Deceived Marriage: 6 Key Aspects
For Rebuilding Trust
Did you know that trusting your spouse is one of
the most important elements of marriage? Did you know that without the sacred
bond of trust between a husband and a wife, the marriage will be unhappily
discontented all the while it heads down the path to destruction? How can you
live with someone day in and day out and not trust them? I think it is time to
look at our selves, wouldnít you agree?
There are six aspects that
you should know to help build back the trust that has been taken from your
marriage. These things can be followed in the marriage that has never
experienced the beauty of trust as well.
Forgiving your spouse for
something that has put the marriage on high alert is probably the hardest thing
to do. That is why we look at our selves. Ask your self, why canít I forgive?
Why do I not want to forgive? This is the question that needs to be addressed.
Iím telling you right now, without forgiving your spouse, the trust will NEVER
The reason many of us
donít forgive is we want to stay safe in our feelings that unforgiveness gives
us. We donít want to come out of the negative way we feel about our spouse
because we are angry and resentful inside.
Once we forgive, we canít
hide inside our feelings anymore. Once we forgive we cannot behave the way our
negative feelings tell us to. Once
we forgive we canít use our spouses error against them anymore. Once we
forgive we will have to come out of the resentment we are now living in.
If you want your marriage
to be free of these unhealthy emotions you will certainly need to forgive!
erring against spouse.
If trust has been broken,
someone in the marriage either went astray or did something else to break the
bonds of trust. Whatever that err was, that spouse NEEDS to quit and desist
their erring ways. If you are reading this article then I am positive that you
would like to stop erring against your spouse. You canít expect your spouse to
forgive you if you cannot stop erring in your ways, can you?
When was the last time that
you had an intimate conversation with your spouse? Has it been a long time?
Donít hold back your feelings, even if you think men should not have feelings,
it is quite alright to show emotion once in awhile. Remember to show your
feelings properly, and in a way that will get the issue on the right track to
If you want to rebuild the
trust with your spouse, they need to trust in what you say! They want to know
that you care enough about them to ask them questions about their feelings and
thoughts. Intimate conversation involves getting close to each other through
your words and feelings. It helps to bring the bonds of marriage back together
when we express our self properly and honestly.
Be true to your self and be
true to your spouse in all your self-expression.
Acceptance is so VERY
important. Without acceptance of one another there will never be trust. Trust
needs to be validated in the marriage. This is why if you have broken the
trust-bond, you now need to forgive and accept. These two features go hand in
To forgive properly means
you have decided to rethink your whole attitude about your spouse. There is no
room left for brow beating your spouse about something they did in the past,
especially if you have decided to forgive completely.
purpose and spiritual self together
A spiritually deficient
marriage will be a neglected marriage. Itís
really that simple. Too many times couples go their separate ways and instead of
growing together in the marriage, they grow apart, damaging the intimacy between
them. But a healthy marriage involves a spiritual togetherness that nothing can
separate. Find things that you both like together and go after those things.
This spiritual togetherness
might be to discover true purpose and meaning for your lives as a couple. It is
so important to not neglect the importance of biblical study and prayer
together. Discovering the Spiritual Christ for your marriage is what brings back
the trust that is so vital for a content filled and peaceful union.
Everything takes time. You
need to have patience and wait. Show your spouse that you trust them. Show them
you have stopped erring against the marriage so they can trust you again.
Remember your spouse has
been deceived and they are hurting. Show them you will be accountable for your
actions not just before them but also before God. Take responsibility, stop
erring, seek God, communicate properly, and trust will come back into the
Wives, submit to your
husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands love your wives and do not be
harsh with them. Colossians 3:18-19
2006 Angie Lewis ~ Heaven Ministries
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