Courtship Tips For Women
Copyright 2008 Heaven Ministries - Angie Lewis

Courtshipping is different then dating. Courting is more like being friends without the emotional or sexual involvement. If this sounds like something you would be interested in then read on for some great courtship tips. “To court” actually prepares people for a healthy relationship/marriage, while dating subconsciously prepares people for a relationship/marriage without respect and commitment.  Why is that? Let’s find out.

Get To Know Him Based On Respect

The word “courting” can be labeled as dating by society, but we cannot compare apples with oranges – they are two different things. Sex is almost always a given in a dating relationship. In a dating relationship you may not really know the man you are with. He may seem evasive and not like to talk about himself.  That is a red flag of dating. You may never meet his parents before the relationship crumbles? He may not care to meet your parents. All you know about him is what he has told you. He probably has dated and had sex with several other women before you.  Who knows if he has a venereal disease, AIDS, HIV - who knows.

Courtshipping is getting to know each other through respect of each other. Sex is never an issue and should never be. It is regarding yourself with respect and regarding him with respect. The minute you become trapped in the sexual schemes of dating you have lost the battle with self-respect and you will get hurt. This is what dating is. Love them and dump them syndrome. But usually with dating there is really no love involved. 

Who is this guy who suddenly shows up in your life? Is he considerate of your feelings or does he seem selfish and egotistical - only out for one thing? A man who genuinely likes you will behave respectful. He will respect you for who you are, not for what you can do for him or what he can receive from you.

Let Him Get To Know You Based On Respect

Be honest about who you are, right from the start. Don’t beat around the bush, letting him think you will have sex with him. Let him know right off the bat that no sex is one of your boundaries and you will not give in. If he walks away, great. If he decides to stay for the ride, that’s great too, but certainly doesn’t mean he is a good guy. Tread lightly by only being friends.

It’s ok to talk about yourself and your likes and dislikes. Talk about what you feel comfortable about divulging, but do not play on his ego and give him any private information that will involve the two of you emotionally. Don’t let him be the savior / hero who comes into to rescue you from something going on in your life. Don’t get personal with him about your problems or family…until you can see that he can be trusted. Some things are left unsaid until the relationship evolves from just friends to trusted friends.

Don’t Give In Sexually

If a man really, really cares for you and is serious about you as a possible marriage prospect he will respect your boundaries and not ask you for sex. So don’t ever put yourself in a situation where either one of you will become tempted and give in – because that could ruin the relationship. This means that you should probably never go out alone together but always bring a sister, brother, mother, or another friend or couple to come a long with you. This is preferable and practical in a courting relationship.

Temptation can be hard to overcome, especially if we tell ourselves there is really nothing wrong with having sex with someone we have known for months. If you break the courtship rules and have sex it will change the relationship immensely. It will change your attitude towards one another – it will begin to cause numerous problems within the purity of the relationship that could harm it considerably. Jealousy, suspicion, control, resentment, and all kinds of negative emotions begin to play out because now you are just dating. That’s what dating is.

Don’t Get Emotionally Involved