King of the Castle
by Angie Lewis
Heaven Ministries

 

The wife who hands over the rein of king to her husband will have a happy and content man. Why resist what God intended for marriage to be? It is instinctive for a man to want to protect, defend, and provide for his wife. When a wife struggles with her husbandís headship position she is allowing herself to feel controlled by him, rather than being the wife God intends her to be.  The question is, is your husband really controlling you and misusing his position or do you only make yourself feel controlled?

In many homes today the husband is not allowed to be the man of the house. His wife has taken the lead in every aspect of the marriage, leaving him to load the dishwasher and take out the garbage. Ask your husband if he is truly happy having you dictate to him how to budget the finances, how to discipline kids, and how to talk to his boss at work, and what kind of car to drive. Would you be happy if your husband came home from work and told you how to cook, clean, wear your hair, and take care of the baby?  Wouldnít you feel discouraged and demeaned as a wife and woman?

The main reason a husband would not take his God given position seriously is because his wife is already doing it for him. This is VERY harmful to the marriage in many ways, especially if the husband holds in his emotions and feels he cannot talk to or trust his wife. He may honestly be afraid to talk with his wife, because she is too overbearing with him. She may belittle the way he feels.  This makes him become embittered and resentful because of mixed up roles and positions in the home. It is disrespectful to takeover a manís place in marriage?

How would a woman feel if after giving birth to her baby, her husband took over all motherly responsibilities and tasks and dictated how she were going to take care of the baby?  She would feel restricted and VERY cheated out of motherhood, wouldnít she? Well, itís the same way for husbands. When a wife acts like she is the king of the house, or when she takes away her husbandís god-given roles and dictates how things are going to be, how do you think he is going to feel? Cheated and demoralized.

A Christian wife should never suppress the God-given position of her husband. She should never do anything that would stifle the ambitions and abilities of the man she married, rather she should encourage her husband to be all that he can be on the foundations of Jesus Christ. In the same way, a husband should never abuse or control his wife in any way shape or form. A Christian man should never misuse his role as head of the family. This is not how God intends for a man to love his wife. When a woman is abused and controlled by her man she becomes resentful and feels unloved and demeaned by her husband.

I encourage all married couples to work towards understanding their spouseís position in the marriage and work towards honoring each other. When we stop focusing on what each should be doing, but rather focus on what we should be doing, marriage just sort of falls into place like it should.

A husband should have the free rein to be the king of his castle, but he should also be a good king and never misuse his position.  If you treat your man like a king, he will love his queen. But if you suppress his rein and take over his position, he certainly wonít take his kingship in the home very seriously.  He may become grouchy, angry, and resentful that he has been demoted to taking out the garbage and loading the dishwasher.