How To Love The Woman You Married
Copyright 2009 Heaven Ministries ~ Angie Lewis


God created the sexes equal and yet they each have different temperaments, personalities, and behaviors that compliment one another. The best way to love the woman you married is to understand those differences. Your wife likes it when you express your feelings to her, rather than keeping your feelings bottled up.  She wants details from your heart and mind, not curt yes and no answers. You’re not with the guys anymore when you come home from work. Be there emotionally for your wife. Be her best friend. Make her want to come flying into your arms when you walk through the door.

A woman feels closer to her man when he talks about himself and can openly discuss issues within himself. Tell her what is bothering you. Don’t hold stuff in and get resentful over it. Emotional and psychological infidelities are caused from the lack of emotional intimacy between couples. Always keep the communication lines open between you and your wife. This will keep the marriage intimate and active. When couples stop talking, that’s when to start worrying.

I don’t care how long you have been married your wife still wants to hear the words “I love you” every single day. Many wives want to be held by you for at least one full minute every single day. She wants to be “shown” your love for her by your manly protection of her. Do not be intimidated to exert your God-given headship position in the marriage. That is what God made you for. This is actually the proper way to love and care for the woman you married. Be her man so she can be your woman.

God gave the male sex the instinctive ability to be a protector of women and children. The captain always goes down with his ship, or is the last one off the ship. Where are you in your marriage? First or last? You should put your wife’s well being above yours. You’re the captain and she is your first mate. She comes first!! 

Your buddies, your work, your sports, hobbies, or your parents are not your first mate – your wife is. Be considerate, always of your wife and her feelings, even if you disagree. Let her talk without you interrupting. First listen and be appreciative of her opinion and then speak your opinion. But never negate your wife's feelings, that's not right.

When a man puts his own Captain first in his life he will not have any problems respecting and loving his wife in the ways that are meant for him to love her. In marriage there will be some days when your wife may get overly emotional, dramatic, cranky, or talkative. So what! Let her be. Don’t put her down by telling her she is emotional. Grin and bear it instead. Are you the captain of your ship? Don't become a chameleon because your wife is having two bad days in four weeks, be gentle and kind with her, always with a smile. She will love you for it.

Don’t take your wife’s emotions personally. Usually all she really needs is your understanding and support of her feelings. Give her a back massage and take the kids for the day. And remember that a woman’s hormones tend to get a bit wacko during ovulation and “forty something” women may behave more emotional than normal because of perimenopause. This I know for a fact. The herb called Black Cohosh works great for this, by the way ladies. Call your local health food store and see if they have it, or you can buy it online. It really works on the temperament.

Make your wife the center of your attention. Make her feel important in your life every single day. Always communicate your thoughts, ideas and feelings with the woman you married. Yes, women can get emotional sometimes, work with her, accept it and move on.  Remember, marriage is all about team work. Make sure you appreciate all that your wife does, and do your part around the house too, whatever that may be. 

If your wife works out of the home, know this...a man who can push a vacuum and cook is a real man in any woman's book. Be your wife's best friend. But even more important than that is to be her man! You can read the companion article to this one called How To Love The Man You Married and ask your wife is she read it too.

Be completely humble and gentle, be patient bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:2-3)

This book is available as instant download and hardcopy