Marriage After Adultery
by Angie Lewis
Do you want your marriage nursed back to health? If you want your marriage
restored it will take some effort on your part. Stop peering over the fence at
your neighbor, and put your eyes back in your own yard where they belong.
First, the offended spouse needs to forgive completely (see my article,
forgive a cheating spouse), and secondly the offender has to understand why he
strayed from the marriage bed in the first place. Infidelity is only a symptom
of a greater problem within the framework of the marriage.
If you have been unfaithful or have anything else pulling you away from your
spouse, ask yourself why? What am I doing that would cause me to be disloyal?
Donít blame your spouse for your weakness. Grow up and take responsibility.
I marvel at how often I hear couples blame each other for their own
unhappiness. Couples should be looking for ways they can please each other
instead of bringing each other down.
Donít you want to give of your self freely to your spouse?
Then step harder on satanís back, and get off your spouses back! Why
are you giving away your body and mind to strangers and those who are probably
only using you?
It takes willingness and effort to seek out all that God wants for you and your
marriage. It is God's WILL that you continue working on establishing for your
marriage a foundation based on trust, respect, commitment and honor. Without
these traits imbedded into your belief system, you will become weak again and
again. What kind of marriage is that?
If you are willing to give up your weakness and truly want to do what is
right for your marriage, God will forgive you. Through His death, Jesus Christ
has paid the price to release you from the bondage of sinful immorality.
Can you accept that?
You are forgiven on the basis of the suffering and physical death of Jesus
Christ. Acceptance of this great truth and the willingness to give up your
unfaithfulness, and rely on Jesus Christ for your new way of living is God's
will for you.
Can you accept that? If not, this article is not for you.
The woman caught in adultery is a prime example of Christís love for you.
It says in John 8:3:11 ďThe teachers of the law
and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand
before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the
act of adultery. In the law, Moses commanded us to stone such a woman. Now what
do you say?Ē
"If any one of you is without sin, let him
be the first to throw a stone at her."
At this, those who heard began to go away one at
a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still
standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "woman, where are
they? Has no one condemned you?Ē
"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus
declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
Support your marriage on the Devine Truth of the realization that your sins
are forgiven. Start over anew and embrace all that you have been blessed
with in your present situation and hold on to what you have. Be willing to
reestablish the bonds of trust and respect for each other.
Base your love and actions upon the spirit of Jesus Christ. Center your
communication with one another around Gods word by taking the time to study and
Marriage is tough! There is no disagreement there. The ability to accept,
forgive and love must be honored and cherished everyday. You need to honor
your spouse. You need to respect their position in the marriage, and you
desperately need to stop analyzing, reviewing, and basing your marriage upon
your spouseís faults and weakness.
Did you know that with God's guidance you can learn to humble your proud and
selfish ego? You will see beyond the weakness of your spouse and learn to
forgive them with the loving kindness, that if they are remorseful for their
actions, they deserve from you as their spouse.
A marriage is only as strong as its foundation. The groundwork for our lives
is adopting the Spirit of Jesus Christ; He is the support, which holds up the
marriage when under pressure.
1 Corinthians 3:11 ďFor no one can lay any
foundation other than the one already laid,
which is Jesus Christ.Ē
Seven ways to rebuild trust in your marriage after adultery.
1.) Forgiveness needs to be attained in its entirety to re-establish the bond
couples once had for each other, and bring the relationship to its full
2.) The erring spouse needs to cease in the act of adultery.
3.) Communicate effectively through the use of expressing the positive
attributes of one another, and talking out your thoughts and feelings with care.
4.) Acceptance of each otherís faults must be established. We all have
faults; quit looking at your spouseís faults, and start looking at your own.
5.) Study scripture for the knowledge of truth, and wisdom of Godís words.
This gives your spouse the notice of your commitment in the marriage and boosts
their willingness to try harder also.
6.) Time will tell. Experiencing
the rightful actions of each other will eventually bring back the trust that was
tampered with. The offended spouse needs to see that it isnít going to happen
7.) Roles, positions and responsibilities of each spouse need to be honored
and respected. Couples need to place more value and importance on their
responsibilities by reassuring one another from time to time.
You can see from the seven attributes above, you only need to put forth some
effort on your part. Whatís wrong with that?
Your marriage wonít be nursed back to health overnight, but by showing each
other the willingness to trust God and to put Him first in your own life shows
your spouse what your true intentions are for the marriage.
Copyright 2006 Angie Lewis ~ Heaven
Articles may be reprinted by citing the author, website and copyright, thanks!