and late-breaking news to keep it entertained. The world is
bored and looks forward to something new to traumatize it
daily. The world has lost sight of the natural conscience of
man and what is real. As a whole the world just is what it
is. But as individuals in the world, great potential
remains, these individuals just don't know it.
It is the responsibility of the individual to disconnect
themselves from the views of the world and to connect to their
spiritual self. It is the individual who has a personal
relationship with God, no one else can know the mind and heart
of another, therefore as an individual, you should begin
utilizing the spirit of God within yourself and begin living
to live again. You, in essence help the world more by
utilizing His spirit and becoming an example to others of what
is right and wrong.
Since the world can not be changed and religious sects have
not facilitated in it's morality, you must look for the
solution to the problem within yourself. The Truth lies within
the spirit God has given you, that is where all truth can be
It is the responsibility of the parent to not let the world
be thrown into their child's face and it is the responsibility
of the parent to be the example for their
children. If the individual would take their responsibilities
seriously, the world wouldn't be what it is today!
When you commit yourself to acting upon what God has
given you, and utilize the tools He has given you,
everything else falls into place and individual moral
character comes naturally.
The good news is, you can ask God for guidance and
understanding when you feel tempted into an immoral situation.
But just asking through prayer is not enough. Faith must be
applied to those thoughts and prayers so when you act upon
them, you are doing it on faith. Faith is a tool, God
What did you think about this article?
Bring Back Fidelity
In Your Marriage
Forgive your partner for their weakness.
Understand and realize, it probably had nothing to do with
you, as much as they would like to blame you for it.
Be willing to share in the commitment of
what you started. That means to remain married and
work through your problems.
Share with your spouse, your thoughts and
ideas of your personal relationship with God, So you can
better understand what roles you both will establish in
Be willing to position yourself in your
marriage with the importance you deserve.
Trust in God for Truth so you can firmly
plant your marriage on a Godly foundational setting.
Utilize your beliefs with passion to their
full potential through your convictions and realize how
important it is not to stray from the marriage bed.
Fear what God has established rather than
(When we follow the leader, because of fear of what
someone thinks about us, we shall surely fall into
Acting upon morally sound convictions confirms
your fear of God and is absolutely more powerful than any
temptations that come from the world. Because of your faith,
God will help you to not be tempted and will help you to love
your spouse through the natural giveness in your heart.
Any problem areas in your marriage can be
worked out through that giving up of yourself, which is a
process that establishes itself through learning to give
yourself up to the "Will of God", instead of
acting upon your own will.
Pornography The Same As Adultery?
You have heard
that it was said, "Do not commit adultery. But I tell you
anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already
committed adultery with her in his heart."
Pornography has snuck into our homes like
Satan did with Eve in the Garden of Eden, tempting even the
purest of heart.
There are a few really bad apples out there
who have chosen to throw this garbage into the faces of
individuals who might have never thought about viewing it.
The problem begins when a person is tempted
into viewing pornography and applies any moral ethics they
have on a foundation that is in error. The world view of
morality is in grave error. If you base your belief system on
something that is sinful, you will be sinful.
You may say, "but one time won't
hurt," but it does hurt. It hurts yourself and your
loved ones tremendously.
From what I have read on the subject, which is
many hours of research, I have found that most opinions differ
from mine in that they don't believe it is the same as having
the physical affair. I disagree with that assumption for
1. Lust is an unhealthy and sinful desire that takes a person
away from that which is right and good. It does not matter if
it is lusting after strangers on the internet or a fleshly
body in a secret place. To yearn for the flesh of another
person other than who you are married is wrong thinking
taking over your soul and eliminating the natural goodness
that resides in man.
not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate
you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of
and the adulteress preys upon your very life. Proverbs
2. If the act of adultery is
wrong, then so is the intention. It is considered
mental adultery and thus a sin! To be faithful to your
spouse with your body, but not your mind is to break the trust
that is so vital to marriage.
Pornography is easily justified in the minds
of those who view it. They have broken a code of ethics
to validate in their minds that it is okay to view it.
Pornography, for many is more justified than the physical act
and if they get caught looking at it, all they have to say is,
"well, at least I didn't have an affair."
This kind of thinking is wrong and is denial. Denial is
the opposite of acceptance. If you can't accept that what your
doing is wrong then you are in denial. The internet only
enables those who are tempted to continue in their addiction.
is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should
avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to
control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not
in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God.
1Thessalonians 4, 3-5
Viewing Pornography and getting off on a
temporary rush is only a symptom of a greater problem. Lusting
after the flesh of heathen strangers is bad enough, but this
lustful desire also defiles your body and your marriage. It is
the same as having a physical affair.
can I remain faithful?
