|Marriage Alive! Newsletter|
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God made them male and female for a reason. 1) To give and receive sexual pleasure in marriage. 2) To bear children for the Lord. 3) To compliment one another in marriage. 4) To show the example of Christ and the church—marriage is the living symbol of Christ and the church. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. He nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. (Ephesians 5: 28-29) And this is the way marriage should be.
In what ways can a husband show
his wife that he loves her? In what ways can a wife demonstrate her love
for her husband? Loving someone means much more than words can say.
Showing our love is much more sincere than telling our love. Anyone
can say “I love you” but not anyone can “show love” because loving
someone takes effort and sacrifice. This is why scripture says, “Love
must be without dissimulation”. If
you are ever confused about what love is ask yourself, “Am I truly being
loving by doing this, or is the person who is giving love to me showing
When a husband shows his wife
that he loves her it doesn’t necessarily mean that what he is doing is
something that he wants to do. What it means is he is sacrificing
something of himself to show love for his wife. As an example, when a
husband shows love he may give of his time with the children and allow his
wife free time for doing something for herself. He doesn’t have to do
this, but he does it anyway out of love for his wife.
A husband can show his love for
his wife in many ways. He may rub her feet while they watch television
together. He may cook dinner for the family, or clean the house, or tune
and oil her car for her to make sure it is safe for driving. He may take
her out to dinner and to her favorite movie, even though the movie is not
one he would have picked out to watch. He may bring her breakfast in bed
Some husbands show their love
through protecting their wives. A husband may make sure his wife does not
answer the door to strangers if she is home alone. Or perhaps he does not
have her drive at night to go shopping by herself. Or perhaps he buys her
a handgun and shows her how to shoot it for self-defense. When a husband
asks his wife to not dress in skimpy or revealing clothing, he is
protecting her from men thinking lustful thoughts about his wife! Whatever
it is your husband does to show his love for you, this is love. Remember,
circumstances are different in every home.
When a husband loves his wife in
the ways of God he is accepting his headship position with the importance
it deserves. Some husbands may not want their wives to work outside of the
home, which is actually the ideal situation for peace and harmony for the
whole family. When a husband takes his position seriously he will be a
good guide and have family regulations in place of how the household is
going to be managed and what is permissible and what is not for each
member of the family, including his wife. If a husband does not love, care
for and protect his wife properly then he is not really loving her.
When a wife shows her husband
her love, she does it out of respect of his headship position. Sure, a
wife can rebel and not respect her husband as the man of the house, and
many wives do just that, but this is not the way God designed marriage to
be. Some women balk at the idea of a man’s protection for her. It’s
because they have been raised to believe that they don’t need a man to
protect them. They have the “I am woman, hear me roar” kind of an
attitude. Sadly 75 to 80 percent of women, even though they are married
are or will be victims of some kind of abuse, whether it is sexual
harassment from work, rape, beaten and robbed, or murder. And sometimes it
is by people they are acquainted with from where they work. Some wives
confuse a husband’s protection as being controlling. If in the end what
your husband is asking you to do is something good for you then how can
that be controlling? Women have made a mockery out of “how a husband is
to love his wife”!
The bible tells us that a
husband is to love his wife and the wife is to be respectful and submit to
that love. Understand that this is what love is! Love is not sex. Love
is not that giddy feeling you had when you first met your husband. Love is
giving of yourself, even when you don’t feel like it!
Do you think Christ felt like
suffering and dying for the world sins? No, he asked God if there was any
way to take the cup away from Him. “O my Father, if it be possible,
let this cup pass from me, nevertheless not as I will, but as thou
wilt.” (Matthew 26:39) Jesus knew what he must do and what the
Father's will was, but if it be possible, He asked.
Christ suffered terribly. Christ went through a brutal several hours before his death. That’s love! So then how much more is it to show our love by doing nice things for the person we are married to? We're destroying God's marriage because of our selfishness. We can't suffer just a little bit, instead we divorce and don't even try restoring our marriage to God?
