How To Love The Man You Married
Copyright 2009 Heaven Ministries ~ Angie Lewis      


Do you love the man you married? What is a priority in your marriage? Is it doing whatever you want by living the way you want and getting what you want when you want it?  Or do you and your husband both agree or disagree on important issues and problems that affect the marriage? When we disregard our husband’s protection and decisions for us then we are basically living our own life. This surely doesn’t mean that a husband has the right to disregard his wife’s feelings either and do whatever he wants. It works both ways.

Do You Reject Your Husband Sexually and or Emotionally?

When we get married, we’re not daddy’s little girl anymore. Well we are, but we now have a new responsibility-to be a good wife to our husbands. When we get married our life is now with our husbands. Most men want to be respected for their position as the man in the marriage. Loving your man is regarding him with respect and reverence just because he is your husband. Really listen to your husband when he speaks. He wants to know you are genuinely interested in him and what he has to say. Remember to always do fun things together. If you have children family time is great, but married couples also need time alone away from the children.

I do realize there are many good wives out there who treat their husbands with respect, but I think there are just as many who don’t. Why do we disrespect our husbands? It is mostly because we take them for granted. Loving the man you married is not about getting your way all the time. It is not rejecting your husband sexually or in any other way. Just because a woman doesn’t feel like having sex doesn’t mean she should deny her husband. This works both ways too. Biblically speaking a man or woman should not keep their bodies away from one another, except for a time, so as not to bring on temptation.

Are You Respecting the Man You Married?

Respecting the man you married is not constantly nagging and complaining to him over minor issues and circumstances going on around the home because you feel the need to control or have power over him. Some wives do this often and don’t even realize they are doing it. Husbands don’t even realize this is happening. Then we wonder why our man strays from the marriage. Is it because we are devaluing our man’s position in the marriage? I should think so.

When you feel yourself wanting to gain some aspect of control over certain issues, stop and ask yourself, “Is this really worth arguing with my husband over”? Take a deep breath and relax. Understand that there are, and will be, many, many things you do not have control over. The more we believe that we can change something to fit our needs better, the more we get disappointed when nothing changes. Marriage takes a team effort. Your job is to only worry about your effort...if your husband still is not putting in his part, then lovingly tell him so with a kiss and a smile, but don't disrespect him! Where is that going to get you?

What Can You Change In Your Marriage?

We must have the understanding and wisdom to know “what we can change”, and the courage to change only those things that we can actually change.  I know for a fact that we can change our own attitude and we can change circumstances that we have created. We can influence our husband’s in a loving, humble way, but this doesn’t mean to control them or change them.  There is a difference. We really can't change people without them becoming resentful, but we can change circumstances that we created, and of course, we can always change ourselves.

Marriage is not that difficult when we learn to let our spouse just be. We really ought to worry more about what we are doing that could be detrimental to the marriage relationship rather than watching the faults of each other. When couples constantly nag at each other about faults and such they are not being emotionally encouraging for one another but rather discouraging. This kind of behavior between couples is why infidelities happen. Encourage each other! Encourage your husband!

Loving the man you married is about taking the time to understand his feelings. Letting him talk about how he feels, even if he is being vague about those feelings. He wants to trust you and he wants the assurance that he can trust you with his feelings. Husbands can be vulnerable too, especially if his feelings have been belittled, scoffed or denounced in the past by his wife. Can he trust her? Treating your man this way is a sure-fire way to get him to clam up on you.

If You Are Married To A Good Man Give Him The Reins -- (a good man loves his wife and would at least be trying to be a better husband to his wife. We have to remember that no one is perfect and never will be, not in this life anyway.

Loving the man you married is giving him the reins for a while and letting him steer the boat. No real man likes to be the back seat passenger in his own boat. Let your husband lead the boat to where he wants to take it. How about not bickering and negating your man’s feelings. Learn to trust the man you married. Give in for the sake of “giving in” and for respect and love. Work together to make the marriage all it can be through the encouragement of each other.

If you are married to a Good man you shouldn’t feel intimidated handing over the reins to him. The truth is there are more than 101 ways to love the man you married and you only need to practice one way to be a loving wife the rest of the 100 ways. And that is to respect, in every way, the man you married. See the companion article to this article. How To Love The Woman You Married


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