Did I Marry The Wrong Person?
Copyright 2007 Heaven Ministries
I am uneasy every time someone tells me they married the wrong person. I know they did not marry the wrong person. I usually try and reassure them on how erroneous this kind of thinking is. I mean, do you see how corny that sounds? Say it to yourself and see for yourself. I think I married the wrong person. How could you marry the wrong person? Who is the right person? What makes someone wrong for you? What do you base that decision on?
We almost never marry the wrong person. Of course there are certain circumstances that warrant this kind of thinking, but for the most part, saying we married the wrong person makes couples feel better about getting out of a marriage they have no intention on saving. In my opinion, we almost never marry the wrong person. We are only wrong in the way we think about the marriage.
Sometimes we marry our opposite, or we marry because of the wrong reasons, or we marry too young, or we marry a selfish and egotistical person, but that certainly does not mean that they are the wrong person for us. It could very well be, that God presents us with the person He wants us to marry for His reasons. Those reasons may not become apparent to us at the time, or even later on, but that doesnít really matter. Itís Godís will - not our will.
I thought at the tender age of twenty-five and three small children at my feet that I married the wrong man too. Nothing about my marriage seemed right to me. Not only did I feel tied down, bored and lonely, but my husband came from an Italian background, and we had totally different views about what marriage should be. I felt that he was controlling, possessive, and too protective.
Did I marry the wrong person? No, I didnít marry the wrong person Ė I was wrong! My thinking was flawed just as is millions of other young women and men today in marriage. If we have been brought up to believe a certain way that goes against Godís standards for marriage we will most certainly have troubles in marriage. I grew up believing that I could do whatever my heart desired. I was the controlling person in the marriage, not my husband. I wasnít happy and I blamed it on my husband. I tried to change my husband to be what I wanted him to be so I could be happy. I didnít care what he wanted. The marriage was about me! I honestly didnít think I had any problems, even though I was the biggest problem for the marriage.
God knew that I was going to be a handful for the man I married. That is why I was presented with a man who took the values of marriage and family very seriously. He was committed to the marriage from the start, and never left my side. I was blessed with a man who stood the test of time and persevered through all of our marital troubles. I now know that I married the absolute right man for me, but at the time, I thought he was the wrong man for me. It took me twelve long years to figure out my own personal problems and get the inner healing I needed to be mature enough to challenge my marital issues.
We never marry the wrong person. From our erroneous point of view it only appears that we married the wrong person. What is desperately needed here is for couples to realize that through their own spiritual efforts, it will get better! Maybe not in two weeks or three months, but with consistent effort on both spouses you can come to know that you have married the right person for you.
Work through your problems one at a time. Donít get yourselves so overwhelmed with the pressures of your marital problems that you leave yourself feeling hopeless. Donít give up on your marriage - seek Godly wisdom and guidance for your marriage daily. We do that by reading and studying scripture and talking to others who have good marriages based upon Godís design. Know that one day, after everything is said and done, you will feel blessed that God presented you with the person you will spend the rest of your life with.