Loving Your Spouse With Wisdom
There are two ways we can
love our spouse. We can love under our own understanding of what we think love
is, or we can love the way God has directed us to love. I think we all know how
to love, but doing it is a whole different matter.
What is the difference
between the two? The first way of loving is a condition and learned way to love,
which is selfish and self-seeking. We don't know we are behaving selfishly
because we do not know any other way to love.
The second way of loving is
what comes naturally because we have loved and accepted God into our lives
first. The reason it's so natural is because we have recognized and utilized the
spiritual Christ in our lives, which makes loving a natural process of who we
It is very difficult to
love another if we are only thinking about ourselves. Some examples of how we
love our spouse selfishly are, committing adultery, being disrespectful, using
controlling behavior, using negative feelings, becoming resentful, becoming
ensnared in an addiction, and the list goes on.
False teachings on marriage
and loose morals in society have caused many couples to become bitter and
apprehensive when loving one another. Society has lost the value of what real
love is and it has tainted couples into sinful behavior. As we all know sin
dampens our love for God by turning our focus on ourselves. You cannot truly
love your spouse if you only think of yourself.
Husbands, love your wives,
just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy,
cleansing her by washing with water through the word, and to present her to
himself as a radiant church without stain, or wrinkle or any other blemish, but
holy and blameless. In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their
own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
A Husband should be willing to sacrifice everything for his wife just as
Jesus Christ sacrificed everything for us. Do you think a husband who loves God
will be able to make his wife the most important aspect of his life?
A Husband should make his wife's well-being of prime importance. Do
you think that if a man accepts Christ into his life he will know how to love,
protect, provide and care for his wife properly? God will give him the answers
submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife
as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their
husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24
you can see from scripture, both husband and wife are called to submit. For the
wife, this means willingly following her husband's leadership in Christ. For the
husband, it means putting aside his own interests in order to care for his wife
properly. This means doing whatever it takes to protect, provide, love, and care
for his wife under the "spiritual authority" given to him by God.
a husband does not accept the "spiritual authority" of God, then he
has no justification to think that his wife submit to him the way God intends
for a woman to submit to her husband. Obviously they are not basing their love
under the foundations of Jesus Christ, but under their own understanding of what
they think love is, and this scripture, therefore, does not apply to them.
is what couples usually tell me when they are going through difficulties in
their marriage. They want to do what is right for their marriage. They
are willing to work at the marriage but don't know what to do about their
problems. Their negative feelings bring them down, and they are usually
upset and furious over the iniquities and faults of one another.
problem is couples are basing their marriage upon worldly views, attitudes, and
thoughts, and the fact is, as long as they continue to do so, they will continue
to have difficulties loving their spouse properly. When we are not motivated by
love, we become critical of our spouse. We stop looking for the good things in
those we love and only see their faults.
can all talk about how to love and we know what the bible says about loving our
spouse, but what about doing what it says! Bottom line is real love takes
effort, and if the willingness is not there to work on marriage and to love our
spouse with the love that comes natural, couples will have problems.
good news is you can love your spouse naturally and wholly by recognizing and
utilizing the foundations of God's design into your relationship and working off
of that for your marriage.
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Romans 12:9-13
Copyright 2006 Angie Lewis ~
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