Marriage Alive! Newsletter

Marriage Articles

God Created Women in Special Ways

The Man Who Would Not Lead His Family

Special Report

1) What Does The Bible Say About Feminism?
2) Should a Christian Be a Feminist?

God Created Women In Special Ways

Women have many special qualities about them that make them the beautiful creation that God made them to be. But the quality that stands out the most is the power to influence. The woman is the key to a happy and peaceful home. If the woman of the home is not happy or at peace, neither is the home front. She can influence her husband in good ways just by a shift in attitude and thinking.  A mother influences her children every single day by what she does with her own life and how she treats her husband.  

A woman’s power to influence can be used in many great and wonderful ways or it can be used to be downright destructive. Take a moment to reflect upon this. How did sin come upon the world? Through Eve, right? She ate of the forbidden fruit. Then what happened? She influenced her husband to eat of it too. She talked him into it! And he ate. She certainly didn’t have to do much influencing there, did she?

Eve’s power to influence Adam was used in a destructive way. She didn’t have her faith and trust in God. She didn’t believe with her heart and soul. Instead she allowed her selfish desire to get in the way of her faith and she ate from the forbidden fruit. She turned her back on what God had told her and did her own thing instead. Not only that, but she influenced her husband to be destructive with her.

Women are remarkable souls with quite a bit of influence in this world, which can be used for the good of all. Children need the feminine influence of their mother and they need their mother and dad to get along well and produce a fruitful and joyous life together. Women can do mighty things with their intuitive minds; such as understand people, cultures and the world around them with wisdom. Women seem to grasp spirituality with ease but on the other hand can also be spoiled rotten and selfish at the drop of a hat.

The way a woman influences others is dependent on what she accepts as truth.  A woman can let her belief in God influence her, or she can allow her selfish desires to influence her like Eve did. Which is it going to be? Who influences you?

In her home the woman is the key to peace and happiness. Her influence wields the greatest amount of power on how that home is going to be managed. Not that the husband doesn’t have influence in the home, because he certainly does, but for this article I’m only referring to the woman of the home. If she is influenced by the life-giving power of Christ she will most likely radiate her joyful spirit on the rest of the household.

The bottom line is where does she get her influence? What does she read? Who does she regard highly? Where does she get her answers to life’s difficulties and decision-making? What does she believe? Where does her faith and trust come from? These questions will have an effect on what kind of influence she is as a wife and mother.

Some women tend to believe lies that reinforce their own selfish personal beliefs. Today, more than ever, women need to be careful about the input they allow to form their beliefs.  This life is totally bombarded with unwholesome values and beliefs that are totally opposed to what the Bible says. Be careful about what you allow to form your ideas and opinions. 

They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator – who is forever praised. Amen. (Romans 1:25 NIV)

The Man Who Would Not Lead His Family

“My husband won’t lead the family in bible study or prayer. He won’t even discipline the children. What can I do?”

“Is your husband a Christian?”

“Oh, yes.” She replied.

“Have you talked with your husband about how you feel?”

“Yes, I have told him until I am blue in the face about his lack of support in the home.”

“Well, that’s the problem. You’re "telling him" what he should do rather than allowing him to appreciate what his God-given responsibilities are on his own.  When a wife is bossy or naggy with her husband it makes him feel like a child. But he isn’t married to his mother. You should allow your husband to lead in the way that is most comfortable for him; let him feel in control by letting him be in control”

“What if my husband doesn’t want to participate in his God-given responsibilities in the home?”

“You said he was a Christian, right? He needs to know that he can trust you. A wife is a husband’s right arm, not both arms.  A man needs to feel accepted in his humility before God. Don’t try and undermine or control him. Maybe he has never spiritually led the home before because you have always done it for him. Your husband wants to be taken seriously. He knows what his responsibilities are. Let him meditate on those things without speculation and interference from you.”

“What about the children?”  She asked me.  “I have two rebellious teenagers who need their father’s discipline and protection. Someone needs to counsel them.”

“You’re right about that. Your children are at an age where others can easily influence them. And of course, you want to impress on them the grace, mercy and love of Christ. So right now, you will need to counsel your children about the big bad world out there. 

“I don’t know if they will listen to me.” She said. 

“Stay focused in your prayers on what God can do for you and your family. Stay faithful and believe that God does hear your prayers and will answer them in His way. He will not allow anything to happen to your children that they themselves cannot handle on their own. God will answer your prayers because you are His child and He loves you.”

“I will try and do what you have told me.” She replied.