But look what Jesus has done for
you! Couples, because they don’t know what love is are destroying their
marriage and making a mockery out of God’s will for them in marriage. The
picture of love in marriage is sacrificial love from the husband and a
wife who respects her husband’s headship position through submission.
She is his helpmeet.
“Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” (*Ephesians 5:25) Wives, submit yourself unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. (*Ephesians 5:22 and 24)
***The bottom line is when husband's and wives do not love one another according to God's design for them, they aren't really loving one another. How Should a Husband Love His Wife and a Wife Her Husband?
Many people claim Christianity
and yet many of these same people are not behaving very Christ-like.
Scripture talks a lot about the contrasts of believers and non-believers.
It says, “For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the
flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.”
(Romans 8:5) This scripture doesn’t mean we won’t sin, it doesn’t
even mean that we won’t be tempted. It is showing us the difference
between the lives of believers and unbelievers.
Where is our heart? What are we
living for? What is our purpose in life? Are
we storing up treasures for heaven or do we only care about today and what
we want and how we feel? “For to be carnally minded is death; but to
be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity
against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can
be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.” (Romans
What does it mean to behave
Christ-like? Well, not to offend anyone but if we truly claim to be
“of Christ” much of Christian culture would have to undergo a radical
transformation. Ask yourselves, where are these Christians coming from
that make up Christian culture? From the Christian churches! But Jesus
Christ is not sincerely worshipped and revered in these churches as the
head of the church. There are a lot of lackadaisical attitudes, hypocrisy
and dissimulation in the Christian churches and culture of today.
Modern Christianity is scary.
It’s scary for those who are truly seeking spiritual truth. For many,
when they seek truth, they are given the wrong message, and are deceived
into living their lives in ways that are not of God. Many things such as
dating seem good and the right way to find a life spouse but dating is NOT
scriptural. Wearing clothing that is revealing may look nice on slim
figured young women, but is NOT scriptural. Women disrespecting their
husbands spiritual guidance for them is NOT scriptural.
The long list of “it’s ok”
to do in Christian society is “NOT ok” according to the WORD of God.
It’s almost like the churches are reading a different bible! But we
know, it is the same bible, so then what is wrong? People are not
listening! The Word of God has turned into a fairytale in the minds of
those who are not hearing the Word. They are only hearing what their ears
are attuned to hearing. More and more people are listening to feel good
preachers, those that preach what people want to hear because no one wants
to be told how to live. Scripture talks about this: “For the time
will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own
lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; and
they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto
fables.” (2 Timothy 4:3-4) Wow!
What is the church? The church
of God is not the church you go to every Saturday, Sunday and or
Wednesday. “The Church” is God’s people! The church of God is NOT a
building. God’s people make up Christ’s Church! God
wants the people to worship Him in Spirit and in Truth, which is what is
inside of our heart and mind, not religious symbols, nor rites and
ceremonies, nor the things inside of a church building.
There is nothing wrong with
going to church IF you already know the truth about the
spiritual Christ in your life. But if you are soul searching, or if you
are confused, or if going to church is not filling up that missing aspect
of your life then going to church is not where you are going to find God.
God is omnipotent, meaning He is everywhere! Jesus
says, “I am the way the truth and the life and no one comes to the
Father except by me!”
Did you know that dating,
feminism, public schooling, women working outside of the home, religion,
voting and politics, divorce, materialism and Christmas are not something
that a sincere Christian should involve themselves with. It may not be a
downright sin to vote or to date, or for a woman to submit to another man,
but these things lead us away from serving, loving, and pleasing God.
Being divorced causes us to remarry, which is a sin. How can we “train
up our children in the way of the Lord when they are going to public
school? Christian mothers are supposed to be home training up their
children in the Lord, not sending them off to a strange school. This is
one way she is a helpmeet to her husband!
