How to Forgive When Someone Covets Your Wife or Husband

Heaven Ministries ~ Marriage Healing Ministry


First, lets get the definition of ďcovetĒ out of the way.  To covet means to desire what belongs to another. As we all know coveting another manís wife or another womanís husband is seriously wrong, even if it were not taught in the Word of God it would be gravely wrong! Deuteronomy 5:21 specifically tells us to not covet our neighbors wife or anything that belongs to our neighbor.

When a man or woman desires what does not belong to him or her such as when a man desires a married woman, he is coveting another manís wife and I believe coveting the marriage. When a man or woman looks at a married person lustfully (with desire) they are coveting. So in retrospect this means they have already sinned in their heart even BEFORE adultery has taken place; because of wrong thinking in their heart they are controlled by sin before it happens.

Understanding Forgiveness

Forgiving otherís who trespass against our marriage is difficult but something that Christ asks us to do. One huge reason why we are to forgive is because we live in a depraved world, and if we do not learn forgiveness we will constantly feel resentful, angry and bitter towards others. One way we can begin to understand forgiveness is to put ourselves in the other personís shoes for a moment. We may not have tried to seduce another manís wife, but we still have sinned. Would you want to be forgiven? Do you want Jesus to forgive you your sins?

Another way to understand forgiveness is to realize that those people who try to seduce another mansí wife or vice versa are spiritually sick peopleóthey do not have the faith in Christ to give up wrong desires of this world and no hope in their hearts for salvation, What this means is they have not yet TRUSTED in Christ enough to give up THIS LIFE for a new life with Him! They still need spiritual healing.

For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; (Titus 2:11-12)

The fact is when you forgive others who have trespassed against your marriage you show how Christ is working in your life, because true forgiveness cannot be achieved without the workings of the Holy Spirit. When you forgive, it helps the sinner come to Jesus Christ.  Think about this for a moment. Could unforgiveness prevent someone from turning their life around and seeking Christ? Absolutely it can!

Christ Ones are Godís chosen vessels to use for the purpose of bringing sinners to Him. If your life is not controlled by sin (slavery to sin) then you are chosen to bring others to Him through your righteous example; perhaps that is through your forgiveness. This is one way in which God uses us for His Kingdom. You were bought at a price (Christí death) and for a purpose!! The only reason anyone can truly forgive others is because they have already been healed through Christ. Christ Ones have been given the power (Holy Spirit) to forgive others who covet, seduce, look at lustfully or otherwise trespass against their spouse/marriage.   

Have You Really Forgiven?

How will you know if you have really forgiven or not? Well, if you have not forgiven your heart will surely let you know because you will feel anger, resentment, jealousy, and much pain and suffering because of the sins of another person. Letís take a look at why you need to forgive and why you may not have forgiven.

* If you still feel like throwing stones at the person who coveted your spouse it means you still need spiritual healing yourself. Harboring anger and resentment are sure tell-tells that you have not truly forgiven. Ephesians 4:32

* If you want to forgive but are finding it difficult it means you have not put your faith and trust with Christ to help you forgive. Remember you alone do not have the spiritual resolve to forgive-Christ empowers you with the Holy Spirit so you can forgive. Ephesians 1:7

* Weíre all sinners, even you. If we canít forgive others how will Christ forgive us our sins? Mark 11:25

* Forgiveness influences others to seek Christ because when you forgive they see Christ working in you.

* Seek Godís will for your marriage and He will give you the knowledge to protect your marriage under His spiritual truths and wisdom.

Through wisdom is a house built: and by understanding it is established. (Proverbs 24:3)

Stay tuned for (Part 2) How to Protect Your Marriage From Covetousness


How to Love Your Spouse! Christian Culture Teaches Lust, Not Love!


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