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Beauty of The Imperfect Marriage
Is there such a thing as a perfect marriage? Are you living in an idyllic marriage with a perfect spouse? The newness and euphoria of a new marriage is what I call the storybook relationship. The relationship is going great because both husband and wife are doing things to please each other. You know about each other’s faults but you don’t seem to care. The romance level is at a peak, which keeps you both attentive to each other’s needs. But what happens after two or more years of marriage? Eventually habits and faults and self-seeking escapades come out in the open. Now what? Well, that’s just it. Now what? The problem is not that your spouse has faults and habits, or that you have faults or habits, the problem is that neither of you seek The Master Designer of marriage for the answers you need. You try and handle your marriage issues under the understanding of what you know. What do you know? You know that your feelings tell you negative things about your spouse. Your feelings tell you that your marriage problems are your spouse’s fault because you don’t have any faults. Your feelings tell you to stand proud and not humble yourself. I’m not talking about troubles such as physical and mental abuse, or addictions, I’m talking about just day-to-day quandaries within the framework of the marriage. If you can’t forgive then you aren’t accepting the person you married. This is one of the reasons for the high rate of divorce. Couples just give up because they don’t want to feel what they feel about their spouse. Ironically, you are making yourself feel bad because you won’t forgive. No person is perfect, as a matter of fact; we are very imperfect individuals no matter how hard we try to be perfect. This is why we have to work at our marriage. This is why our imperfections cannot stay hidden for long. This is why God brought us His Son to the world! So we could learn to be patient with one another and forgive. Marriage is the one relationship that craves forgiveness almost daily. If Jesus Christ has forgiven us with all of our imperfections and sinful habits, how much more should we forgive the person we married? Did you know that when couples learn to humble themselves to God that is when they learn to humble themselves to the person they married? Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13) If we don’t want to work at being a loving and forgiving person, then we shouldn’t get married. Our spouse is imperfect. Nothing on this earth is going to change that imperfection, so we ought to strive to love one another through the bad times as well as the good. This is what marriage is all about. We are never going to be perfect people, but we can work at being better marriage partners by accepting the forgiveness and love we have been given through the suffering and death of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. This is what actually heals a person’s heart to be patient and forgiving in an imperfect marriage, and to be loving and supportive with an imperfect spouse. In Jesus we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace. (Ephesians 1:7) If marriage were made perfect we would never have to forgive our spouse. If our spouse were perfect then Jesus Christ would not have had to suffer and die for our imperfections. But as it is, married people should choose to forgive one another and live according to God’s will for marriage. Marriage can be a very satisfying relationship when couples choose to be supportive with each other and forgive. That is the beauty of the imperfect marriage. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it.” (Isaiah 30:21)
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