“Keep praying for your husband everyday. It could be that your husband has repressed his spiritual influence in the home for some reason. If that is the case, he needs reassurance from you about his headship position. I would encourage you to be humble, compassionate and submissive with him as he tries to listen to what God is asking him to do. Your husband will find his calling.  But he won’t if you boss him around or if you treat him like a child.”

“Calling?”

“A Christian husband’s true calling is to lead his family in the wisdom and knowledge of God. Everything else is secondary, even his career. What’s the use being a Christian if you aren’t going to share what you know with your family and teach them to follow in the ways of the Lord? Christian’s are to serve others by helping them to see the kingdom of God here and now.  Christian’s have been given spiritual gifts and we are to use those gifts for the glory of God.

“What if a man isn’t married and doesn’t have any children?” She asked curiously.

“If he is a Christian, then he is to lead others in God’s wisdom and knowledge in whatever serving capacity he has been given by God.”

“But, what if he doesn’t know what that capacity is?” She asked.

“It may take some time for him to figure out what his spiritual gifts are, but a true Christian man will eventually come to find his place with God and serve according to what God has led him to do using those gifts.”

“So are you saying that leading means to serve?”  She asked.

“Yes, exactly! That is what I am saying. You lead your family as a mother and wife every single day. When you discipline the children you are leading them to do what is right and good. When you respect and honor your husband and his position you are actually leading him to become the man of God he was meant to be. A wife is a leader in her own right”

“Wow! I never thought about it like that before.” She said in wonderment.

“Be Shepard’s of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers – not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve, not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.” (1 Peter 5:2,3 NIV)

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What does the Bible say about feminism? Should a Christian be a feminist?

As a Christian woman, this question is especially important to me. Does the Word of God address feminism? The modern concept of feminism was not present during the time that the Bible was written. That does that mean that the Bible has nothing to say on the basic issues of feminism. Even when the Scriptures seem to be silent on something that affects us today, there are eternal principles that speak to the underlying issue.

What are the issues of feminism? Feminism is a counterfeit solution to the real issue of the inequality of women in a sinful society. Feminism arrogates to itself the right to demand respect and equality in every aspect of life. Feminism is based in arrogance and it is the opposite of the call to the born again believer to be a servant. The actions of the modern, militant feminists of the last decade were geared to cause women to rise up and rebel against the order that God has given to mankind. That brand of feminism seeks to impose humanistic solutions that are in direct opposition to the Word of God. Feminism was originally a positive movement, focused on giving women the basic rights God intends for every human being to have. Tragically, feminism has gone past those roots to now focus on destroying any trace of a distinction in roles between men and women.

What then should be the view of a Christian about feminism? A believing woman, who is seeking to obey God and walk in peace and grace, should remember that she has equal access to all spiritual blessings in Christ. "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28). A believing woman should not allow herself to be a pawn in the worldly agenda of the feminist movement. Men and women have a God-given privilege to fulfill the plan that God has set for us. Rebellion against that plan, and arrogance that seeks to put self above God's Word, results in self-inflicted consequences. We see those consequences in the destruction of the relationship between husbands and wives, the destruction of the family, and the loss of respect for human life.

"For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world" (1 John 2:16). The principles of the fall are present in this verse. Eve believed the lie that eating the fruit would bring her wisdom. She lusted and she took or arrogated to herself something that was forbidden. This is the basis for the movement of feminism. Women have bought into the lie that feminism will bring them what they want, what they think that they "deserve." However, the promise is empty for the premise is based in pride and pride goes before a fall. "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall" (Proverbs 16:18).

In the last decade there has been the rise of a society that is so concerned with political correctness and so sensitive to being "offended" that civility has lost its way.  However, this is really nothing new for there has always been inequality in this world. It is sad but true that artificial barriers that have no basis in God's Word have always divided humanity. There is only one race, the human race! With in that human race we have male and female, different ethnicities, different colors, and different national origins. However, we are all of the same God created human race. It is sin in the heart that causes inequality. It is sin in the heart that causes men to treat women in ways that are meant to demean. It is sin that sets one person above another. And it is sin that seeks to use counterfeit solutions to counteract these inequalities. The only true cure for inequality is obedience to God's Word. If men and women would walk in obedience to God's word, feminism would be unmasked for what it is, and the harmony that God has ordained for the relationship between men and women would be the result.

  I hope you have enjoyed this issue of the Heaven Ministries Newsletter! Take care. God bless!

Your Comments and questions are always welcome.   

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