Loving Spouse With Wisdom
What's New at Heaven Ministries
There are two ways
we can love our spouse. We can love under our own understanding of what we
think love is, or we can love the way God has directed us to love. I think
we all know how to love, but doing it is a whole different matter.
What is the
difference between the two? The first way of loving is a condition and
learned way to love, which is selfish and self-seeking. We don't know we
are behaving selfishly because we do not know any other way to love.
The second way of
loving is what comes naturally because we have loved and accepted God into
our lives first. The reason it's so natural is because we have recognized
and utilized the spiritual Christ in our lives, which makes loving a
natural process of who we are.
It is very
difficult to love another if we are only thinking about ourselves. Some
examples of how we love our spouse selfishly are, committing adultery,
being disrespectful, using controlling behavior, using negative feelings,
becoming resentful, becoming ensnared in an addiction, and the list goes
…and many false
prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of
wickedness, the LOVE of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the
end will be saved. Matthew 24:11-12
False teachings and loose
morals in society have caused many couples to become bitter and
apprehensive when loving one another. Society has lost the value of what
real love is and it has tainted couples into sinful behavior. As we all
know sin dampens our love for God by turning our focus on ourselves. You
cannot truly love your spouse if you only think of yourself.
Husbands, love your
wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make
her holy, cleansing her by washing with water through the word, and to
present her to himself as a radiant church without stain, or wrinkle or
any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way husbands ought
to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves
himself. Ephesians 5:25-28
A Husband should be willing to sacrifice everything for his wife
just as Jesus Christ sacrificed everything for us. Do you think a husband
who loves God will be able to make his wife the most important aspect of
A Husband should make his wife's well-being of prime importance. Do
you think that if a man accepts Christ into his life he will know how to
love, protect, provide and care for his wife properly? God will give him
the answers he needs.
submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the
wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the
Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also
wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24
you can see from scripture, both husband and wife are called to submit.
For the wife, this means willingly following her husband's leadership in
Christ. For the husband, it means putting aside his own interests in order
to care for his wife properly. This means doing whatever it takes to
protect, provide, love, and care for his wife under the "spiritual
authority" given to him by God.
a husband does not accept the "spiritual authority" of God, then
he has no justification to think that his wife submit to him the way God
intends for a woman to submit to her husband. Obviously they are not
basing their love under the foundations of Jesus Christ, but under their
own understanding of what they think love is, and this scripture,
therefore, does not apply to them.
is what couples tell me. They want to do what is right for their marriage.
They usually want to stay married to each other and
they are usually upset and furious over the iniquities and faults of the
problem is couples are basing their marriage upon worldly views,
attitudes, and thoughts, and the fact is, as long as they continue to do
so, they will continue to have difficulties loving their spouse properly.
When we are not motivated by love, we become critical of our spouse. We
stop looking for the good things in those we love and only see their
can all talk about how to love and we know what the bible says about
loving our spouse, but what about doing what it says! Bottom line is real
love takes effort, and if the willingness is not there to work on marriage
and to love our spouse with the love that comes natural, couples will have
good news is you can love your spouse naturally and wholly by recognizing
and utilizing the foundations of God's design into your relationship and
working off of that for your marriage.
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Romans 12:9-13
A study of 150 couples showed that women who are hostile during marital disputes are more likely to have atherosclerosis, as are men who behave in a dominating or controlling manner.
Researchers asked couples to discuss a sore subject that would trigger a fight for six minutes while being filmed. After tapes of those conversations and comments were reviewed and evaluated, patients were given CT scans to determine how coronary artery calcification affected their health, if at all.
Domineering behavior increased the risk of clogged arteries by 150 percent for men. Women who were hostile had double or more the number of cardiovascular blockages.
The men whose bodies showed the least amount of atherosclerosis were those in relationships in which both spouses could discuss a problem without being controlling.
who routinely trade nasty or controlling remarks during marital spats
might be harming their hearts — and not just emotionally, a study
The findings fit in with a body of research suggesting that hostile and domineering men and women are at risk of developing heart disease, the No. 1 killer in the USA.
"This kind of anger can be bad for the heart," says Redford Williams of Duke University, an expert on anger management. Williams and others have shown a link between anger and heart disease.
Researcher Tim Smith of the University of Utah and his colleagues brought 150 married couples into the lab and asked them to pick a subject that often triggered fights.
The list of risky subjects included in-laws, finances and household chores. Couples were told to discuss the topic for six minutes while the researchers videotaped the talk.
Some couples had calm discussions, but others had spats filled with hostile or domineering remarks. The most hostile couples probably have fights at home that are even more volatile, Smith says.
Researchers then watched the tapes and rated each comment for the degree of hostility or control.
All men and women also were given a CT scan that looked for deposits in the coronary arteries, the vessels that supply the heart with blood.
When those vessels are clogged, a clot can form and trigger a heart attack.
The team discovered that:
• Wives who made a lot of hostile remarks had double the level of clogged arteries as those who discussed matters in a less hostile way. And the clogs were even worse for women with husbands who returned the fire.
• Husbands who made lots of domineering statements or those with a wife who displayed such behavior had arteries that were 1˝ times more clogged than husbands who were not in controlling relationships.
Smith, who presented the team's findings on Friday at the American Psychosomatic Society meeting in Denver, said men and women who were rated as hostile said things such as "You are so stupid." Those who were termed domineering made remarks such as "You need to try this my way."
Such remarks are thought to trigger a stress response, one that keeps blood pressure high long after the fight has stopped, Smith says. That stress response may damage the blood vessels in a process that leads to clogged arteries, he says.
Couples can learn to interact in a kinder way when discussing hot topics, Williams says.
Couples who stop and listen instead of immediately firing back a nasty barb might end up with a better relationship and a healthier heart, he says.
Here is a little bit of tidbit news that we all need to be aware of.
that car thieves have found yet another way to steal your car or truck
without any effort at all.
Every single day, without fail, Joanne Lowe sends me a daily devotion right in my email box. Because of Joanne, everyday, I am reminded of how much I need Jesus in my life. I often get so busy during the day with all there is to do, that I would be afraid that I would forget to tell Jesus how much I love Him. Thank you so much, Joanne for thinking of me with your thoughts, prayer, and love.
If any of you would like to be on Joanne's mailing list and receive her daily devotion in your inbox every single day, please don't hesitate to email her at her email below and she would kindly add you to her daily email list.
HE’S ALL I NEED
the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought,
and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and
like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.”
woke up at 4:30 this morning with this song in my heart “You’re all
I need. You’re all I need. Jesus,
You’re all I need”. I have been singing it softly
to Him and then louder and louder with a rejoicing heart. Indeed,
Jesus is all I need! It is so nice, however, that He
gives us people who love us to make us happy.
I had no material possessions, and just had enough food to keep me
alive, it would be all that I need. Even if I had no
one who loved me, He still would be all that I need. However,
in His Loving Wisdom and Tender Heart, He gives us people to love and
people who love us.
today you feel that nobody loves you and that you are completely alone
in this world, I tell you on the Authority of the Word of God that Jesus
Loves you with Unconditional Love and Mercy. This
verse says that He will satisfy us in drought. Many
times in my life, I have had very few groceries at the end of the month,
but He always met my need. He has never failed me one
time, and He never will fail me.
times we have an emotional drought in our hearts and we feel so alone,
it is then that Jesus fills our hurting hearts with His Peace and
Comfort. His Lap of Love is big enough for the whole
world so if you are hurting, climb up on His Lap and allow Him to kiss
away the hurt and pain as only He can. He will put a
new song in your heart and give you a Peace you have never known.
March 29, 2006