Facts About Submission (love) In
by Angie Lewis
Many folks seem confused
about the subject of submission. Hopefully, this article will bring to light
some needed wisdom and understanding concerning this issue and put to rest the
culturally accepted folklore we hear about everyday in society about
the way, this is not my wisdom, it comes from God, and I am just His messenger.
Scripture says that the
husband ought to (love) submit to his wife.
What for? Why can't a husband just boss his wife around and treat her
like a doormat? Why can't he demand that she do things for him? Because that is
not acceptable behavior on how a Christian husband is supposed to love his wife.
For the Christian man,
there is a proper way to love his wife, and that is not being demanding, ruling,
abusive, controlling, or bossy. A husband's love is submission to his wife. So
then I guess it works both ways. This is the kind of submission God is talking
about because it is the same way Jesus Christ submitted to the Church.
Husbands love your wives,
just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.
Jesus Christ GAVE HIMSELF
UP FOR THE CHURCH! What church? We
are the Church! Jesus died for us. That is how a Christian husband is to love
his wife. He is to love her by GIVING HIMSELF UP FOR HER.
He doesn't literally die like Jesus Christ did, but he does make her
well-being of prime importance in his life.
Submitting to your
Christian husband does not mean you cannot think for yourself, or have your own
opinions, thoughts, and ideas. On the contrary, it means you are free within
yourself to respect, honor and love the man you married.
It means you love God and trust your husband.
Many women feel threatened
by a man because they do not feel good about themselves or because they were
abused in the past and now they perceive all men to be abusive. Negative beliefs
about submission tend to grow and grow and grow, until soon enough the majority
thinks a woman who submits must be a back woods hillbilly. This is what I call a
web of total deceit. Folks are deceived into believing what they hear or what
they have been conditioned to know.
A wife does not have to
submit to an abusive husband. If a man is abusing his wife in any way, shape or
form, then the scripture clearly does not apply. Did Jesus abuse the Church? No!
A Christian man should try and be as much like Christ as he can be. If he is
abusing his wife, he ought to rethink his position as a Christian and come to
terms with why he might be treating his wife improperly.
We are human and make
mistakes. To err is to be human, folks. And everything in marriage is not going
to fit into its nice little comfort zone all the time. Christian couples fight
and yell and slam doors. This is not the kind of abuse I am referring to. This
is normal marriage stuff that usually ends with repentance and forgiveness. If
abuse continues in the relationship, that is what I am talking about.
Some couples already submit
to each other and don't even know it! Submission is another way to compromise
oneself for the other. Submission is
cooperation. Submission is giving way to something we want for something they
My friend said to me the
other day about how much she liked the book I wrote called, Journey on the Roads
Less Traveled. She went on to tell me that she could never submit to her
husband. You know what I told her? I said, really? That is odd because I see you
submitting to your husband every time we are together!
She had to think about if
for a minute and she agreed with me. They have a great relationship. She is very
independent minded by the way, but their relationship just kind of flows
together as one unit because they are always giving in to one another, and they
don't even know it! When you don't have to think about submitting, but just do
it, that is a good relationship.
So, why didn't my friend
know that she already submits to her husband? Because her husband is not
demanding, controlling, ruling, or abusive with her, he just loves her the best
way he can through his own love for God!
Submission is a piece of
cake when you trust in God. Submission takes one thing, and that is great
humbleness. Humbleness comes from God. We learn to be selfish by the way we were
raised, and what made an impact in our life while growing up.
We either learn to remain selfish or we learn to grow out from that
negative attitude, and learn to be free with who we are with others.
For instance, if I am not
free to be me, then I cannot give any of myself away. If I am free with who I
am, I am free to love others with the love that never asks for anything in
Selfish people are too
needy to love others properly. This is one of the major problems in marriage.
Only when we give ourselves up like Christ gave himself up for the
Church, can we love others properly.
Why do people humble
themselves? Because they trust in
God! Why do people trust in God? Because they are humble!
The best marriages are
mutually submissive ones. Marriage is all about give and take, negotiation, and
compromise. Think about your life
with your spouse. In what ways do you compromise and negotiate with your spouse?
What would happen if you rebelled over these issues? What happens when you only
think about yourself?
But the wisdom that comes
from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive,
full of mercy, and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
© 2006 Heaven Ministries ~ Angie Lewis
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