To Talk To Your Alcoholic Husband About Sexual Intimacy
Are you married to an alcoholic and feel taken
advantage of in the bedroom? Some wives are letting us know they are
offended and disgusted by their sloppy drunk husband during sexual
intimacy. Many wives do not want to divorce their husbands but rather
want to work on healthy detachment instead. So if you are trying to
detach but need to talk to your husband about this important issue then
read on to learn when is the best time to talk to your husband and what
to say to him.
This is a sensitive subject, and one in which most
wives of alcoholic husbands do not want to discuss with their husbands.
Most wives of alcoholics report to us that they almost never enjoy sex
or intimacy with their husbands after they have been drinking. Sadly,
your husband is not really ďthere in the momentĒ when he is drunk
and consequently lack of intimacy becomes a problem when married to an
alcoholic. This is a sad situation, but a reality when married to an
alcoholic, especially one who is in the later stages of alcoholism.
Itís ok to talk with your husband about this
issue, but be ready for disappointment if he canít keep his promise to
you. Even though you let him know ďhow you feelĒ and they make
promises to you of not drinking before having sex, they may break that
promise. If they could keep promises they make to you then drinking
would not be a problem for them. But the reason they break their
promises is because alcohol is a problem for them!! So be prepared in
case the alcoholic drinks and canít keep his promise; thatís all
When you talk to the alcoholic about this issue
make sure he is sober. Donít make him ďpromiseĒ that he wonít
drink before you make love, but tell them to at least ďtryĒ to work
on not drinking before lovemaking. You shouldnít feel embarrassed to
talk with your husband about this issue because sexual intimacy is a BIG
part of marriage and one that truly needs to be communicated if there
are problems. Just think, if you donít tell him he will never know how
you feel. Be open and honest. Donít nag or complain but just tell him
how you feel. Express yourself nicely and assertively. Be sensitive to
your husbandís feelings too. Donít say anything offensive that will
make him want to start arguing.
Let him know that when he drinks too much and wants
to make love that it is a turn off for you because of their sloppiness
and selfishness. Let him know you love him and want to feel close and
intimate with him but canít because he is too intoxicated and only
wanting to gratify his own needs. Then explain to him that you would
like to set aside two days a week when you can be together sexually,
when he has not been drinking, not even one drink. For some couples
early in the morning before getting up works well. Agree upon the days
and the times together.
And remember, you arenít telling him he canít
drink, you are simply letting him know that you need and want him sober
for one or two hours on those two days a week that you both agree upon.
Understand that you will have to do this if you want things to change in
the bedroom. Always remember donít expect much and that way you
wonít be disappointed.
If you are the alcoholic reading this article then
please bear in mind that when you have sex with your wife when you are
drunk, you are most likely turning your wife away from you in disgust
because of your sloppiness and self-seeking behavior. This will cause
resentment and you donít want that. It would be to your advantage to
accommodate your wife sexually and emotionally and to have sex with her
when you are sober. Even an alcoholic can control when they drink if
they set their mind to it. Your wife is not asking for too much from
you, so you should work with her on this.
Married To An alcoholic: Invasion of the Body
Snatchers ĖMust watch video!!
How To Detach From An Alcoholic eBook: http://www.heavenministries.com/paypalebooks/Detachfromalcoholicspouse.htm