What Do Couples Need From Each Other?
by Angie Lewis
What does a wife need from her husband? I canít
answer that question for all women, but I do know what I need. I need my husband to be supportive of my endeavors and ideas.
I want my husband to realize that the marriage does not center only
around him and what he needs, but on what we both need. I want for my
husband to make time for me. I want to be put on the top of his priority
list, after God, and not on the bottom. Does that sound selfish? Itís
not selfish when you know that he gets the same treatment from me.
I want for my husband to enjoy spending his time
off with me and so I often encourage fun and creative things to do
together when he does have the spare time away from work.
I have to remember this, though, if I am not acting on my
marriage obligations the way God wants for me to, I should not expect
that my husband would be too happy about it.
So then, I shouldnít take advantage of my husbandís loving
kindness or take our marriage for granted. Because my first priority
should be my husbandís happiness, right?
I believe God has put me where I am at for a
reason. I have been blessed with the man I married because that is who
God put before me 23 years ago. I didnít change the course of events
to marry the man I married, because the events became the course. In
other words, I did not put a gun to my husbandís head and tell him to
marry me or else. What became yesterday is what is today.
Not that we cannot change or improve on our marriage, but that we
ought to be content with the person God has blessed us with.
Once we get rid of the idea of divorce and we get
rid of the bad attitude is when we can begin to reflect upon who we are
in the marriage and begin living our God fulfilled purpose. Once we get
rid of the selfishness we can start to fulfill the roles and
responsibilities that have been given to us when we got married. But we
cannot get rid of these ideas until we choose to follow Gods plans for
our marriage. We are the ones who fail marriage. Marriage does not fail,
We fail marriage because we give up. We give up on
God and we give up on what we can do to change ourselves. Youíve heard
the saying; patience is a virtue, right? Well, we have given up on
patience because we feel that time is running out. Time does not run
out, but people do. The
messages from society run amok and tell us to do things that are not
from God but from selfish desires and arrogance. If that is who a person
is than they have every right to continue listening to and believing
those messages. But if you are a part of Godís family then you have
your own messages to listen to.
Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise
but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are
evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lords will
is. (Ephesians 5:15-17 NIV)
I know what I need from my husband. I need to know
that he is devoted to our marriage that we started 23 years ago. I want
him to accept me for who I am, because I cannot guarantee that I will
never make mistakes. I need to know that my husband would never act on a
bad attitude, turn against me, and ask for a divorce like many spouses
in marriage do. Because what is that?
That is not a marriage, that is people being wishy washy with
each other, allowing feelings to control the outcome of the marriage.
I believe a husband needs the same thing from his
wife. A man needs his wife to respect his position in the marriage above
everything else. If a man is allowed to be the man in his home, then
everything else should just fall into place like clockwork.
ÖHowever, each one of you also must love
his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:33 NIV)