The power to rid yourself of temptation and to
remain faithful comes from what you believe. Therefore
it does not rest in you alone but in your Creator. If you have
been unfaithful it is because you do not have the foggiest
idea how to utilize the tools (gifts) God has given you.
Loyalty to ones spouse is a part of the giving process
that you learn through allowing God's love and forgiveness
into your heart and mind. When you accept what the
Truth is, you can actually give of yourself and do it
freely. It's really that simple. Accepting is on
the same line as humbling oneself. If you humble
yourself to God, the one and only true director, you are
giving yourself to God. Once you actually release your
errors to God there will be no more temptation.
Ok, so you made a mistake and had an affair, but you can
pick yourself right back up and start all over anew. Just
because you were weak once does not mean, you are a weak
person. You are what you believe to be true.
If the world seems true to you, you will believe what the
world says as truth and will probably be weak again. When you accept
God's love for yourself, you will understand why you are in
the world and that you do have a purpose in life and for your
marriage. I believe God wants all His children to be good,
morally upright examples, not only for our own families, but
for strangers as well.
Before, when you did not know God, you did not have a firm
position to place your beliefs on. You were confused like a
lost puppy who can't find his way home. You did not have a map
to help you search for the lost treasure. You probably didn't
even understand why you were unfaithful and so maybe you just
remained in error. You were a part of what society says
is acceptable. Which, on the opposite end is what God
says is not acceptable. As I said earlier, when you accept
what you see in the world as truth, you tempt yourself into
adultery, which is not truth, but a devilish lie.
A person can be strong in the Lord, but societies strength
comes from something else. The foundation that holds up
society does not come from God.
The remarkable thing about faithfulness is that when you
are faithful to your spouse, you are not only giving up yourself
to only your spouse, but are giving yourself up
to the will of God!
It is God's will that all marriages be built
upon the rock of loyalty and when you remain steadfast and
loyal to your spouse, even through the hardships, you are
allowing God to give you the understanding you need to remain
faithful. By trusting in what God says for your marriage, you
are less tempted to stray from the marriage, whether in the
physical act or through pornography.
On the opposite end, when you trust in your own
understanding of what you
think to be right for your marriage, you will
inevitably fall away from righteousness and come under the
spell of disillusionment and begin living from what you have
accepted in your heart as truth from the view of the world.
As an example of where you might try and find
truth from the world is through reading a worldly view
magazine. But now, not everything you read is based on a
spiritual idea or holy example. If you happen to read an
article about "being unfaithful in a Glamour type
magazine, they won't even mention the power of faith or that
God exists. Adultery and immoralities are promoted by these
type magazines. The editors select authors opinions and views
by what the people want to hear and believe, and that
is all about it. People want to read that it is okay to be
unfaithful and they will continue on reading that garbage so
they can gain MORE validation to become unfaithful! Do you get
The world preys upon each other for validation
- forgetting that God exists. For the young people who are
still trying to find themselves, getting caught up in a world
full of lies is absolutely horrible to say the least.
If a person has no understanding of who God is, they will
have no moral and ethical control over what they do in life
and no standards to base any spiritual beliefs or convictions
upon. They will go through life guided by their own
understanding of what they think the truth is,
instead of looking for where the truth originated.
If you or someone you know has been unfaithful, it is not
because they want to be unfaithful-they know it is wrong, it
is because they don't know how to use the potential that God
gave them. Because they don't know God through acceptance,
they don't know how to use the holy spirit that resides within
God gives you tools to use to help you stay upright and
moral. One of these tools is faith. When you apply faith
into your life, which comes from your belief in God, your
heart and mind begin to understand the purpose of why you are
here, why you are married and how important your marriage
really is to you.
Society does not apply godly standards for it's directive,
therefore society in general is unable to utilize the
potential of faith. That is why it is so corrupt as a whole.
The world has not accepted God as the Truth. As a matter
of fact, the world, through every device possible is trying
very hard to delete God from the hearts and minds of
individuals in the world. That would be you and me. Let's
not let them control our minds and tempt us into sin.
Therefore, you must stop looking to society for the
answers. Faith comes from believing in what you can not
see with your eyes, bringing those beliefs into the heart and
acting upon them with passion.
Having and utilizing the power of faith is an individual
matter that is gained by your own personal relationship with
It is not to late to come out of Sodom & Gomorrah. You
do not have to base your opinions and thoughts on the ideas of
sinful character. You can find your way home, just ask.
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