Why Affairs Donít Work
Copyright 2008 Heaven
Ministries ~ Marriage Healing
What is the purpose for having an affair? Most
people would say it is because they like or love the other person they
are having the affair with. Think about this. At one time in your life,
you also loved the person you married, right? What happened? Some people
have affairs and trysts because they allow their negative emotions to
control them. Simply put, they listen to their feelings. Sex outside of
marriage is a lack of self-control. Self-control only comes from God.
No one has the power to defeat the flesh on his or her own.
We all want to be accepted, appreciated and loved
and when we donít get that at home, some of us go out of our way to go
get it. But it is morally wrong to go outside the bounds of marriage and
enjoy someone other than who we married. So why do some people do it?
simply donít work because many times they are just a temporary
fling. Marriage is (supposed to be) forever. And if the affair is
not temporary, one day you might end up marrying the person you
cheated with, and later find out the euphoria of the relationship is
gone. And now your new spouse nags about your faults. Now what?
Should you cheat on your second spouse now to make yourself
ďfeelĒ better again?
donít work because youíre married. More than half of all affairs
dissolve because the cheater wants to repent and work on their
marriage. This says something to all of you who get involved with a
married person. Donít count your chickens before theyíre
hatched. Better yet, donít get involved with a married person.
donít usually work because the unmarried partner is desperate for
you to divorce your spouse. Their desperate behavior lets you see
what kind of a person you have been hanging around with. Sooner or
later, if they keep pushing you to divorce your spouse, youíll
leave them and go back to your spouse.
donít work because after going through all the trouble of moving
out of your house and being the bad guy with your children, you
actually feel worse than before. This happens a lot. Adultery is not
worth the effort. Have you ever thought about what kind of a person
would have an affair with a married person anyway?
The reality is most
people who commit adultery wish they wouldnít have done it. But the
minority few cheaters will continue to cheat on all their partners until
they are physically unable to. They will never find satisfaction within
themselves, so they get it from using and abusing others. Fortunately,
this is only the minority, but works for both men and women.
donít work because most of the time it is sexual lust that leads
the heart to have the affair in the first place. Some people try
real hard to find justification for committing adultery or they
blame their spouse. This is how powerful feelings can be.
Wrong thinking steers
people further and further away from God and closer and closer into sin.
A personís lustful thoughts eventually make him to commit adultery.
The need for acceptance and love is so strong in the mind that it leads
to sex outside of marriage.
The Lord is with you when
you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you
forsake him, he will forsake you. 2
Chronicles 15:2 NIV)
A personís infidelity
is only the symptom of a greater issue within them. Without seeking out
the Spiritual Christ for our spiritual well being, we will remain
separate from God and unable to remain self-controlled.
We need God!
Choosing to work on your
marriage will make you a stronger and better marriage partner in the
long run. You can skip all of this game playing with yourself and become
the person God intended you to be. God has made us wise enough to make
the right choices for ourselves. We can choose to love the person we
married or we can follow the ways of the world. Use the gifts God has
given you and work on your marriage.
For the grace of God that
brings salvation has appeared to all men, It teaches us to say ďNoĒ
to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled,
upright and godly lives in this present age. Titus 2:11-12