How can a woman who claims
feminism also be a Christ-follower? This is a true oxymoron. Voting for a
public figure to come into office and celebrating Christmas are idolatry,
and they both take us away from what is true and right for our lives. We
all know that sexual perversions, idolatry, adultery, greed, pride, and
having an angry and bitter heart all come from those who profess to be
Christians, but are these things Christ-like? NO, they aren’t
Christ-like, so then how can we claim to be living for God when we are
not following Him?!
Yes, we all sin because no one
is perfect, even the best of Christ-followers accidentally sin from time
to time. This is why we have grace and mercy from Christ. Praise God that
Christ chose to die for our wretched lives! Sincere Christians are
forgiven when they sin. Do you know why? Those who truly follow Christ
are already dead to sinning with intention—they live by faith and put
their trust and hope in Jesus Christ. But if we sin intentionally or when
we choose to not follow His principles, because we live by faith in
ourselves, do you think we are forgiven for that? I don’t think so. We
are not forgiven for not having faith in Jesus Christ! This does not
please God. We have to live our life pleasing to God, not contrary to God!
If we repent with sincerity in
our heart and turn our life away from sin, we will be forgiven. But if we
continue to live our life as if the Word of God is a legend, there is no
forgiveness. We have to choose forgiveness for ourselves by living lives
that are pleasing to God! Christianity is something you do—it is a
lifestyle. So take a look at your lifestyle, pray about it, and ask God to
give you wisdom to know the truth and the guidance to put your faith in
Him, not in the flesh. It all boils down to “faith”. Where you faith
is, so there also will be your heart.
A nice Christian woman asked me
if she could remarry because her husband divorced her. Sadly, I
explained to her what Jesus said about divorce and remarriage. “NO, you
cannot remarry because that would be a sin”. God wants us to reconcile
with our spouse or else remain unmarried. But the churches teach it’s ok
to remarry. They teach it’s ok to divorce your spouse. The Christian
culture of today is out of control and leading this new generation down
the same path full of deception and dissimulation!
Someone commented on one of our
videos titled “Wifely
Submission” Here is what she said: ”There
should be no "man of the house" there should be "the man
and women" of the house. The man should not be the leader nor the
women, it should be equal.
I don't think that I should have to submit to my husband on anything. I
think that it should be a team effort
to make things easier on the both of us.”
You would think this comment
came from a feminist, wouldn’t you. But actually she is only 15-years
old and is already confused about her womanhood. She’s too young to
“be” a feminist because she lives at home, but in her heart she is a
feminist, and sadly she will never truly be happy NOT being the lady God
wanted her to become. She has already been conditioned to believe a
certain way by her mother, who is also confused. She will never find true
love because a man of God will not marry her, or if he does the marriage
will be very difficult for both of them. Marriage has one captain. A
marriage with two captains will have many problems down the road, as many
of you may already know.
The bottom line is are we
following Christ or modern Christianity? To be Christ-like means
Christ must already be living in us as the Holy Spirit, and His Spirit in
our lives helps us to consciously and subconsciously follow Him. If we are
following our own desires and pleasures it means we are living carnally
minded lives, only looking to please ourselves. Ironically about 80% of
the people living in the US claim Christianity, but according to the ways
of modern Christian culture, the real number is much lower at about 10 to
15 percent of Christians actually following Christ and living spiritually
But ye are not in the flesh,
but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if
any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. And if Christ be
in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of
righteousness. (Romans 8: 9-10)
Talk is cheap. We can claim
to be any thing and be any thing to any one, but God knows our hearts and
eventually everyone will see our fruits. If our lives have nothing to
show for our so called Christian walk then I think it is time to honestly
review our faith in Jesus Christ and seek out the error of our ways, if
not for those we are supposed to be loving then for our God, the Father
who loves us and created us with a purpose; to love fully and to be the
whole and complete people for Him.
“THERE is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Sprit of live in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death”. (Romans 8:1-2)
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