How Dating Prepares Couples For No
Commitment In Marriage
Copyright 2009 Heaven Ministries
Most of us walk into marriage thinking we have
married our spouse for life. But what happens a few years down the road
when times get tough? How is our commitment level then? Commitment is
not about words we say to each other at the alter. Anyone can make a
promise, but not everyone can keep a promise. Do you see where I am
going with this?
Commitment is about an attitude – a lifestyle. We
must hold the sanctity and beauty of marriage dear to our heart, even
before we ever get married. This is what commitment is – it’s a way
of life. Now that we know what commitment is, lets take a look at what
commitment is NOT.
Commitment Is Not Dating
Dating is a negative, sexual cultural practice that
has been handed down from generation to generation that has turned into
a process of disrespect and selfishness. The practice of dating makes us
behave in ways that defends ourselves from ever being hurt. Because this
is what dating is all about - love them and dump them custom. How many
times have you been dumped? How many times have you been hurt by someone
you were dating? The dating process carries with it emotions such as
jealousy, mistrust, and suspicion, because you really can’t trust
someone who has not made a commitment to the relationship.
We may threaten to leave the person we are dating
because they are doing something that we do not like. Or perhaps we do
not stay faithful to the person we are dating. After all, we’re not
married, right? Dating is all about “getting something” from the
relationship. Dating is a selfish way to have sex without love. Dating
is all about giving false flattery and praise through the flirting
process just so we can get something for ourselves.
Most people date because they believe it is the
only way to find an acceptable marriage partner. But this fallacy is so
far from the truth. Dating does not guarantee a marriage partner. It
does guarantee getting deeply hurt and it also guarantees emotional and
sexual disrespect from the person you are dating just because dating is
all about the “me-me” attitude. It is selfish.
A truly committed spouse understands the principles
of commitment and applies those principles into the marriage. When they
stop applying the principles the marriage begins to regress again into
something that resembles the dating process. A strong marriage
relationship takes employing the principles of commitment into the
marriage every single day! This is why commitment is considered a
lifestyle. Love must be sincere.
Commitment Is An Operation
Anyone can say they are married forever and still
get a divorce. Commitment
has to be felt in our heart and mind and be a part of who we are.
Commitment is an operation – it takes action to accomplish its
purpose. For instance, if you told your husband you were going to leave
him because he had an affair, is that commitment? No, it is not.
If you told your wife that you were divorcing her because she is
an alcoholic, is that being committed to your marriage? No, it’s not.
Now, let’s make it a bit harder for you?
If your wife does not respect you and is always
telling you how to behave, and you decide to talk to other women who
appreciate you more, is that commitment? No, it is not.
If your husband can’t hold down a job and spends too much time
with his buddies, and you get online and find a man who will listen to
you, is that commitment? No, it is not. These things are dating. You
have not come out from the dating scene mentality, even though you may
This is how the dating scene prepares couples for
commitment in marriage – it doesn’t!
How can someone be truly committed in their
marriage, even if they have had several negative dating relationships?
Well, they must understand the principles of commitment and apply
them into their marriage every single day until it becomes a way of life
for them. Love Must Be Sincere – it is the only way!
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to
what is good. Be devoted to one another in brother love. Honor one
another above yourselves. Romans 12:9-10