Learn To Reconcile Differences And Stay Married
I believe we make
marriage out to be more complex and difficult than it really is.
Itís very true; no one gets married and knows everything there
is to know about marriage, it is an ongoing growth process that we learn
to share ourselves with the person we married.
Reality is once we
are married we have to think about the concerns of another person as
well as our own. Itís not just about us anymore. If we can get that
idea into our head and keep it there then I believe that any and all
irreconcilable differences can be reconciled. Here are some of the more
common Irreconcilable differences.
She Is Too Bossy and Controlling
Have you ever
thought about why she may be bossy and controlling? Are you appreciating
all that your wife does for you and the rest of the family?
Is your wife the only one doing the tango, is that what you are
saying? We so often want to blame our spouse for the disarray of the
marriage but it is both spouses unable to come to amicable agreements on
He Loves His
Friends More Than Me
This is not true!
What is true though is he would probably rather be with people during
his off time that treat him with respect and who does not badger him all
the time. Guys hang around the guys so they can be ďwho they areĒ
and have some peace of mind. If you tend to focus on your husband and
his faults all the time, then maybe thatís why he is with his friends
She Wonít Get A Job
Give me a break!
Anytime a wife wants to stay home and be a home creator she should be
given her husbands blessing. God did not create woman to be a helpmate
to other men and women in the workforce. He created woman to be a
helpmate to her husband, period! Do you want your wife helping another
man at work just so you can have a four-bedroom house instead of a
He Wonít Do Anything Around The House
So what? Wives
should not complain because her man wonít load the dishwasher and
vacuum the living room floor. If your husband is working all day
providing for the family, why on earth would you expect him to come home
and clean the house? You donít really need your husband to do any of
the household chores anyway Ė you just feel resentful because you are
the only one doing any chores. I know because I have been there before.
But that is an attitude problem that can be completely eradicated
from your mind once you realize that it doesnít really matter that
your husband doesnít want to help out around the house.
She Committed Adultery
Okay, and you
looked and ten women last month in a lustful way. Put the stone away.
Why would your wife have an affair? Do you not show her that you love
her by appreciating her and by sharing yourself with her? A woman would
not just go out and have an affair unless she feels unloved and under
valued by you. Women arenít made like men, they donít have the same
kinds of pleasure thoughts coming into their mind like a man does, they
just want to be appreciated and loved.
He Doesnít Make Enough Money For The Lifestyle I
Money should never
come between a husband and wife. When money becomes more important than
the person you married, the marriage will always have problems.
Itís time to grow up folks and take responsibility for your part in
the marriage. Money does not bring happiness and never will but
apparently people have to learn this lesson the hard way. The above
attitude is how money becomes the root of all evil. It is an attitude
thing. Instead of being content with what we have we are never content
even when we have more.
She Wonít Have Sex With Me
Why would a wife
not have sex with her husband? The only reason I can think of is because
she feels used by her husband. For some reason she feels that sex is all
her husband wants or needs from her. But it is not true. I think a lot
of men just have a hard time expressing themselves, and if his wife is
always rejecting him, he probably wonít feel like telling her how much
he appreciates her. Husbands
need to express themselves to their wives because that is what she needs
from you. The more you share yourself with her, the more she will share
herself with you.
He Looks At Porn
When a husband
looks at porn it will most likely keep him from needing and wanting his
wife in a sexual and emotional way. Viewing porn takes a man away from
his emotional troubles only temporarily, and this is why it becomes and
addiction because they go back to it over and over again.
Addictions are all
the same, the alcoholic goes back to booze because they cannot deal with
life on lifeís terms, the glutton goes back to food to deal with
emotional problems, and sex addict goes back to porn to deal with their
emotional problems. All three, the booze, food, sex are secondary to the
addiction, meaning they are only symptoms of an underlying issue going
on within the addict and their inner emotional self.
We must be willing to look outside of ourselves for the answers
we need and decide what source we are going to humble our lives to.
There are many more
irreconcilable differences that can be rectified in marriage.
When you look in
the mirror what do you see. Many of us see a person who can achieve
whatever he or she sets it in their mind to do so, so then why is
marriage so tough for most people to manage? It is because it is
personal and about us and what we expect from the marriage. Do you know
why divorce happens? Couples cannot see through the irreconcilable
differences because that is all they focus on!
If you told your
self over and over again how you canít get a long with your husband,
and how his faults annoy you like a drippy faucet, and how he canít
seem to do anything as good as you, you will actually start to believe
it is true. But that is your opinion. That is the way you feel. Did you
know that there are probably five women that you know that would love to
have your man for their husband? Believe it. Donít think for a minute
that what you see and feel in the man you married is what anyone else
My point is we make
our marriage what it is by our attitude. And we can make our marriage
better by our attitude, and that is all it takes. Having big
expectations is an attitude, a selfish one at that. Being demanding is
an attitude problem. It is a problem because the person who is demanding
never seems satisfied. They have not yet learned to give up their way as
being the only way or the right way. The more disappointed they become
the more demanding and controlling they get.
differences by becoming unselfish Ė by giving in Ė by collaborating
with the person we married. Not until we finally give up ďour way as
the only wayĒ will we be able to actually reconcile any differences,
itís really that simple. Marriage is not that hard, but we make it
hard by being stubborn and intolerant, and that is something that we can
grow out of as we learn to be compassionate and caring people.