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Angie's
Marriage Column ~ October 17, 2007
I have been married for 10 years this Saturday. I was not a Christian when I got married, and neither was he. I am a Christian now, however my husband is not. I am not sure what I am asking or if there is a question. I just am not sure how to be married to someone who is not a Christian. It seems like we are constantly fighting and are not able to work things out. I want my marriage to work and I love my husband very much but it seems to be getting harder and harder every day. Marriage
Guidance: I suggest that
you try and focus your thoughts on yourself and God and not so much
about your husband’s unbelief. The more we try and get someone to
believe the same as we do, the more they will run away from us! The best
thing you can do is to know in your heart that you are trying to do the
will of God and therefore continue doing what you know to be right and
true as a believer. When
we want something so bad we tend to “control the situation” or we
try and “control the way someone feels or thinks” but what happens
is we usually get let down because we’re trying to control an outcome
so much that we become obsessed with it. I think that is where you are
at with your husband. You want him to be a Christian so much and because
he won’t you have become resentful and disappointed. All
you need to do is “let it go” by giving it to God. Believe me, the
minute you take the burden of your husbands faith from your shoulders
you will feel so much better. It is not your responsibility to make your
husband believe in God, but it is your responsibility to take care of
your own faith in God. If you undermine your own faith in Christ by
arguing with your husband than it is time to let it go. Pray
about it, and ask God what it is that He would have you do. In other
words "be" the person that Christ Jesus wants you to be
according to your faith, abilities, talents, gifts, and calling, etc.
Live what you believe and your actions will lead your husband to Christ
when he is ready. I
want you to know that even though your husband is not a Christian God
still considers your marriage sanctified. This does not mean that you
can save your husband. It means that through the marriage relationship
and the actions of the believing spouse, the husband or wife may come to
be a believer and become saved on his or her own. So the wife should not
divorce her husband and the husband should not divorce his wife. LIKEWISE,
“ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that if any obey not
the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of
the wives. (1 Peter 1,2 KJV)
Let your husband "see" Jesus Christ working in you by your loving actions. Stay faithful and pray every day about it.
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