Vices and Virtues in Marriage:
Why Am I Jealous? by Angie Lewis
Have you ever had to deal
with a jealous husband or wife? Most marriages at some time or another go
through a period of mistrust and jealousy when their spouse does something to
merit mistrust. Maybe they flirted or maybe they had an affair or it could be
that they didnít do anything at all to warrant distrust.
More often than not when a
spouse is jealous of the other without merit it means they do not trust them
selves. If they donít trust them selves they usually are jealous, suspicious,
controlling, and insecure. This can be a living nightmare for the spouse who has
to take this sort of abuse. But it doesnít have to be like this.
Ask your self. Why am I
jealous? Why do I not trust my spouse? What have they done to merit my
suspicions of them? Maybe you have good reason to feel the way you do. But more
than likely your misgivings about your spouse have gotten out of hand.
We need to be honest with our self about the actions we take in life. The
heart of the matter is, we either trust our spouse or we donít, there is no in
Where does trust come from?
Having trust for your spouse is not just a feeling but an action as well. It is
through our actions that we show our spouse that we trust in them.
It means we feel confident and assured enough to regard them with our
trust. Trust is actually a great
virtue of character that a person holds.
Everyday and everywhere the
issue of trust comes up, not just in marriage. Sometimes we just need to trust
people otherwise we might not accomplish our goals in life, or believe with the
faith that we are supposed to. There might be times when we will need to regain
back trust for someone who has hurt us and this entails that we hold the virtue
of trust within our character.
In marriage, unless
otherwise merited, trust should already be an established commitment by both
spouses. Without trust and faith in marriage there would be so much insecure
behavior floating around such as, distrust, doubt, suspicions, lying, jealousy,
possessiveness, and control issues that divorce would even start to sound good.
Divorce over the issue of jealousy and mistrust?
It is important that
couples get to the bottom of why a spouse feels suspicious of the other. I can
tell you what I think and youíll probably shrug it off. But I have to tell you
anyway. When we do not know who we are, we have no purpose or connection to the
source of who we are, we tend to live upon our own feelings, ideas, beliefs, and
such; those things become our purpose, which is to gratify self. We donít have
any real wisdom and understanding as to why our feelings make us feel bad or why
we do the things we do.
In a peapod we are
connected to self and what our feelings tell us, and disconnected from our
source and what our source tells us. But our source is where our life giving
spiritual food and water come from. Our source is where we learn to grow out
from the selfish person we are and into the loving person we were meant to be.
The inability to trust our
spouse stems from the lack of Christ in our life. It is really that simple. We
donít have to be religious fanatics to be the loving people God meant for us
to be. What we do need to do though is accept and allow Jesus Christ into our
life by whatever means is easiest for us. Whatís so hard about that?
Here is how it works. You
give Jesus your vices and He will then give you the virtues of His nature. The
fruits we bear come from the living spiritual Christ in our life. In other words
a personís moral fiber originates from what he believes, and what he does with
There are many great
virtues a man can live by, and there are many bad vices a man can live by. What
Iím trying to say is if you mistrust your spouse and often feel possessive and
jealous over them it is because of your own insecurities taking over your mind.
This doesnít have to happen.
Where do insecurities come
from? They donít come from God that is for sure and they arenít a fruit of
the spiritual self either. They come from self. If we doubt self, we will
ultimately doubt others as well. If I feel bad about who I am, I will often be
critical, envious, judgmental and jealous of others. These are the insecurities
that we create in our own mind.
It is not fair that we
radiate our insecure behavior upon those we love. That is why God has given us a
most special gift called the Holy Spirit. This is Christís Spirit within us.
We have the choice. We can either choose to lean on our own understanding for
guidance and behave selfishly, or we can grow out from the vices of self and
become one with Jesus Christ. Jesus is the virtues of character that I have been
[The acts of the sinful
nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and
witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition,
dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the life. I warn you as
I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, and faithfulness, gentleness ands self control.] Galatians 5:19-22
The question we ought to
ask our self then is, would I rather doubt my spouse and feel bad about my self
and marriage, or trust my spouse and feel good about my spouse, my self and my
marriage? We have choices.
To Read the whole Ebook on virtues
and vices in marriage click here.
Copyright © 2006 Heaven
Ministries ~ Angie Lewis
This article may be reprinted in full by citing the author and website.