The Nuts and Bolts of Marriage – Do You Qualify?

 Copyright © 2007 Heaven Ministries

So you want to get married and maybe have a family later on down the road.  Do you really know what you are getting yourself into? Are you ready to share a big part of yourself with your future spouse for the rest of your life?  Marriage isn't about doing what "you" want. It is about doing what "you both" want.

Are you ready to humble yourself to your spouse when arguments can't seem to get rectified? Are you ready to commit yourself to your spouse through the bad times as well as the good? This is what the nuts and bolts of marriage is all about. No one says marriage was going to be easy. But if you want to stay married for life then you need to be committed and convicted to work at what you started.

Don't be a poor sport and quit the game early. All marriages, and in any condition can be saved with the proper resources. The problem is couples are using the wrong resources to fix their marriage. They don't understand the nuts and bolts of marriage.

During the early years of marriage you might see a handsome prince and a beautiful Cinderella but after going through so many years of behaving selfish and having unresolved issues pop up, your prince might now seem like an ugly old frog and your Cinderella may seem to have turned into a wicked witch. Oh know, now what?

Of course, other people won't see your spouse in the same negative light as you do. But that's marriage for you. Unhealthy marriages don't ever see their spouse in the same positive light as they once did. The reason for this is quite clear.  No spirituality to base the marriage upon because the marriage is based upon self-interest.  Are you married to yourself? Then go right ahead and continue supporting the marriage upon your ego.

Many marriages of today don't even have a bond to begin with. What seems like connectivity between two people really is lust filled euphoria of the newness of each other, and after while, especially where there is no love, gets humdrum. Marriage needs love to survive.

What does marriage mean to you? Marriage could mean considering the feelings of another and enjoying the companionship of another. It could mean playing the give and take game fairly.  Marriage means commitment.    

  1. Are you ready to consider the feelings of another person? You do want a healthy marriage, don't you? Well… in a healthy marriage, selfishness is non-existence! In a healthy, growing and satisfied marriage, couples do not think in the sense of I, me and mine, but rather in the sense of, we, our, and us.  In other words, it is not what "I" want but what "we both want".
  2. Are you and your future marriage partner compatible? Don't think you can change the person you married. It doesn’t work like that. How it does work is both wife and husband find the areas in themselves that need changing and work on those areas of self so they can become better marriage partners to each other.
  3. Are you willing to compromise with your spouse? A healthy marriage takes a lot of cooperation. There is no room for stubbornness, self-righteous behavior, rebelliousness, or selfishness in marriage. Where are the team players? You can be a great team player "if" you play the game fairly.  If you cannot play fair, don’t get married! It's as simple as that.

  4. Are you prepared to totally commit to your spouse and stay married for life?  I know that NOW you say yes to that question but what does marriage mean to you? Answer that and you will know your answer.

What does marriage mean to you? What does your way of life tell you about what's right and good for your marriage? Are you going to value your marriage with the importance that it deserves?

Marriage will be the most important commitment and promise you make with another person. If you think that promise is going to get broken, then don’t even think about getting married, I don't think you qualify.