The Delusions of Marriage
Copyright © 2007 Heaven Ministries - Angie Lewis

We’ve all seen the movie Pretty Woman starring Julia Roberts and Richard Geer about a prostitute who quits her life of indiscretion and finds true love, gets married, and apparently lives happily ever after with her prince charming. It was a good movie, but it is pure entertainment and that’s all. These romantic type Cinderella movies bring up visions of true marital bliss but it is an illusion that deceives the mind. 

The truth is many of us women were just like Cinderella at one time in our relationship when we were euphoric in love with the man we were about to marry, and sooner rather than later, trouble reared its head, and our fairy tale illusion was destroyed. We should never be delusioned into believing that our marriage won’t experience marital qualms. Life does not work like that. God knew that marriage would be difficult at times, and that is why he left us with the power of the Holy Spirit. Believers have the support of God’s design to base their marriage on. So then what’s the problem?

The problem is people get deluded by believing what they see in the world as fact and then base their marriage upon that. If it is not of God it cannot be applied to your marriage. The fact is the only truth for marriage is what God already established for marriage. 

Experiencing a happily ever after marriage is not so far fetched, but it does not get carried out by kissing a frog, or a prince but by kissing the person you married and continually working on being giving, compassionate and caring. All marriages take work. My marriage takes work. Sometimes I want to be selfish and do things that would only please me. But I know better than that, in the end it is more trouble than it is worth. 

By behaving selfish it will do more harm to the marriage than if I have to sacrifice something for the man I married. It does help to know that the person you married is also giving up something they enjoy for your sake, but it is not the reason to be considerate and respectful of the person you married. What this does is show us that the person we married loves us!! And the reason to be considerate and respectful towards the person you married is because YOU CAN and because it is the right thing to do. 

Think about this for a moment: If Jesus Christ can love us enough to sacrifice His life, than we as believers of that fact should be able to be considerate marriage partners. Spiritual effort, that’s all it takes. 

“Principled acts” of love do take effort but so does fussing and fighting and holding in anger and resentment. The difference is “principled acts” of love take spiritual effort while fighting and fussing take selfish pride effort. What’s takes more effort, pushing your weight around and controlling the outcome of an issue or applying principled acts of love? I can certainly tell you this, pushing our self-seeking weight around causes stress, which in turn causes illness and disease. But when we apply “principled acts” we actually feel good inside mentally as well as spiritually, and that improves our outlook on the marriage!

“Principled acts” of love would be doing what is right in the eyes of God and your spouse by taking responsibility and being accountable for your actions. It is the key to living the Christian life as a married person. By applying “principled actions in your marriage you will be fulfilling your purpose in the marriage because you will be loving your spouse in the same way Christ loves you, unconditionally. 

…Because we know that suffering causes perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. (Romans 5:3,4 NI