Courtship Tips For Women
Copyright 2008 Heaven Ministries - Angie Lewis
Courtshipping is different then dating. Courting is
more like being friends without the emotional or sexual involvement. If
this sounds like something you would be interested in then read on for
some great courtship tips. ďTo courtĒ actually prepares people for a
healthy relationship/marriage, while dating subconsciously prepares
people for a relationship/marriage without respect and commitment.
Why is that? Letís find out.
Get To Know Him Based On Respect
The word ďcourtingĒ can be labeled as dating by
society, but we cannot compare apples with oranges Ė they are two
different things. Sex is almost always a given in a dating relationship.
In a dating relationship you may not really know the man you are with.
He may seem evasive and not like to talk about himself.
That is a red flag of dating. You may never meet his parents
before the relationship crumbles? He may not care to meet your parents.
All you know about him is what he has told you. He probably has dated
and had sex with several other women before you.
Who knows if he has a venereal disease, AIDS, HIV - who knows.
Courtshipping is getting to know each other through
respect of each other. Sex is never an issue and should never be. It is
regarding yourself with respect and regarding him with respect. The
minute you become trapped in the sexual schemes of dating you have lost
the battle with self-respect and you will get hurt. This is what dating
is. Love them and dump them syndrome. But usually with dating there is
really no love involved.
Who is this guy who suddenly shows up in your life?
Is he considerate of your feelings or does he seem selfish and
egotistical - only out for one thing? A man who genuinely likes you will
behave respectful. He will respect you for who you are, not for what you
can do for him or what he can receive from you.
Let Him Get To Know You Based On Respect
Be honest about who you are, right from the start.
Donít beat around the bush, letting him think you will have sex with
him. Let him know right off the bat that no sex is one of your
boundaries and you will not give in. If he walks away, great. If he
decides to stay for the ride, thatís great too, but certainly
doesnít mean he is a good guy. Tread lightly by only being friends.
Itís ok to talk about yourself and your likes and
dislikes. Talk about what you feel comfortable about divulging, but do
not play on his ego and give him any private information that will
involve the two of you emotionally. Donít let him be the savior / hero
who comes into to rescue you from something going on in your life.
Donít get personal with him about your problems or familyÖuntil you
can see that he can be trusted. Some things are left unsaid until the
relationship evolves from just friends to trusted friends.
Donít Give In Sexually
If a man really, really cares for you and is
serious about you as a possible marriage prospect he will respect your
boundaries and not ask you for sex. So donít ever put yourself in a
situation where either one of you will become tempted and give in Ė
because that could ruin the relationship. This means that you should
probably never go out alone together but always bring a sister, brother,
mother, or another friend or couple to come a long with you. This is
preferable and practical in a courting relationship.
Temptation can be hard to overcome, especially if
we tell ourselves there is really nothing wrong with having sex with
someone we have known for months. If you break the courtship rules and
have sex it will change the relationship immensely. It will change your
attitude towards one another Ė it will begin to cause numerous
problems within the purity of the relationship that could harm it
considerably. Jealousy, suspicion, control, resentment, and all kinds of
negative emotions begin to play out because now you are just dating.
Thatís what dating is.
Donít Get Emotionally Involved
The minute you allow your emotions to rule a
relationship youíre now dating. Dating is a negative sexual agenda
that almost always ends negatively, even if you happen to get married.
Couples who have dated many partners before marriage arenít prepared
for marriage because they really do not understand the difference
between dating and marriage. Courtshipping is about respect and
commitment, and getting to know someone better for the prospect of a
possible marriage partner. It is not to see what you can get from a
relationship, but rather what the relationship can become.