How To Submit To The Person You Married
by Angie Lewis
Why are women
apprehensive about submitting to their husbandís spiritual influence?
I think it is because they feel they are putting themselves in a
vulnerable position. What woman wants to feel vulnerable with the man
she married? Why would a husband demand that his wife bow down to his
authority? For many of these Christian men, I feel they do not
understand the proper ways to love their wives.
The fact is both
husband and wife are called to submit to one another. If a husband does
not ďfirstĒ love (accept) God, then he will have a very difficult
time loving (accepting) his wife the way God has commanded him to? If a
husband doesnít allow God to direct his spirit then he cannot love and
care for his wife properly.
Sincere love for
our spouse involves selfless giving. By accepting God's love and
forgiveness for our life, it will free us to go ahead and take our eyes
off of self so we can begin to love our spouse unconditionally. That is
what submission is. Jesus Christ submitted His will to the Father, and
we honor Christ by following His example.
So when we submit to God, like we are supposed to, then we are
able to better understand how to submit to the person we married and all
others we interact with on a daily basis.
Now that you have
purified yourself by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for
your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart. For you have
been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through
the living and enduring word of God.
(1 Peter 1:22)
The problem is
couples donít understand Godís formula on submission; they have
taken Godís words on submission out of its context to use to their own
advantage. Some Christian men believe they can be bossy, controlling and
demanding with their wife and that she needs to automatically give in to
those demands. But this is not love. This is boot camp!
If a woman does
give in to a demanding and selfish husband she will feel resentful about
it, and eventually rebel against it. I do not blame her. This is
whatís happening in most Christian marriages today, and that is why
Christianís have a higher rate of divorce than non-Christianís.
They are trying desperately to work Godís formula on
submission, but they arenít getting it right!
submission in all types of relationships to prevent chaos. It is
essential to understand that submission does not mean inferiority,
because God created all of us in His image and all of Godís creation
has equal value in His sight. Submission is mutual commitment and
cooperation. God did not make the man superior over the woman; on the
contrary, He made it so a husband and wife could work together
harmoniously. Forget what society has labeled submission to mean, they
are wrong folks. Submission
among equals is submission by choice not by force.
Submit to one
another out of reverence of Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)
A wife should never
feel manipulated and controlled by her husband on the submission issue.
She should feel properly loved and cared for by her husband so she will
want to willingly submit to the man she married out of her love for her
husband. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church.
Wives, submit to
your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as
Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to
their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ
loved the church and gave himself for herÖ (Ephesians 5:22-25)
A husband needs to
take his position in the marriage with seriousness so he can lead his
family properly in the Lord and love his wife properly in the ways of
the Lord, not in the ways of the world. A man can never love a woman
properly in the ways of the world. The world does not know what real
love is. The world confuses love with lust. Society tramples on the
sanctity of marriage every single day.
Love one another
and love the person God has blessed you with.
The Woman You Married
Love The Man You
may be reprinted in full by citing the author, copyright, and website
Copyright 2006 Heaven Ministries