To Trust Again
Copyright © 2006 Heaven Ministries - Angie Lewis
Some of us have a difficult time trusting our spouse after they have done something to hurt us. We want to trust them but the offense keeps coming back up in our head, as if it just happened, which makes us feel resentful all over again.
To trust is to forgive and to forgive is to trust. The two go hand in hand. Both are difficult to do but both are something we need to do for our own health and mental well being. When we can’t trust the person we married, we remain locked up within ourselves, unable to enjoy our marriage. Without having faith enough to trust, we are like little army ants, ready to attack, always on our guard against predators.
Who are the predators? Anyone who can hurt us can be a potential predator into our spiritual well being. It’s what I call “trespassing against the Spirit”. People can say mean things, they can reject us, they can hurt us, and they can even hate us, but if we stay strong in our Spirit then they cannot hurt us.
When we decide from the heart that we will trust again, what happens? We first let down our protective guard we have been carrying around and we become open to getting hurt and feeling resentful once again. But it doesn’t have to be like this. We do not have to become vulnerable to being hurt. We can be ready with God’s comforter so we don’t have to feel the hurt again. You see how that works? Trusting in God will help you to trust in your spouse.
Having faith in a mere human is taking a gamble of being hurt again. And if we do not practice faith in our life we will always be on the edge of life not really knowing who or when to trust. In marriage, it is especially important to be able to trust the person we married. We have to pray to God and sincerely ask Him for the faith, strength and courage to let down our guard and trust our spouse again. We can do this when we have faith enough to know that God will never leave us.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28 NIV)
I do know this much, God does not want us to feel insecure and uncertain in our marriage. This is why we need to pray for our spouse to help them to understand the need for God in their life too. Couples can share their faith with each other, but husband and wife have their own personal relationship with Jesus Christ. This doesn’t mean you cannot be “one in Spirit and in Truth” with your spouse. It means you agree on the same beliefs but have a private and personal connection with Jesus Christ.
Marriage does not already come fixed. At first it may seem like everything is fairytale but pretty soon couples see that many negative feelings, such as jealousy, mistrust, and resentment, to name a few, come out and rear their ugly heads at some point and time in the marriage. This is because each partner brings into the marriage a set of faults, past issues, and certain beliefs, and ways of thinking, which eventually come out into the open. How you handle those issues depends on how committed you are to the marriage and what you base your marriage on.
As couples grow together in the Word of God the marriage becomes whole and complete. Meaning, it is now time to work on what you already have built under the foundations of God’s word. Work on being the loving person God intended you to be for your spouse. Support each other when one of you falls down, and forgive and trust one another so you may be united together in Spirit and Truth. This is what marriage is all about. Remember, you never stop growing, you only become wiser.
…So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of the fullness of God.
(Ephesians 3:17-19 NIV)