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Difficult
In-Laws: Severing the Umbilical Cord (Part 1)
by Angie Lewis
Heaven Ministries
Some in-laws are
overbearing and controlling. Some in-laws can’t seem to keep their
opinions out of your marriage. I don’t believe most in-laws intend to
be this way; it is a part of their personality. Mother in-laws seem to
be more of a nuisance than father in-laws and for a very good reason,
women are more prone to details and gossip. Some in-laws don’t think
their son or daughter married the right person and so unintentionally
treat their son or daughter in-law with contempt. Some in-laws are
jealous of the person their son or daughter married. All of these things
are wrong and can be very detrimental to marriage.
A problem in marriage today is when a
married man has not yet severed the umbilical cord with his mother. The
man who puts his mommy first, before his wife, will have a terrible
marriage. This kind of a guy does not understand what his position is as
a husband because he is still living as a little boy. If a “mommies
boy” marries the type of woman who wants a husband instead of a son
for a marriage partner, there will be incompatibility problems. Some
wives’ don’t mind mothering their husbands but many women want a man
who is in control of his life and knows what he wants.
Why have some married men not yet cut the
umbilical cord with their mother? Because their mother has never
afforded that opportunity to happen. She has the need to be bossy and
domineering with her son and through it has created a “little-big
married boy” in the process. Fortunately this can be rectified by
first understanding that a man is not married to his mother, and his
only obligation to his mother is to respect and honor her. He does not
have to do what she says anymore. He does not have to do anything that
would keep him from producing fruits for his own family.
A married man’s first priority should be
his wife. Of course a godly man will place God first in his life so he
can love his wife properly. So men, if you are still clinging to your
mother for life, cut that umbilical cord, and give your wife the love
she deserves from you. A wife who has to endure an overbearing mother
in-law and a little boy for a husband is going to feel resentment and
quite a bit of animosity towards her in-laws and her husband. Could this
be why some women become unsatisfied and controlling with their
husbands? They are not getting their needs met in the marriage!
“For this reason a man will leave his
father and MOTHER and be united to his wife, and the two will become one
flesh.” (Ephesians 5:31)
Have you ever heard the saying, “loose
lips sink ships”? One of the worse things you can do is go running to
your in-laws with your marital problems. When you start involving them
in your private business they start to think your business is their
business. Worse yet, is the wife who goes running to her mommy for every
little thing going wrong in the marriage? She still has not severed the
umbilical cord with her mommy. I used to do this, and I found out the
hard way how detrimental to my marriage it really was.
In-laws, parents, sons and daughters all
should keep their feet on their own footstool. This is not out of
animosity but out of love and respect for each other. Sons and daughters
should be aware of how their parents might be treating the person they
married in the wrong way. Could it be because of something you have said
or done? All children need to love, honor, and respect their parents,
but that does not include taking love and respect away from the person
you married in the process.
The bottom line is, grow up and take
responsibility for your marriage. You’re not married to your mommy or
daddy. You have a wife/husband now so sever that umbilical cord and love
the person you married with the love they deserve from you.
Copyright 2006 Heaven Ministries
http://www.heavenministries.com/
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