What Can You Do When A Spouse Is Depressed?
Copyright © 2006 Heaven Ministries


Be There For Them

My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, “Where is your God?”…Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. (Psalm 42:3-6 NIV)

What can you do when your spouse doesn’t want to acknowledge the day? Or when they are discouraged and do not want to come out of the darkness of their bedroom? You can offer hope, encouragement and the word of God on a daily basis through uplifting devotions, so they may reflect upon the optimistic and hopeful, rather than on the sufferings of the inner self. Depression is an affliction of the mind that can come and go like the setting and rising of the sun. 

I believe that when a loved one is downtrodden and discouraged, it is because they are enveloped within the negative and hurtful world of their feelings. Feelings can literally control our thinking process, and that can hurt us mentally and spiritually. I have heard of people, who never had any amount of depression before, but after a tragedy in the family, became depressed with misery and grief for the rest of their life. This tells me that depression is something that you are not born with, but something that can just happen at any time in our lives, if we allow it to. 

Sometimes those who feel empty and alone resort to addiction and sometimes prescription medications, but in my opinion, both of these is not what the depressed person really needs. It’s easier to say the depressed person should not resort to drugs and alcohol then it is to prescription medications. But if the meds are so readily handed out by doctors, and pushed by society, then how in the world will the depressed person seek out God for their inner affliction? 

“Jesus answered, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27 NIV)

It is so difficult sometimes to help a spouse with depression because it is something so deep within the very threads of darkness that it is often hard for us to know what to do. Because depression affects the mind, I would encourage you to try things that would bring them out of their state of depression and into the light of positive thinking. Encouraging someone doesn’t always seem like much, but it is actually everything!

One suggestion would be to make your own audiotapes of inspirational and encouraging Psalms for your spouse to listen to on a daily basis. Let encouraging thoughts permeate their mind. Have everyone in the family get involved in reading inspirational tidbits for adding to the audios. I would also encourage uplifting music that touches upon the soul, like classical guitar, or uplifting gospel. Whatever your spouse likes to listen to have it handy for them to play whenever they want. Be happy, smiley, and cheerful for them, even if you're having a bad day, do it anyway. It will also help you get over your bad day - it really will!

For a disheartened person, encouragement and hope are everything! Just having them listen to good lighthearted antidotes everyday will help bring them cheer. If you know of someone who is going through discouragement in their life, bring them a little joy through your uplifting example in Christ. Be there for them. 

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. (Romans 12:12 NIV)