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What
Marriage Is Not
Marriage
Is Not Man’s Idea Adam and Eve were created perfect for each other,
just as you and your spouse were made perfect for each other. The only
time marriage becomes flawed is when couples stop allowing God to be the
architect. Marriage takes total commitment to one another at all times,
not just when we feel like it. Couples need to be committed during the
bad times as well as the good. Marriage Is Not Designed For Divorce When God presented the gift of marriage to Adam and
Eve, do you think He had divorce in mind? What is divorce anyway?
Divorce is separating two people that God joined together. Is that
possible? Can a mere man separate two people who have been joined
together by God for the specific purpose of marriage? Lets see what scripture says about divorce. Some Pharisees came to him to test him, they asked,
“Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every
reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he (Jesus) replied,
“that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said,
‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be untied
to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer
two, but one. Therefore what God joined together, let man not
separate.” (Matthew
19:3-6 NIV) For example, by law a married woman is bound to her
husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released
from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her
husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress, but if her husband
dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even
though she marries another man. (Romans 7:2,3 NIV) Infidelity Is Not A Loophole For Divorce “It has been said, ‘anyone who divorces his
wife must give her a certificate of divorce. But I tell you anyone who
divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to
become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits
adultery.” (Matthew 5:31 NIV) In this verse Jesus is talking about those who
purposely would abuse the marriage contract, using divorce to satisfy
their lustful desire to be with someone else. The religious leaders of
Jesus’ day allowed a man to divorce his wife for any reason, much like
today. But Jesus’ strict teachings on divorce shocked his hearers
(Matthew 19:10 NIV). Jesus says in no uncertain terms that marriage is a
lifetime commitment. To leave your spouse for another person may be
legal, but it is adultery in God’s eyes. Jesus did say that divorce was not permissible except for marital unfaithfulness. But this does not mean that divorce should occur because a spouse committed adultery. The word translated “unfaithfulness” implies living in a sexually immoral lifestyle, not a confessed and repented act of adultery. Marriage
Is Not About Making Ourselves Feel Good God certainly did not plan marriage to be based
upon feelings, but on commitment and the principled practice of loving
one another. For instance, if I allowed my feelings to tell me what to
do in my marriage, I would have divorced my husband twenty times by now.
Ironically, it is when we are doing loving things for our spouse that we
feel more love for them. But when we wallow in negative, hurt and
destructive feelings, we feel less love towards our spouse. We need to remember marriage is not about making ourselves feel good, but about making each other feel good. We need to let the negative stuff go, so we can become the loving people God meant for us to be for each other. Couples should make every effort to restore marriage rather than look for reasons to leave it. |