Do Husband and Wife Need To Agree All The Time?

Copyright  © 2007 Heaven Ministries

Do you and your spouse agree on issues, all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If you said none of the time, then I would have to ask why that is? I would suspect there is something else coming between you both to cause such a difference in opinion. And if there were not, then I would have to ask why did you marry someone you have absolutely nothing in common with? 

Marriage can be quite interesting with all of its diversity, and even good marriages have their differences of opinions. I can remember just last week, where three times my husband and I got into what he calls lively debates. Now, these debates are obviously nothing serious gone wrong with our relationship, but more about personal opinion on something that has nothing to do with our marriage. 

Husbands and wives are entitled to having their own opinion and should assert that opinion whenever asked. That means we should learn to not browbeat each other’s opinions. Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I agree on a lot of things, especially the really big important stuff, you know, like, How many children do you want to have? How should we discipline the children? Should we start a new business? And of course, beliefs, spirituality, values and principles are something that both spouses must agree on if they want a congenial marriage.

Major issues like those described above are important and involve major decision-making and should always be regarded with importance, with the wife respecting the end decision of her husband, being that he is the head of the home. If a wife’s disagreement usurps her husband’s authority in anyway then it still needs to be hashed out until both come to an amicable conclusion of the matter. 

It is perfectly “normal” that a husband and wife will not agree on everything, but it’s not normal if they never agree on anything! Wouldn’t you agree? If what they are indifferent about is a major issue that involves the marriage, and or family then they must learn to come to an amicable agreement, discussing such issue until they have agreed. 

Here’s how to tell the difference if it is something of importance or not. Ask yourself will the outcome affect our marriage or family in a negative way? If it does, then a compromised solution is needed. If it does not affect your family in any way, then what’s the problem with having your own opinion? 

Last week my husband and I disagreed on what we thought will happen to Britney Spears. I think with the right role models, she will grow out of her partying lifestyle and grow up and start to take responsibility for her life. He thinks she will only get worse. I think if she gets any worse, she’d be dead or in a mental institution. There is not much worse she can go. 

When couples express their opinions without coming off as a “know it all” or “self righteous” or in any way that would put down the feelings of the person they are debating with, then by all means, they should freely express their opinion. This is what makes us unique in our personalities and individuality. 

One important thing to remember next time you are debating with your spouse is, your opinion does not make it a fact until you actually know the facts. This is where couples can have some fun and grow in knowledge together. If it is something you can look up in the encyclopedia, or got to the library and find out, then do it together. 

On the other side of the coin, if it can’t be established as fact, which is how many issues and debates get started in the first place, then be the first to express your opinion in a way that may very well encourage your spouse to agree with you after all. Learn to express your opinions in humble ways rather than always having to be right all the time. 

Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight! (Isaiah 5:21 KJV)